My fiance and I recently decided to break things off after 3 years in a relationship. Now she wants to get back together and I explained to her that I know it wont work. How do I get her to realize that this relationship is not working and to move on?
by 
SomeGuy
ANSWERS: 3
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By speaking to her face to face and being straightforward. The 'explanation' aspect of why things didn't work out is potentially tricky. It can lead the other person to thinking that there is still a door open if they can address these issues or change their behaviour somehow. And too, if one person hasn't finished with the r/shup, then all the explanations in the world won't be heard. It's much kinder and cleaner in the long run if you are up front and simply tell the person (sensitively) that they aren't interested in being in a r/ship with them any longer. And if you really believe and mean it - stick solidly with your decision. No " we can still be friend's ", let's catch up sometime, "I'll always love yous" etc etc It's at best patronizing and at worst can send mixed messages and perhaps give the other person hope that you may feel differently with a bit more time. All the best - there are guys who would take the coward's way out and simply disappear! So good for you!
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Chances are she misses you. Honestly three years is alot to give to a person, but since you both decided to start new relationships...its best to have a ONE LAST talk moment. Go to a public place for a coffee or tea (make sure its brief, so you can get the hell out of there without lingering...) and DO NOT flirt or sleep with this girl. If you go to her place or she to yours; you'll both end up all frothy and gooey over each other. (Its a comfort zone, you both might need the release...but usually for a female it means more, & she does want you back.) DON'T HAVE SEX! After your brief talk, in public, so she won't get frisky or cry... any encounter you have whether she calls or sees you somewhere...is to be brief! If you continue a friendship it will be a sign that you want her back or she'll have the notion you'll soon realize she's the one with time. Avoid her as often as you can. Have only brief talks if you can't get out of it...and start dating. After that she should get the hint.
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You do the only thing there is to do - you keep repeating tje same answser over and over and over again, until she finally gets the message.
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