My ex-sister-in-law was horrible to me when I left my abusive husband. Now she keeps trying to contact me. She lives in another country but keeps sending cards and letters. I refuse to answer but wonder if there is a way to make her stop. Any suggestions?
by 
debsmooth
ANSWERS: 6
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If you no longer want anything to do with her and you want to cut off all communication with her, not responding when she tries to contact you, is a good start! The only other thing that I can think of that you can do, since she does not get the message, is to tell her nicely, that you no longer want any kind of communication with her in any way, and that you would appreciate it, if she no longer tries to contact you, or just flat out tell her to stop calling, and sending cards and letters to you!
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When you receive mail from her..do not open...write on the front of the envelope... Return to Sender. Just keep ignoring all of her attempts to contact you. She will eventually get tired of doing it when there is no response from you. You don't need to be dragged back into that family. Thank god you left the abuse! You are a brave person! Keep up the good work!
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put on her mail return to sender address unknown or get a post office box instead & just inform those who you wish to keep in contact with.
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Your ex sister-in-law wants to make up with you. You should forgive her. Exchaging cards or notes is easy. You are abusing her in your own way. Start to write back to her and you'll find yourself feeling better about everything. There's too much bitterness in life as it is. Don't add to it.
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First, of all congratulations for leaving an abusive husband. That takes a lot of courage and strength and you should be proud of yourself for getting away from such a bad situation. Way to go! Now, for your ex sister-in-law, I don't know the circumstances obviously, but perhaps she wasn't aware of what was really happening - maybe your then-husband covered his tracks well and she heard an entirely different story. I am in NO WAY making excuses for his actions - abuse is completely wrong wrong wrong - if she knew, maybe her loyalty was torn between taking your side knowing that what he was doing was wrong, and taking her brother's side because...well, he's her brother. Do you think maybe she's turned over a new leaf and wants to try in some way to make it up to you now? She might be looking for closure......and forgiveness. Only you can decide if you want to communicate with her again. However, if your ex-husband is a threat in any way, and you think she'll "leak" info or something, keep her out of your life entirely. You need to be safe, bottom line.
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I could make a number of suggestions on how to run her off. But I would also counsel not burning bridges in case you have to cross them again someday. Have you read the cards and letter? If so, what does she have to say? If not, what's to loose by reading a couple and seeing what she has to say? After you've answered these questions we can start working of how to get rid of her attempts at communication, if that's still what you want to do.
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