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by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on November 30th, 2007

DA BEN DAN yanggui zi

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People with long term partners. Do you ever get tired of people saying "you're so lucky"(to have someone)? They don't ever seem to stop and think that you have worked hard at making a relationship work--it isn't all just blind luck.

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Answers. 15 helpful answers below.

  • by look closely it is really me on November 30th, 2007

    look closely it is really me

    If you really have to 'work hard' at a relationship, then I can't see that it's working. A good,stable and loving relationship doesn't need work it just happens.

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  • by kedar on December 2nd, 2007

    kedar

    Well it seems you're right. Although luck might play a part, too.

    But it's important to remember that some folks make their own luck. for example, there's an old saying, 'The harder ah works, the luckier ah gets.'

    This could mean that we tend to attract into our lives the same kind of energy and force that we send out into the world.

    In other words, if you want to attract the right person, you need to become magnetic.

    Becoming magnetic seems mysterious, but it really has a lot to do with being true to yourself and to your dreams.

    Because if a person is happy with themselves, they become extremely attractive, no matter what they look like and no matter how much they earn, et cetera.

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  • by redcatt63 is around here somewhere...... on November 30th, 2007

    redcatt63 is around here somewhere......

    I lived alone for many years without a partner. went through one long relationship with someone who wouldn't commit and obviously was never going to "work" on having a good relationship. I've now been with my current partner over 3 1/2 years. We have ups and downs (but mostly financial ones) like any couple does. But we BOTH want the relationship to work out and we always work at making that happen. I do feel lucky sometimes to have finally found someone who wants the same things I do...especially after so long with someone who didn't.

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  • by Chaysgirl24 on November 30th, 2007

    Chaysgirl24

    Kinda...I DO know that I AM lucky though and I have also put a lot into my relationship...

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  • by Old School on November 30th, 2007

    Old School

    There are many people in this world who work long and hard to start or maintain relationships...and still end up rejected or divorced (not that I'm bitter or anything....;-D....).

    So, yes, if you've managed to keep a long-term partner, you are fortunate/blessed/'lucky'.

    Perhaps this is one instance where people are not "Fooled By Randomness"
    .
    .
    http://www.amazon.com/Fooled-Randomness-Hidden-Chance-Markets/dp/0812975219

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  • by Jewel on December 2nd, 2007

    Jewel

    Of course they know about the effort involved. They aren't saying that you just fell into an easy situation. They are saying that you are so very lucky to have FOUND someone to love and to work with. You obviously have done the hard work if you are still in that relationship. But you had the good fortune to FIND that person you have partnered with. Many of us haven't been that lucky, although we know about and are very willing to do the work, we aren't being given the chance.

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  • by ... on November 30th, 2007

    ...

    Yes I get tired of it because it has been one hell of a bumpy 29 year road....

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  • by Gideon on November 30th, 2007

    Gideon

    I think what they mean - or the way I take it, anyway - is that I'm lucky to be able to enjoy the fruits of staying dedicated to a longterm relationship. Which I am.

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  • by babe12481 on November 30th, 2007

    babe12481

    A relationship is a two way street. It does involve work, it doesn't just "happen". Love just happens, but relationships require work.

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  • by Anonymous on August 4th, 2009

    Anonymous

    I've heard those words numerous times in the past 40+ years with my wife ... and never been offended. Most people DO know that it takes work - and a lot more! - to make a relationship successful and long lasting. Learn to graciously accept the comment. Sadly, too many people committ to relationships and never learn that they are a two-way street....and end up crashing head-on.

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  • by AnonymousGirl on December 2nd, 2007

    AnonymousGirl

    I've only been with my boyfriend for 7 months, and have received this statement more than once. You've got to understand where they're coming from. I have friends who are single and long for someone to love, for someone to care for them. Not just in a friendship way. In a real, true love kind of way. It makes sense to me. Think about it. In a relationship, there may be ups and downs, but in the end -- you still have each other. You can still fall back on each other and know that that person accepts you for who you are, and loves you for you, and lets you make mistakes. At least, that's the way I think a healthy relationship is. Therefore, if we've maintained a long-term relationship that is not shallow -- we are lucky.

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  • by buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind on November 30th, 2007

    buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind

    oh no not at all ... because I am bloody lucky to have found my special lady ...my soul mate and I find nothing hard at all about showing and having respect and love and admiration towards her 24/7... no I know I am very lucky and being told so stops me from taking her for granted

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  • by macdjug-Paxvobiscum on November 30th, 2007

    macdjug-Paxvobiscum

    The truth is that my wife and I do think we are lucky to have one another. We don't get tired of people saying so. We find that we don't have to work that hard at our relationship because we love and respect each other and never make any important decisions on our own. We are a team, partners if you wish. We keep no secrets from each other since we are best friends too. We even have a business that we work together and enjoy each others company.

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  • by Anonymous on September 30th, 2009

    Anonymous

    Perhaps "fortunate" or "blessed" would be more appropriate words, though I understand what people mean when they say we're "lucky."
    They see that we possess that indefineable something that they would wish themselves to have.
    I have been married only once, to the same woman, and next April we will celebrate our 41st anniversery. It hasn't always been ease, for a variety of reasons, but we stuck together and stuck together.
    Often I think I would like to be like a cousin and her husband, who were married 75 years.

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  • by itinary on September 30th, 2009

    itinary

    It is not working hard. It is your need to have a relationsship and it shoudl be natural.

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