You should be very careful, make sure you have enough time for the conversation, and especially, avoid making accusations. As a starter, you could say: "Something you said the other day about ...whatever... bothered me. It seems to reinforce a stereotype that I don't think is fair". It's probably not worth getting into an argument about -- maybe your co-worker has never really thought about it, and would see things the same way you do once they're explained. That would be the best possible outcome. But maybe your co-worker is bigoted. Bigoted views are usually a long time in coming. Theyll probably take a long time to undo as well. A conversation such as this could introduce new tension in the work place, and close off further conversation on this subject around you, or even worse, some how attack your point of view, each time the subject comes up. If you think this could happen, then best to figure out a way to present a more balanced view next time, before the bigotry has a chance to raise it's ugly head. That would take the focus of the individual, and transfer it to the truth that you're concerned about.

Simply politely tell her that you find her comments rather disturbing and you're perplexed by her statements. Try to discover why she is saying a particular "bigoted" statement. If she becomes defensive, or her behavior fails to change, then I would simply ignore her obnoxious remarks and remain polite and civil. Just because you work together doesn't mean that you have to be friends. I hope this helps & good luck with your dilemma!

This is something I too encountered in the workplace, after much deliberation, I finally decided to say nothing. I know these bigoted attitudes are problematic in society and inaction in people with opposing opinions do nothing to fix the problem, but there is a time and a place. It has been my experience that putting yourself in confrontational situations in the workplace can be detremental to your career (as I'm sure you realize it's all a big popularity contest), I wouldn't call anyone out in the workplace unless it directly affected me, let others form their opinions about the bigot, most people get these things right. The best bet is to stay out of this in professional settings, and volunteer to an organization that deals with this on your own time if you feel you need to take some action, stating this affiliation at the workplace should have the desired effect of curbing the bigoted commentary. If you have no time to volunteer, consider asking the person that they "not put you on the spot in your place of work with controversial comments that maybe percieved as me agreeing with your view, because I don't!" I know that there are times in our lives where we just HAVE to say something, sometimes it is absolutly the right thing to do ...other times you get yourself in trouble. Just be careful that you use your words properly, and be sure it is not a case where she can just deny it, and make you look like a troublemaker, I've seen it happen. Just my humble opinion, hope its useful.

I'm just here because I realized that I've NEVER answered any of your questions. What kind of friend is that? But then I looked over the list and saw why -- they're all tough questions that would require either research or effort on my part. Where's the fun in that? Yikes... So this was the best question in the bunch, not quite as easy as "what's your hair color", but still up my alley enough to not require me to google anything or think too hard. (I hate anything that looks like work) You're kind of a serious sort. Not that you're never funny, but I think you just tend to be rather serious, in a wonderfully thoughtful way of course. So I think you may sometimes miss opportunities to use humor in ways which color outside the lines a bit. Here's one I used recently in such a situation: "Well, it's not my place to explain what bigotry is, that was your Mom's job. Do you want me to call her up?" Or how about: "You know, I dated a ((African-American, Indian, Hispanic, whatever)) once. I couldn't help noticing that they had feelings too." Or: "You're usually such a nice person. When you get back to being that way, we should do lunch". Anyway, I think there's an endless variety of such responses... I aim for "just enough zing to get the point across without being aggressive".