Wow...I am in the EXACT same situation. In fact, I even asked a question about this, asking whether or not I should reveal my feelings. But now, I am in the exact same situation you seem to be in, and here's my take on it. Keep in mind this will probably seem overly negative and maybe a litle melodramatic, but you might find it to be very true. You have experienced what I like to call 'Safety Net Syndrome'. Your friend, who was having difficult times with her boyfriend, needed someone else to turn to...you were that person. She came to you for a number of possible reasons. While on the ropes with her boyfriend, she figured that you, if you are a good friend, would be a good person to come to so she could complain about her boyfriend. She might've figured that you would be a good shoulder to cry on. She also might have thought that she could maybe hook up with you in the event that everything with her boyfriend falls...and that's the foundation of the Safety Net Syndrome. You were here backup in case she fell, but now she hasn't fallen, so she doesn't need you anymore. Why do I say it like that? Well, I just experienced the exact same thing. When my friend's relationship became nearly unsalvagable, we became very close. We called each other every day, spent long hours into the night talking on AOL instant messenger, started hanging out together. She even waited for me outside of classes, and even made the effort to come all the way out to the campus sometimes just to be with me when I had an hour or two to kill between classes. Sometimes she'd call me in the middle of the night because she was 'lonely' and 'needed to hear my voice'. Heck, when she was with her boyfriend she would call me while he was sitting right there and talk to me for over an hour. Then, it happened. They reconciled. All of a sudden, the calls stopped. The instant messages became few and far between. She didn't wait outside of class for me anymore. The invitations to go out completely ceased. The 'I'm lonely' calls in the middle of the night stopped. She only called if she needed a favor or to ask a question. She didn't return calls. I went from being the most caring person in her life to being nothing more than a 'friend from school' in the blink of an eye. She didn't seem to need me anymore, and that hurt. And it sounds to me like you may be going through the same thing. Think of the analogy "on the rocks". Her relationship was "on the rocks", and to be rather imaginative about it, take that in a literal sense. Imagine that she is stranded on a bunch of rocks, the raging ocean all around her, the beach too dangerous to get to. But she absolutely will not fall into the sea, because you are there to hold her up. But then one day her boyfriend decides to extend his hand and take her back. She pushes away from you, and goes with him. You're swept up by the raging sea, and she doesn't look back. Morbid, I know, but you get the picture now. Unfortunately, this is usually what happens in situtations like this. You aren't the only one to go through this, and I know i'm not the only one to have gone through this...in fact a few of my friends had this happen to them, sometimes with each other. Your heart was in the right place at the wrong time. If you feel angry about it, then you have every right to be angry. If its really bothering you and you feel that she's just leaving you behind, then talk to her about it. Tell her that you feel that you and her aren't anywhere near as close anymore since her and her boyfriend reconciled. Tell her that you want to know why she doesn't talk to you anymore, and that you feel like she's just blowing you off for her boyfriend. There's alot of reasons why she could be doing it...her boyfriend could be jealous of you (my friend's boyfriend despise me, which is probably why this is happening in my case), or it may not even be the Safety Net syndrome. She may just be going through alot of difficulties or be busy reconciling with her boyfriend. Don't give up hope, but don't expect an opportunity to be with her to come up again. And if you and her don't become closer in time, then unfortunately that is probably the way its going to be.

Nothing. No one forced you to help the girl out when she was in distress. Remember, you are her friend, no strings attached and you know it from the start. That's the painful reality. Yes, you may be hurt. But it doesn't give you the right to get mad at her since you're JUST A FRIEND. I may sound so brutally frank but that is the truth. A true friend doesn't ask for anything in return. Now, it doesn't mean you need to keep your distance with her. You may just call her now and then to ask her how she's doin and stuff like that. But you could nver make demands because, to put it bluntly, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. I don't have any intention of editing my answer. We all have different views and opinions. Thanks for the comments anyway.. =)

Its tragic, but it does happen. Take it from me...I am a girl, and unfortunately I've done the same thing in the past. So here's an answer from a girl's perspective: When your friend came on hard times, she needed someone to turn to. Maybe she trusted you more than any of her other friends, and after a while, she began growing closer to you because she saw how good you were to her. It is entirely possible that she was starting to fall for you, and wanted to eventually hook up with you. The problem is, you shouldn't have counted on her and her boyfriend breaking up. That's probably why this is hitting you so hard. If they have been together for a while, such as a year or more, than a big fight that looks like it will result in a break up is pretty common around that time. She just took it too far. I actually like MP1116's answer concerning the 'safety net syndrome'. I never heard that before but it makes alot of sense. It actually does sound like that's the cause too...you both got very close, but out of the blue her boyfriend decided to patch things up, or maybe she decided to patch things up. When it happened, she didn't need her safety net anymore. Of course you're still her friend, but she didn't need you to be there for her anymore. Of course, from what you say about her ignoring you, then that's a problem. How close were you before her and her bf had the fight? If you were close before the fight, but are now distant after they make up, then there's a good chance that you may have been the subject of their reconciliation...there's definitely a possiblity that her boyfriend blames you for the fight worsening, and convinced her that to get back together, you would have to be out of her life. If she is ignoring you after kindness and help you showed her, then she isn't worth it. I know its not a good thing to hear, but if that's the way it is then she wasn't a good friend to begin with. One answer here says that you have 'no right to demand anything' and 'you're just a friend'. That answer was very assinine and ignorant. Friends can be just as important, if not more important than boyfriends or girlfriends in a person's life. Since that person has no clue about the relationship you have or had with your friend, you should ignore that answer...its more like a misinformed lecture than anything else. People that ignore their friends for their significant others, especially after their friends have been so kind to them, just really irritate me. Is up to you how you handle this...if I were you, I would return the favor and brush her out of your life. Maybe she'll come around when she realizes that you aren't paying much attention to her anymore either Good luck...I hope things work out for you two, and if not...then she just wasn't worth your time!

Ok...people obviously do not understand this question. Based on his comments and other people's answers, let me paraphrase what he is asking: "A close female friend of mine was on the verge of break up with her boyfriend, and she came to me. Now that they have fixed everything, she isn't being my friend anymore. What should I do?' The question does not ask 'How can I take my revenge' or 'How badly should I yell at her' or 'Why did I miss my chance.' Being that as it is, I would suggest that you try to continue being her friend. If she continues to ignore you, then you don't need her. Its as simple as that. Stick it out...if she remains your friend, then you've still got that and you'll find someone else...and who knows what will happen down the line? But if things continue the way you say they are...then forget her. Not to sound cruel, but girls are very prone to this...heck, we guys have ALL been through it: Girl loses boyfriend, Girl goes to guy friend, boyfriend comes back, Girl ditches guy friend and everything is lovey dovey with her again. If she decided to ignore you completely when her boyfriend came back, then you don't need her in your life, period. I've seen some of the comments people have left...the Sven guy left a rather idiotic remark saying 'stop complaining because he won' and Tweety goes on about 'you have no right to be angry because you're not her boyfriend'. These two obviously don't understand your question at all, so don't get worked up over them...they're completely clueless. You DO have every right to be angry, because she betrayed your friendship, and you are NOT complaining as mr. sven seems to think...you are simply asking us for advice on what to do with the situation. Ignore the people who have issues and need to force their opinions on you...the other people here understood your question, and have given you good advice...I suggest you heed it!

I guess the simplest solution is to ask yourself if she is the kind of person you want to date. If this is how she treats her friends, after they have been kind to her, one can only imagine how she treats her boyfriends. If you still wish to be friends with her, let her know that her friendship is important to you and see how/if she responds. Phone her to see how she is every once in awhile. If she fails to respond, it might be time to write her off. Writing off friends is never easy and is more difficult if you have a romantic interest in one. Hey, you can only do so much right? You tried to be a good friend. Keep in mind, you are not a human yo-yo to be reeled in when she's on the outs with her boyfriend and let go when she's not. Hope this helps. :)

You need to accept the fact that she's with her old boyfriend again and move on, with your life. Think of it this way: if she wanted you as a boyfriend, then she would have made her move, but since she obviously doesn't, then the best advice is to remain her friend and find another girlfriend. Incidentally, don't hold onto the hopes that she'll break up with her old boyfriend, and then start dating you because you need to be realistic about relationships and this isn't likely to happen, but "hope springs eternal." Just don't waste your time hoping and dreaming that someday she'll be your girlfriend, in the mean time, look for another girlfriend and hopefully, you'll find one that you like just as much as this current friend of yours. Good luck!

Hey! All answers here are excellent, but they miss something essential. From a boy's perspective (I'm sorry for the 'offensive language', but some guys need this, otherwise they'll never understand it. Heck! Some guys never understand the subtle and intelligent English proficiency that women use!). Mistake 1: You were in love when she still had a boyfriend. You had two options: a) steal her (the world is hard yes... I know, but that's the 'game'). b) don't steal her and wait until you win the lottery. Mistake 2: You are her friend and not her BOYfriend. I'm sorry to tell you this but: women need a lot of attention and hey! You just fell for it! Mistake 3: Suddenly everything was 'fixed'! Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! She probably didn't even LOVE you. I bet your conversation topics were all about her boyfriend (unless they weren't: see mistake 1: option a). You are her friend not her boyfriend Mistake 4: Go find another woman. Yes I mean this. Where is this going to? Chances are higher that you'll win the lottery. In love with your best female friend that has a boyfriend? Hello World! Wake up! Wake up! You are not in the Matrix... Conclusion: although you cannot choose who you love, choose someone that is single!!!! And you'll never waste your time again. Yours Faithfully, Wise Dragon