I'm nearly 21 and I really want a baby, my boyfriend who is 22 really wants one 2 but I'm scared to tell my family, as they say I'm to young and need to live my life first. What do you think?
by 
Charlie86
ANSWERS: 15
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This is just my way to thinking so take it with a grain of salt and don't down rate me! YOU ARE NOT MARRIED OR ENGADED! You are only 21 why don't you wait to get married first and than have a baby. Sure your boyfriend wants a baby what happens when reality sets in and he walks! Not all guys are like that I know and I'm not trying to say he is. But still you need to look at everything that can happen if you guys do have a baby. Do you have money put away? Do you have a home? Do you have a good job that will let you off for a couple of weeks after the baby is born? Do you have someone to look after the baby when you guys go to work? Do you have money for a day care? Do you have health insurance? Do you have a plan if one of you wants to go to school...who is going to work to pay for the baby and who is going to watch the baby when you are working and at school? These are only some of the things that you should be thinking of. Why don't the 2 of you do some volunteer work with babies and see how much work it is before yu do something so big and life changing.
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When you are in love, your hormones play terrible tricks with your heart and mind! One of the most commonly felt urges is to procreate! That is normal biology...the 'nesting instinct'. However, as humans we have the capacity to use logic and rational thinking to overcome these urges if the time truly isn't right. A child is hugely more time consuming and needy than a puppy......I would suggest you get a puppy for now because that will satisfy that mothering instinct you're feeling..and get yuou over the hump of having a baby for many of the wrong reasons. Can't always have what you want when you want it. I'm sure you will be a terrific mother when the time and situation is such that you can provide properly for it.
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Just one thought and it will sound harsh - if you are scared to tell your family, maybe you aren't mature enough to have a baby. It requires maturity and confidence to go against the grain and from your question, I don't think you have that yet. You may want a baby to strengthen the bond with your boyfriend or to show your love, but a real human being gets born and needs the best from both of you; until you can provide that, maybe you should work on a less permanent project together, like buying a new car or renovating a house.
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I was 20 when I had my first baby. I was newlywed, and excited as could be. My kids are the joy that keeps me going, but if I had it to do all over, I would have waited at least 3 or 4 more years. Patience is not easy and the drive to have children is powerful, but some time alone with your man to establish yourself financially, educationally, and otherwise is a gift nobody can give you, and priceless in ways you could never completely understand until it's too late. You will love your children profoundly, so do what's best for THEM, starting now. If you're not already pregnant, don't rush into changing that.
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You are now a young adult and can make your own decisions. However, when I think about my daughter (only 3) I would want her to be self supportive so to not ever have to depend on a man for financial support. I would want her to get a good college education and then maybe a few years of working, recieving a paycheck and being responsible with money while being able to spend it on her bills and for herself. I would hope that she would wait till her mid twenties but I do realize that she'll be in control of her life to do what ever she wants.
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Many thanks to all your comments, me and my partner have got our own place together and have good jobs, but we have decided to wait abit longer to have a baby because we want to save more money and get to know eachother inside out before taking a big step like having a baby. Your comments have been very useful and made me realise a few things. I'm very glad i joined answerbag to get some advice. Many thanks x
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Babysit one for a week. 2-3 year old preferably. then tell me how it goes.
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Babysit one for a week. 2-3 year old preferably. then tell me how it goes.
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You should probably think more about what's best for a baby rather that what you want. If you bring a baby into the world simply because you want one and you're not financially stable enough to take care of it, then you're just being selfish.
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I had my daughter when I was 22. She was a joy and lots of fun well she was growing up. But it was also hard cause I raised her for a well as a single parent then got remarried so she had a stepfather. But if I had to do it again I would have waited until I was at least 30 before getting married and having children.
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I think that you go with your heart and I'm sure your family will support you in your disition.
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He's right if your scasred to tell your family about your own choices then your to young... Also do you have a career??? Have you finished college yet... What does your boyfriend do??? he's just your boyfriend how about you guys get married... Spend a year together then see if you still want a baby.. I'm 20... and all i want to do is graduate from dental hygiene and my bf from bein a dentist and then we want to travel then have kids... Marriage, travel, then kids... go that route....
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Babies are not for cute and cuddly. Babies are a lot of money. You say you want a baby. Why? Right now are you living on your own and make enough money to take care of a baby if you had one. Could you provide all the necessary items a child will need, a home, food, medical treatment, clothing. Don't rely on your parents or his parents or him. Because one day it might be only you having to raise the baby. If you need advice talk to women who have had children and ask them what it's like.
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What makes you want a baby right now? Ask yourself this question, what if you have a baby and your bf leaves? Are you prepared to raise it alone? Maybe a good alternative would to get a puppy and raise until you have really thought out having a baby. Please make sure you think about things like healthcare, daycare, and other extra costs because babies are expensive.
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its a lot of money and live u r still young wait tell your 30 or something it wont hurt to pratice thought
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