I tend not to tell the truth. My truth is not always the best thing. I dont sugar coat the situation i am usually brutally honest and that just messes me up so now i lie at everything even things i have strong feelings about. Like People and their stupidity.

Oh yeah! Don't do it! Seriously, honesty is a good thing. But on it's own, it's like a one-legged stool, it falls right over. It needs good judgment and compassion to provide a solid platform. Lots of people are proud of how honest they are, then they go around thinking that means they should blurt out their opinions constantly to anyone who happens to pass through their field of fire. This is a recipe for making messes, and nothing more. Often the best thing you can do is shut up. Knowing when is critical.

I tell it as it is. It pisses some people off and I talk WAY too much sometimes.....but I don't need to remember what I said to whom and I can look myself in the mirror and defend my statements. If honesty screws stuff up then it wasn't anything meaningful enough to keep around in my opinion.

yeep, it's why my last relationship ended .. lol

Yes. At a recent board meeting with the company president, I figured I was going to be completely honest and suggest that as an executive, I do not see the point of having such short (15 minute) and frequent meetings----"We don't get much done at such meetings," I remarked. The president agreed with me wholeheartedly, and decided to EXTEND our meetings to boring 1 hour long sessions! That screwed everything up and now we all have to suffer through longer meetings that are STILL fruitless! Argh.

Yes. Because the truth hurts sometimes.

Yes :)

I have been criticized many times in my life for being too honest about my feelings, and volunteering too much information that just complicates matters (especially in relationships). So, in short, yes.

Yes on both things, but it was better in the long run, because then I wasn't trying to be something else that I wasn't. I learned after that time that honesty is what it one of the most important things.

Yes. I have learned that it is important to be honest but not let that be an excuse to be cruel, you can find a way to say what you feel without hurting the person you are talking to. I hope this helps :)

yeah, that's why I try not to screw up, cause I don't wanna be honest..LOL

Only every time.

nope. can't think of any instances now.

feels like the story of my life sometimes. I feel I have been so honest about things where it messed up relationships. But after a while, I grow to realize, if the truth is what ruined the relationship, did it really screw anything up? who would really want to be in a relationship where you cannot be 100% honest? But looking at the bigger picture, a little later in things when you are more wise to situations, you realize that honesty could never screw anything up.

yes,these are the days when i wished i kept my mouth shut,especially when your honesty is used against you

Yep ! that was my second marriage...

Yes, ruined a great friendship I had. Somethings are better left unsaid.

That's why I just shut my damn mouth.

I think honesty is overrated. You have to walk a thin line of being honest and being hurtful. And I have messed up relationships by being completely honest. Sometimes people are not willing or able to hear the truth even though they ask for it!!

yes many many times.

"If honesty were suddenly introduced into our government, the entire system would collapse" - George Carlin.

Can't think of anything offhand. Your question reminds me of a rule of thumb I once read which prevents one's honesty from "screwing things up." ******** Prior to speaking, one should ensure that one's speech meet these qualifications. * Is what I'm about to say TRUE? * Is what I'm about to say KIND? * is what I'm about to say NECESSARY? If you find speech doesn't meet these qualifications, it's probabably best to say nothing.

All the time, and I do not know why or you do the best you can ,and its not good enough, thats the story of my life LEELEE.

Yes. I had such an experience with my ex-wife; with whom to this very day I still keep in touch as if she were another member of my family. She's gained a lot of weight lately. She and her girlfriend went out of town to a store which sales items, i.e. shoes, dressess, purses, makeup stuff, etc. All the items sold in this "special" store are--purportedly--designed to creat some sort of illution that will help you to compensate for any physical shortcoming you might have, or you might think you have. If you ask me my opinion about the store's claim, I would say to you that that is a bunch of BS. At any rate, she went to the store with her girlfriend and baught a dress which, supposedly, would make her look thinner. She's become very sensitive about her weight. Now, before all of that I didn't know anything about this "special store". I learned all of that afterward. I was at her house when she was trying on the dress for the first time; and so she asked me: "Do I look fat in this dress?" I said to her: "Why? Does that dress is supposed to perform a miracle? Weren't you fat before you put it on? Nothing has changed! My oh my oh my!! That woman did cry for a whole week! Man! I felt sooooo bad and so guilty! I did run out of words to say to confort her. Man!!

young padiwan, you must feel the forces and balances the fine line betwwen honesty and lies. 0.o

yeah it happens to me all da time

It's what usually screws up my life. However, I refuse to change it.

My honesty only screws up what it's suppose to...At least I think so

Yep, I'm alway honest about my past. Some people praise me for being honest others wont ever talk to me again. (I'm an addict) Mostly the people that praise me are have a strong Christian background. ( I always still say I'm an addict because I still am I just don't do the drugs anymore, I always will be I just don't feed that part of my brain, The good overrides!)

Mark Twain said to never tell a lie-except to keep in practice.

Yes and if I had it to do over I would not have been. Since then everything has seemed different between the person and myself and I do not know how to change it. There is no going back once the words are said...oh well you live and learn.

Yep, very much so! I wouldn't honesty though, so much as openness.

Oh yes....many a time.....

Often

Usually, if I cause a problem, it is because I let my guard down long enough to feel like I no longer needed to lie....so, yeah.

In miracle on 34th st. A man says, "Which is better: a truth that draws a tear , or a Lie that draws a smile?" and in Waterboy, the fons says "What mama don't know won't hurt her". I have def. screwed things up by being honest. Sometimes I think it's best to learn the lesson, and not say anything. If it won't solve anything by saying it, I wouldn't.

i dont know. lets see; Earlier, I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke from a pediatric incubator. but that was then, this is now.

Usually if someone is completely honest and that screws everything up it's because they weren't completely honest about things from the beginning (or they gave mixed signals). But, anyway, yeah that's happened to me. I try not to let things get to that point anymore though.

no one likes to hear the truth... and yes i hurt many people because this honesty and i don't really care..

YES lol

Actually yes. My best friends boyfriend was cheating on her and I new it would be the best thing to tell her because she needed to know and she was glad I told her. But not having her boyfriend anymore and knowing that he had cheated on her mad her really sad all the time and I felt like I had ruined her life.

yes, i think that honestly isn't always the best policy!!!

Yep did that last night!! he asked what do you want to see from me to take me back. and i told him. he told me that he isn't ready to grow up at 23 years of age. and i told him that was fine but he could have me anymore. and that was that!

Occasionally I do.. But atleast I was honest right?

LOL ...many a times :-) !

Yes, but that is all forgetten... :-)

yes but if u lie then it is not a true relationship. if u told the truth and they left they dnt like u very much

yes with my boyfriend,i told him i was jealous and we got in a fight

Sometimes.

Yeah, but in my opinion it's better to be honest and face the music then to lie and have it bite you in the ass later.

ALL the time.

yea i do whenever my girlfriend is just like tell the trurth it dont help because she gets more pissed so i started telling little white lies and tyea it isnt that bad.

yea and it bit me in the ass too. told my ex the truth because he told me if i got it all out and on the table we could deal with it. so i did and a week later he left go figure.. I dont know bout the whole truth thing. People really dont want to hear the truth so they should stop asking for it.

It's called being blunt, and yes, it screws up a LOT of things because it is so often unnecessary.

Many times, the truth hurts far worse. But never stray from it.

Yes completely honest!! that when problems show up in my life honesty got dropped off on my face, was used against me to justify stupid actions from the other side. not cool at all, just be cautious who you trust, if you don't wanna have problems, don't trust nobody or keep it to your self , but when you're a communicative person like me who tries to be clear as crystal its a really hard thing to do. =( but honesty that's the key for some people's heart, a dilemma .

Yes, when I would say how I feel to my ex we would always fight I thought it was a good thing that I got things off my chest but only made me feel guilty or bad.

Believe it or not...your honesty is not the problem it's the delivery. There's a book called, "Crucial Conversations" that may help. It explains how power struggles and safety affect conversations and how to avoid the pitfalls that truthfulness may cause. In relationships...truth hurts, truth hurts deeply but it's the surest and cleanest path to solutions. Choose the words wisely and be as authentic as you can be...self respect is more important than sitting in a meeting getting paid to do nothing. Try using that time to do some deep breathing and core exercises!

Yes!

Yes but since getting older - I don't have any regrets. I know that the person can not see me as deceitful or list me as a liar.

All the time:(....go figure, I'm an honest lawyer!

i lost my only real love, because i tried to be 100 % honest this time...

Yes...if someone doesn't know you too well, being too honest about everything right away can be damaging to a relationship. I'm not speaking of lying, but it's easy to misunderstand things a person says, or to overwhelm someone by revealing too much at the wrong time.

This has happened to me a quite a few times but now I just think it through before i say anything ... I now pick my battles carefully and only fight those I feel strong about.

Yes, but you have to be honest, it's one of the most imortant thing in a relationship. You didn't screw it up, the way she CHOSE to react to it screwed things up. I applaud your honesty. Good for you!

Yes I have been honest lately.. but It didn't screw up everything.. it sometimes does, but if you worked on it everything will be ok

oh hell yeah. but if being honest screws everything up, how good is the relationship? if you're a person who is generally honest, keeping something to yourself or lying about something is going to eat you up or make you resentful... might as well end it on an honest note.

Well sometimes the truth hurts... So it would be better to avoid the question.

I know that feeling all too well...

Thats the twist - honesty is for yourself and how you live your life. It always comes with a cost.

yes many a times..

Indeed. If I could give you 100 points for this question, I would.

yes, very recently, i dont think thats very nice, i could have not bothered being upfront and taken the proverbial, i think really, ppl just tend to 'take things' how they choose to :(

Yes! Every time I ever filed a tax return!

Honesty they say is the best policy, in my case it has and can work against me as I tend to call a spade a spade, lately I am ondering whether I should be more superficial and go with teh flown rather than upset soem folks. At a crossroads in my life, cause its going against my nature,,,,,,confused!!

yep, i have always dulled down my permiscuous early years in a relationship even though i had good reason for doing what i did people look upon you as a slut. i really liked a lad once and when he asked me the magic question i told the truth - i never saw him again.

I think anyone that would grill you for details of past relationships is controlling and I would never divulge anything to such a person. You can be honest and open without going into excruciating detail. But really it's no one's business but yours. The past belongs to you and no one else. Some people beg for detail to "understand you better"..that's a load of crap..they can use the information to hold over your head. Best to remain silent. If that means losing this person, you're better off without him/her! Happy Friday! :)

Yes and I am reminded of it every time I give an honest answer here and get DR'd

honesty screws up a lot of things sometimes, but mostly in the short term. long term lies are harder to maintain and once they are revealed, no one's going to trust you for a long time. honesty gets you respect. lying just leaves you without trust worthy people

Omgosh yes I have done that before and it all ended up being bad! So this is what I think, which sucks but it is the way the world works! If you want to have a good relationship with someone there are things that you do need to be honest about and certain things that maybe you need to keep to yourself, because if you don't then it will get all messed up and things will never be the same way the were before!

Are you talking about relationship? That's a two way street where honesty evolves over time. Try some easy topics first and avoid the tried and true taboo topics about sexual exploitations. Is this what you mean?

Always give your best and the best will come back to you. Always be honest. If it got screwed up then ok cause you did what you were suppose to do.

yeaaa :( then no one beleives you

mmhmmmmm toatoalllly

Yes, sometimes things come back to bite you.

hahaha. There can often be no more difficult words to speak or hear than honest ones. Guilty more times than I can count.

In My last job i felt that.But I am still honest and my present job is providing me Rich Dividends.

Yes I am a big believer in honesty but as the saying goes, it isnt always the best policy.

although we like others to be honest, sometimes honesty is not the answer, honestly can hurt or damage things you love and want, so its okay to use white lies. be wise on what you want to lie about though. for example: if you are next to someone with their kid, and the kid is not a pretty looking kid. I sure you will tell the mother that the kid is so cute...now that is a white lie.

this is so so me. I was completely honest with my last gf about some of my past experience with other girls and it for sure backfired on me because she broke up with me for the simple fact she didnt trust me. so i have learnt to shut up my mouth and never speak unless it is absolutely necessary. However been honest is not a bad thing. Some people just dont understand when the next person is trying to be real and not fake.

I've always tried to be honest because I use to lie so much and would lie without trying to. Now I'm always honest and it's terrible. I(20) was talking to this older guy(47) about one of my previous relationships and I didn't not mean to blurt out that it was with a girl.

yes... and no matter how much women try to teach me to lie by punishing me for the truth I will continue to be honest to a fault. women think they want honesty but they don't. just like they don't like nice guys.

I'm always WAAAAYYYY too honest. It has messed up my life so many times.

Very much so. it happened to me just yesterday. Im very honest too. and it really does mess stuff up more sometimes. and sometimes i wish i just didnt tell people so much. or only be honest when they ask.

Its easy to be completely honest while overlooking discretion. You can be discreet and still be totally honest if you remember the other person's feelings before speaking.

Heck yes!!!! But, on the other hand, if I hadnt been honest, things would have just been more screwed up later. Better to do it now and get it over with.

yes! but i believe that in the long run... it's much better to be honest.

yes i have some peopel dont know how much it takes for us to be me and my man fight all the time and i know it cause i was to honest

It came in the form of me opening up to the women in my life way too soon, and them..... well, I'm not with them anymore. The only one I DIDN'T open up to, until AFTER she opened up to me, I'm married too :-)

My boyfriend was trying to "open up" and he was completely honest with me. He told me that he isn't attracted to me, and that I need to be more "girly." He had the best intentions.....but it just hasn't been the same since.