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Perhaps they "fail to realize" it because the premise is not always correct. For example, if I called someone a "lazy, stinking bum", that person just might have a habit of bathing once per month (whether they need it or not), lying around on the sofa all day (rather than moving), and caging money from everyone who wandered past (rather than earning money for themselves). In which case, the phrase "lazy, stinking bum" would be quite accurate. Some may consider it somewhat rude, but it depends whose sofa the layabout is laying about on. On the other hand some folk like to insult others they feel are inferior or even just different, in which case the statement does reflect their own attitude. Not all insults are misdirected.
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