I caught my husband texting another girl and talking to her on the phone hours each day. He says there was nothing going on, but in the text msg he said she was the heart for his soul.. Would you believe him?

SOUNDS like there's an emotional affair going on, at least. THAT doesn't mean he doesn't love you or wants to leave you for her. Just that he may feel you're not giving him the emotional support he needs (or maybe HE'S not giving YOU the emotional support).

It doesn't matter if I believe him or not. What matters is what YOU believe. And, if you have problems believing him, then it could be a death-knell for the marriage.

You must decide what you believe is right, in this situation. Be careful about taking advice from people who don't know you or the situation, as many of them may have been hurt in the past by similar situations. There ARE people who HAVE made it through these... indescretions. You can too, if you both work at it.

Good luck. ;-)

He's cheating on you. Whether it's only emotionally or both physical and emotional. He's cheating, he shouldn't be that connected to another woman. I would confront him or confront the other woman.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? Step back...........way back!
Take a deep breath, now slowly let it out!
.
.
Read.........what you just asked!
There, do you see the answer?
Sorry, but you already know, you don't need anyone to tell you what you can sooooooo clearly see.
.
I'd tell him to take a flying leap off his text!

Several yrs ago I found a #-then a year later I found that # constantly on the phone bill. 1st thing when he got up & last thing before he went to sleep. We were happier then we had been for yrs! He said it was just a phone thing-I beleived him! Now 2 yrs later I found the same girls #-i just spent 5 hrs-talking woman to woman with her. Not bashing him. But finding out the truth! I did find out my husband cheated-it was with a women he said he never met.just talked to on the phone-she made him feel good-we just worked...together. We own a buisness-have 3 kids-i was there when there was nothing! I have been devoted & loyal! Found out about her-forgave him-now almost 2 yrs later it has started again. I fought for hi-then realized-I'm not the only one getting hurt here! Neither of us deserves this! He's the liar! He feels no remorse! Then I txted her we talked for 5 hrs-sure she could tell me ANYTHING-but I feel she told me the truth-he has met her-he flew her in when he was out of town-he bought us both Tiffani's bracelettes-same time-different occasions-he did it once-he'll do it again! And I am proof!My kids know nothing! They see mommy & daddy as loving parents & we show our love for each other in front of them-or what I thought was "our love". We would walk into a room & people would comment on "the love" that brightened the room-Lies! All lies! He had it good for a while-but no more! Neither one of us deserve this & my kids don't deserve this! She's even a nice girl-i hate that he has broken both of our hearts & my kids-they will get hurt the most because of this!

While he is sleeping i would take his phone and text her saying somehing racey and see what she says, then make a decision

Something's going on. Do I believe him? No.

I would rather my wife sleep someone she just met than have feelings for someone else and not act on it. Cheating in the heart hurts more. I think that's what your husband's done.

no you should not believe him. it there is nothing going on there could be real soon that is how my husbands affair started texting and talking on the phone hours a day. make him stop it before you are hurt so much worse.

you need to have a serious and long discussion with him about his intentions and goals for YOUR relationship ...

No.

I would have to say that either something is on the way to happening or all ready has....I have been through this before and I took it apon myself to find out by texting her....to find out something had def. all ready happend

I recently found out my husband been calling AND texting another lady for ONE YEAR. He calls her obsessively and vice versa. I literally broken down and almost died when I found out.
I doesn't matter if there's nothing going on; when you talk and text each other on a daily basis for one year, you bond to develop feelings for one another.
If you don't and if it's just friends, you don't need to talk to each other several times a day on a daily basis. You have to be thinking about that person enable to talk for long periods of time.
If he wants the marriage to continue, he needs to STOP that sh *T and do not pick up OR reply to her texts PERIOD!!! If he continues with this, then you have your answer. It is NOT necessary for him to call her and talk to her for long period of times.
If he respects you and your marriage, he would stop all communications PERIOD and do NOT let him tell you otherwise. You are suppose to be the heart of his soul, he married you NOT her!

whats to believe? u read the text. thats what u believe.

Its called an emotional affair. Its the worst of all because its from the deepest part of your heart. I don't know if he slept with her or not, but it could lead to that. Remember when a man falls for a woman it doesn't matter if he has a wife or children, love is powerful and men loose their minds for that feeling, they will throw away their families for it..Be aware... Good luck..

I wouldn't.

wow, you are going through the same thing i am only the other girl is married too. i also have found some sexual text messages on his phone and she feed into it so much so i do believe he is emotionally involved and her husband doesnt know either. so my advice is if you want to stay and work it out then do it, but if he doesnt stop talking to her then i would kick him to the curb because it could lead to more.

He's cheating on you and using you for stability (either emotionally or financially) until he feels bold enough to leave you.

Kick him to the curb. You deserve WAY better.

I would believe what he wrote. He's probably lying to both of you.

Not in a million years.

Never.

Of course not.

No I would not believe him :)

believe him that nothing was going on? NO. I mean maybe he hasn't cheated but what he is doing isn't right when you are married

Believe him about what??

That he didn't send the text message??

That he doesn't talk for hours on the phone to her each day??

He has done both.

Of course something is going on. He's lying and cheating.

Kind regards

Yes I would believe it is her who is the heart for his soul. At least he better hope she is.

Hell no I wouldn't believe him,especially after I saw what the message said. Your husband has no business text-messaging other women. Confront him and tell him its either her or you,and that he can't have you both. Good luck.

i am thankful for the people aren't in my life right now - when these people were in my life it created chaos and they never admitted to it.
There is one particular person in mind is from Richmond VA she works at The Virginia Association of Soil and Water Conservation Districts. VASWCD.

A little over a year ago she texted my fiance over 400x in a matter of 1 1/2 weeks. Lying to her boyfriend (now fiance) at the time about whom she was texting. The whole time she was texting him she was emailing me and going to different events I had, even bringing her mom of whom we had gone to dinner with (I wouldn't be surprised if she was telling him it was me she was tecting when she wasn't)- i wasn't even friends with her but I knew something was wrong, why would someone that I barely even knew email me and try to befriend me.....she never, not once, told me or even mentioned she had been texting my boyfriend. i didn't even know about it until Verizon called me and told me we had gone over our texting limit. I felt betrayed, and used. A friendship I thought was starting was just a ruse in hopes to divert my attention away from what she intended. So I emailed her when I found out:
You know I consider myself a fair person when it comes to judging people. I am a great mother, and a fantastic girlfriend. I wouldn't do anything behind anyone’s back that may hurt their feelings, and I believe that makes me a better person and an honest one. There are people out here in this world that do things and they think their actions may not hurt someone else, or don't ask don't tell.
Well, I have a print out of the last 2 weeks of texting between you and XXXX.
NOT ONCE, during our email conversations did you mention this.
See the difference between myself and people that do this is I will tell you I am going to do something before I do it, and carry through.
Morals are highly valued in our community today especially when it comes to younger people in society. You really should be wary of the toes you step on. You may not know a lot about me, and that could be a bad thing.
What you two were doing, is demeaning and disrespectful to me and to anyone that you may be seeing. No matter how it started, no matter where it went.
Do not contact me, do not come in contact with myself or XXXX anymore.

Friendship over


Do you know what her response was:
Back from Youth Camp and found your email. I believe there has been a misunderstanding. XXXX and I have become good friends but that is all. If you're having relationship troubles I'm not the problem. XXXX and I are friends and only friends


I never said anything about relationship troubles in my email to her, nor had I ever shared anything personal with her.

So I responded with this:

Yes there has been a misunderstanding. You and XXXX haven't become anything. XXXX does not consider you a "good friend". He considers you ******'s daughter.
My point is, YOU never said anything about texting XXXX. Regardless of knowing about it, I wanted to give you the opportunity to say something in regards to it. YOU never did.
You are not a problem, don't put yourself on a pedestal. Furthermore, my relationship is none of your business , and this does not warrant an explanation from you since there were no intentions of anything other than "friends".
In the "grown up" world friends don't text/call other friends bf/gf with out mentioning it at some point in time. That's disrespectful. Does your boyfriend know about the texting?Or was it disrespectful all the way around?
Please take this situation into consideration the next time you would like to text someone for mere "friendship" purposes.

Regards,
XXXXXXXXX

Evidently her Boyfriend didn't know b/c a friend of mine called and asked him about it - he had no idea. no names were spoken when my friend called. Just a friendly hint.
He must've approached her about it b/c the next day her father approached my fiance and told him that I threatened her.

Well from what I understand from talking to EVERYONE in my fiances family they knew about it or know about it now. And supposedly her father, in the middle of the texting back and forth, tried to discourage her from texting my fiance - she did not stop. i can post a list of the times the text messages( it really hits home when you see an actual date and time, b/c she was on vacation when she did most of the texting) were sent you can see the messages came into his phone as late as 11pm from her every day. When I asked my fiance about this he said that whatever she had in mind was not what his intentions were b/c she was his friends daughter he was trying to be nice b/c he's known her since she was little, and she started to get personal with him and he called her and told her she needed to stop texting (which meshes with the story and the phone calls made) or I would find out and get mad. He also said he wasn't attracted to her at all. He just said it was nice to talk to someone who wasn't always passing judgement. What he didn't realize is that the guilt was eating him up alive and he was taking this out on me at home and I was reacting defensively and wondering why he was acting the way he was. From the family that i have talked to it was just "the texting" and not anything else. And the family is glad nothing ever came out of it anyway b/c things worked out for the best. She is now engaged to the same boyfriend she disrespected, I don't even think he knows the truth. I really do wish the best for those two I just think that there are things that are important in life, like honesty. I realy wish she hadn't told her mom and dad whatever it is she did b/c her mom has no reason to be rude to me the way she does now, she never used to do this, I mean we used to go out to dinner with this girls parent....they used to come over to the house all the time, and in any situation given the circumstances I reacted very calmly vs. what some other people may have done. I think maybe she told a different version of the story to her mom, b/c her dad acts completely different to me. I just think it's time she fess up and be an adult about it. BTW she never once text me. nor called me on my cell during all of this even though she had my number. That's why I didn't know who's number it was.
So today I am thankful for the honesty I share with my family. I'd rather hear the truth than a lie.
I would confront her and give him the ultimatum, if he respects you and your marriage he will do what is right.

i am thankful for the people aren't in my life right now - when these people were in my life it created chaos and they never admitted to it.
There is one particular person in mind is from Richmond VA she works at The Virginia Association of Soil and Water Conservation Districts. VASWCD.

A little over a year ago she texted my fiance over 400x in a matter of 1 1/2 weeks. Lying to her boyfriend (now fiance) at the time about whom she was texting. The whole time she was texting him she was emailing me and going to different events I had, even bringing her mom of whom we had gone to dinner with (I wouldn't be surprised if she was telling him it was me she was tecting when she wasn't)- i wasn't even friends with her but I knew something was wrong, why would someone that I barely even knew email me and try to befriend me.....she never, not once, told me or even mentioned she had been texting my boyfriend. i didn't even know about it until Verizon called me and told me we had gone over our texting limit. I felt betrayed, and used. A friendship I thought was starting was just a ruse in hopes to divert my attention away from what she intended. So I emailed her when I found out:
You know I consider myself a fair person when it comes to judging people. I am a great mother, and a fantastic girlfriend. I wouldn't do anything behind anyone’s back that may hurt their feelings, and I believe that makes me a better person and an honest one. There are people out here in this world that do things and they think their actions may not hurt someone else, or don't ask don't tell.
Well, I have a print out of the last 2 weeks of texting between you and XXXX.
NOT ONCE, during our email conversations did you mention this.
See the difference between myself and people that do this is I will tell you I am going to do something before I do it, and carry through.
Morals are highly valued in our community today especially when it comes to younger people in society. You really should be wary of the toes you step on. You may not know a lot about me, and that could be a bad thing.
What you two were doing, is demeaning and disrespectful to me and to anyone that you may be seeing. No matter how it started, no matter where it went.
Do not contact me, do not come in contact with myself or XXXX anymore.

Friendship over


Do you know what her response was:
Back from Youth Camp and found your email. I believe there has been a misunderstanding. XXXX and I have become good friends but that is all. If you're having relationship troubles I'm not the problem. XXXX and I are friends and only friends


I never said anything about relationship troubles in my email to her, nor had I ever shared anything personal with her.

So I responded with this:

Yes there has been a misunderstanding. You and XXXX haven't become anything. XXXX does not consider you a "good friend". He considers you ******'s daughter.
My point is, YOU never said anything about texting XXXX. Regardless of knowing about it, I wanted to give you the opportunity to say something in regards to it. YOU never did.
You are not a problem, don't put yourself on a pedestal. Furthermore, my relationship is none of your business , and this does not warrant an explanation from you since there were no intentions of anything other than "friends".
In the "grown up" world friends don't text/call other friends bf/gf with out mentioning it at some point in time. That's disrespectful. Does your boyfriend know about the texting?Or was it disrespectful all the way around?
Please take this situation into consideration the next time you would like to text someone for mere "friendship" purposes.

Regards,
XXXXXXXXX

Evidently her Boyfriend didn't know b/c a friend of mine called and asked him about it - he had no idea. no names were spoken when my friend called. Just a friendly hint.
He must've approached her about it b/c the next day her father approached my fiance and told him that I threatened her.

Well from what I understand from talking to EVERYONE in my fiances family they knew about it or know about it now. And supposedly her father, in the middle of the texting back and forth, tried to discourage her from texting my fiance - she did not stop. i can post a list of the times the text messages( it really hits home when you see an actual date and time, b/c she was on vacation when she did most of the texting) were sent you can see the messages came into his phone as late as 11pm from her every day. When I asked my fiance about this he said that whatever she had in mind was not what his intentions were b/c she was his friends daughter he was trying to be nice b/c he's known her since she was little, and she started to get personal with him and he called her and told her she needed to stop texting (which meshes with the story and the phone calls made) or I would find out and get mad. He also said he wasn't attracted to her at all. He just said it was nice to talk to someone who wasn't always passing judgement. What he didn't realize is that the guilt was eating him up alive and he was taking this out on me at home and I was reacting defensively and wondering why he was acting the way he was. From the family that i have talked to it was just "the texting" and not anything else. And the family is glad nothing ever came out of it anyway b/c things worked out for the best. She is now engaged to the same boyfriend she disrespected, I don't even think he knows the truth. I really do wish the best for those two I just think that there are things that are important in life, like honesty. I realy wish she hadn't told her mom and dad whatever it is she did b/c her mom has no reason to be rude to me the way she does now, she never used to do this, I mean we used to go out to dinner with this girls parent....they used to come over to the house all the time, and in any situation given the circumstances I reacted very calmly vs. what some other people may have done. I think maybe she told a different version of the story to her mom, b/c her dad acts completely different to me. I just think it's time she fess up and be an adult about it. BTW she never once text me. nor called me on my cell during all of this even though she had my number. That's why I didn't know who's number it was.
So today I am thankful for the honesty I share with my family. I'd rather hear the truth than a lie.
I would confront her and give him the ultimatum, if he respects you and your marriage he will do what is right.

but i have to say the texting and calling for hours makes me very suspitius about him....(not saying something is going on though)

I agree with the girl thats # 9 on here

Wow..I have literally been going through this myself this week. My husband has been acting crazy for about two weeks. Really defensive, picking fights. I noticed him sending and receiving texts at the weirdest times- so I asked him. The answers he gave me didnt mke sense "Im checking the time" or "it was a blank message..thats weird". I took his phone while he was sleeping, and there was nothing unusual on it. (he was deleting her messages and calls...and memorized her number so it wasnt in the phone book). I decided to check our phone bill (I actually considered a spy ware to put on his blackberry to record all texts) and there it was, this out of area number that I didnt recogize over and over and over..almost non stop for two weeks. I did a reverse phone search and confirmed the number, got her name, got her address. He was at work at the time, so I called him and gave him one last chance to fess up. And I heard the SAME THING..shes just a friend, its nothing...blah blah blah. Its all crap. If its nothing, and shes just a friend why didnt you mention her to me? So, I called her (she didnt answer) and then I texted her. Angry doesnt even begin to describe my emotions. My husband came home from work immedately. After alot of BS from him (she was texting him the entire time we were taking this out) I asked him to call her- and he did in front of me and told her that he could no longer text or call her- his family and wife are what he needs to focus on.
I did call her and exchanged a few phone calls. Its completely insulting... shes a white trash divorced mother of two who couldnt spell her way out of a paper bag. She did agree to never call or text again. All I have to say to this is..."We'll see". He claims that me finding out was a wake up call of what he stands to lose- so hopefully we can move forward with no more funny business. In the mean time, we are definately going to marriage counseling to get to the root of the issue.
I wish you all the best- and hope that you guys can all move on in healthy happy ways!