After a decade of a monogamous gay relationship, my partner tells me that he has been living a lie, is in fact heterosexual and has started seeing a woman. Apparently he only wanted to be gay for the culture, and can't keep up the pretence. What can I do?
by 
Spaceball
ANSWERS: 19
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Accept it. As hard as it is, it's the best thing to do. It's sad that he had to stoop to the levels of being untruthful to himself and you but at the same time, would you really want to be with someone who's been with someone else and is only in it culturally? You deserve honesty and respect!
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http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/679208 I think you are full of crap and this kind of questioning is NOT FUNNY. You are making light of homosexual feelings and situations. This is not nice. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THIS QUESTION, IT IS TOTAL BALONEY.....
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Guess you need to get over it. Sounds like the same situation where a married man announces to his wife that he's homosexual, and wants a divorce. (Or the woman announding she's lesbian. Or what happened with Ellen DeGeneras and Anne Heche.) (NOTE: I understand it's devastating to you. Like a heterosexual married-for-10-years couple where one announces they've always been in love with another, or never loved the other "in this way", the one left behind simply needs to "move on". The best way to do this is remember the GOOD times you've had together, not the bad or the breakup.) I hope you can soon. Good Luck. ;-)
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nothing alas for you, it would appear he's been wasting 10 years of your life, I suppose you should be grateful it wasn't 20 years, not much comfort I know, but that cliche 'better late than never' springs to mind. here is something to (I hope) makes you smile he really must have loved Judy Garland, and show tunes an awful lot. (I know it is stereotypical, sorry)
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I would go after him and cut his dick off and tell him he's now a lesbian... since he could make up his mind about his sexuality ...the look on his face would be priceless
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Oh,Spaceball!You're sooo wacky!!!
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Lol - you speak quite clearly with your tongue in your cheek. There is no "gay lifestyle" or "culture." There are LGBT people, and there are straight people. Both groups have lives, not "lifestyles." It takes some people longer than others to realize their orientation. However, once they realize it, nothing and no one should hold them back from being the person they were born to be. How's that for a serious answer? :o) +1
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Oh, so every man does have the ability to live as a gay man?...interesting things you say about yourself. Gay for the culture..well I've never heard that one before either...in general..this has been a really good joke..thanks:)
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Perhaps you could discuss the option of you both exploring the bisexual culture? Then if the woman he is currently seeing, seems open-minded ....
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Tell your mom to beat him up.
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Do exactly as he did.
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What an asshole! You can't get the last 10 years of your life back, just be thankful he's out of your life now. Good riddance!
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Apparently, he is bisexual. Anyone who's been a gay relationship that long would have to have some homosexual urges. I couldn't imagine a man being able to "get it up" unless he were aroused. Apparently, he's also weird as hell. What kind of ***hole sticks in a relationship that long and then decides that he's living a lie. I don't know...maybe the church has warped his mind. Maybe not. But I'm thinking, fear is a good motivator and it probably motivated him to do something stupid.
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Well that's a switch, usually it's the married man/woman telling their wife/husband that they are gay. My cousin is gay and they do have their own culture/preferences. Being gay is not a choice, unless you count the choice to be totally unhappy living a lie or being totally lonely living celibate. You need to move on. He evidently found something lacking in your relationship - the lack being in him not you. Be thankful that you had only invested 10 years, and at least you don't have children that you have to console.
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Well, sadly nothing you can do. Most likely your partner is either bisexual, in denial, or was trying to figure himself out. I back in HS dated women, but never were attracted to them, I was confused, and was trying to figure myself out. It happens, to err is to human, and I am sorry you have been hurt. If someone is heterosexual, then they were born that way, and will always be that way, same if someone is homosexual, and has a wife, and kids, yet never felt right. Some people figure out who they really are at different rates than others. It took me 17 years to come to terms with the fact that I am gay. I lived a lie in two relationships with women.
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I'd say HAVE A NICE LIFE and move on....cry when I need to and get over it asap.
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Become a normal Heterosexual like the rest of the real men.
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This is actually more typical than a lot of people realize. People make mistakes and perpetuate them because its easy, this happens all the time. I don't know what Sheriff's problem is, even if the question is hypothetical. You can be just as wrong one way as another when it comes to your own sexuality.
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He must be Bisexual. There's no way he has been in gay relationship, then all of a sudden believes he's straight. I think he just likes sex...a lot, and doesn't care who it's with. Unless, you've never seen this "woman" he is now seeing. Perhaps him telling you that was his really lame way of breaking up with you...?
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