Sorry but I had to wiki that and still don't understand what I just read.

Well... I have never been in a relationship, period. But! I study psychology and want to become a couple's therapist so here is a typical argument you would get with them... W = wife H = husband (the crooked one that does everything bad with NPD... as usual it's the guy... ;P lol) W = I wish we could spend more time together, it seems we never see eachother... H = Can't you see that I'm always busy with things? Stop your whining, there's more important stuff in life for now. I'm here, you're there, what's wrong? We're together aren't we? W = Yea but we never go out, we don't do things TOGETHER! You never share what's happening and how you feel and I think we're drifting apart slowly! You come home so late every night and.... H = Yeah well someday you'll realize that I bust my ass everyday to pay for stuff here! Someday you'll understand maybe that it's not easy what I have to go through every day to feed all of you here! No one ever sees all I do for them!! All you think about is you you you all the time... W = I barely can talk about myself that you always bring yourself back up all the time! If it's about anyone here, it's about you! The minute it comes down to other people, you just don't care, do you? H = If I wasn't caring, I wouldn't be working so hard and... W = Working so hard? You do that for yourself Mike. Only for yourself. I'm asking you for time, not money. All you care about is your job. Your stuff. Your schedule.... All we are here is a f***** burden to you is that it? We're the reason you have to "sweat" so much everyday? Is that it? Well that's it. I'm done with this. I'm done. I can't ... That's it... ...and that's how Mike and X came to end their relationship... He will continue on blaming her for not acknowledging his so-called work, he thinks he does it all and that he is the only one that counts. Note that the wife just asked for a little more time. Instead of accepting that he is in the faulty position, he attacks her by telling how bad her intentions are because his "ego" is attacked. People like Mike (fictitious name btw) have the ego the size of the world... but are tiiiiny inside. So the minute you attack them they close themselves to the discussion and attack instead of discussing. Most relationships end with people being fed up around them. And it ends with explosive arguments because NPD people aren't open to discuss their flaws. :) They do not acknowledge other's distress as being valid, justified, especially if caused by them. And they can't admit that they are the problem. If there's a problem, they are the victim of it all, not responsible.

A Narcissistic Personality Disorder takes 'looking out for one's own needs' to extremes. Don't argue with them because they will not hear your argument. As for relationships, think of it as caring for a needy, demanding infant. The difference is the infant will eventually grow out of it. The DSM IV gives an excellent description.

No. Thankfully I haven't. But I was married to a compulsive gambler/pathological liar. Arguments always started with him wanting to avoid dealing with the issue at hand..to divert attention from what was really going on. I wised up after a few years.

Just check the mirror and let you know

Good point by Petrusromanus--arguing or even trying to approach issues is frustrating at best and the DSM IV is handy. The typical argument I have had experience with is of the "it's not my fault" variety taken to extremes. For example, telling the individual that the sky is blue and having them refuse to accept that it is because they think it is purple. If many people tell that person the sky is blue and the pressure mounts, the response is that they only said the sky was purple because of the stress placed on them by those who disputed their version of the facts. They CAN'T be wrong, they are smarter than you after all. They also tend to react in a hostile or over dramatic manner when the world just doesn't see things the way they do. How did the relationship end? It became tiresome and draining and I cut my losses and walked away. Good decision :) We have a few here on AB that are textbook examples. Don't worry, if they read this, they won't recognize themselves. That or the hypersensitivity will kick in and let the whining begin. . . . Hope this helps. Additional info follows: (Begin source http://www.clevelandclinic.org/health/health-info/docs/3800/3841.asp?index=9742) Narcissistic Personality Disorder What is narcissistic personality disorder? Narcissism is a term used to describe a focus on the self and self-admiration that is taken to an extreme. The word "narcissism" comes from a Greek myth in which a handsome young man named Narcissus sees his reflection in a pool of water and falls in love with it. Narcissistic personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called dramatic personality disorders. People with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, and a distorted self-image. Narcissistic personality disorder is further characterized by an abnormal love of self, an exaggerated sense of superiority and importance, and a preoccupation with success and power. However, these attitudes and behaviors do not reflect true self-confidence. Instead, the attitudes conceal a deep sense of insecurity and a fragile self-esteem. People with this personality disorder also tend to set unrealistic goals. What are the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder? In many cases, people with narcissistic personality disorder: Are self-centered and boastful Seek constant attention and admiration Consider themselves better than others Exaggerate their talents and achievements Believe that they are entitled to special treatment Are easily hurt but might not show it Might take advantage of others to achieve their goals Other common traits of narcissistic personality disorder include the following: Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love Belief that he or she is "special" and unique, and can only be understood by other special people Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame, and humiliation Arrogant behavior and/or attitude

I get into arguments with myself all the time. I end up being right and we're still together. HA!

One of my good friends has this disorder. Arguments with him are pointless because he only cares about wining the argument instead of working on the actual issues. It is a lot like fighting with a child.

Oh yes, she is never able to accept being wrong about anything. Privately I had told her that what she did at a club meeting was uncalled for, could have been avoided by making one phone call. She tried to turn it on me, I didn't let her. She didn't like it, immediately back-stabbed me, betrayed me, and started on a trail of retaliation. We haven't talked to each other in over a year.....I don't ever expect her to apologize.....it's just not in her to do so.

On my end there's a lot of "can't you understand?" but of course the NPD cannot. They cannot walk around in another's shoes. In an argument, they go into denial mode quickly and deflect any criticism skillfully, turning it on you. You are being the bad guy for pointing out something they did. There's something wrong with you for seeing something wrong with them!