Try not asking the same question twice... and try to use the correct category.

I think the best thing to do is to get along for the sake of your children.

You need to put more thoughts with the children and not with how you feel , they are brother/brother or sister/sister or brother and sister and always will be - Please , remember that , the more you all show kindness towards the adults the happier your children will be - Thats the most important issue

Pattijo has a good answer. Here's another. By letting his ex know you are freaked out or annoyed or bothered by her being there, you are becoming the bad guy, to some degree. You are the one everyone will see as being immature, and difficult. You are also giving the message that you don't think you deserve to be there as much as the ex does!. You are giving her the power, in that she can "make" you leave, by her showing up. If you want to come out on top, and stay in this relationship, BE SMART- blow everyone away by being nice to the ex. You may end up liking her. You have the chance to be the unselfish, mature one here.

I've worked with single fathers for 20 years, and this is a repetitive problem I've seen a lot, and is one of the problems with having a relationship with a divorced/single parent. Playing nice is always the best policy. Your children are siblings, and you being uncomfortable with her could make her uncomfortable with the child being around you at all, or worse, in the event of her death, the child living there. The three of you together sharing the holidays for the children is by far better than deciding who has the child for which holiday. It shows the children an example of how adults should put aside their differences for their benefit. You should be happy with this level of cooperation. According to the HHS study Survey of Absentee Parents, over 60% of fathers are denied their court ordered parental rights by the mothers. He very well could be on the outside looking in with no contact with the child. Now, that said, I do hope he's taken all the appropriate legal steps as regards his parent rights and child support. Without a court order, he has no legal rights to the child, under all possible circumstances you can name, including paying child support. Also, child support should always be paid through a court order. If not, at any time she could file a retroactive child support order on him, with everything he's given her being declared a gift. Up to 18 years worth. At age 18, the child can file it, and many have done that in order to pay for college. This will especially happen if she's now, or in the future, goes on Welfare. To learn about this issue go to Dads House. http://dads-house.org/ This is for you. http://tinyurl.com/StepFamily-LivingIn