ANSWERS: 12
  • Send the card. You're not going to bring up any bad memories she doesn't already have and she may really appreciate hearing a friendly voice and words of comfort and support. Better yet, call her if you have the number. But yes, I would let her know she's in your thoughts. Maybe you could even share a nice memory of her husband to make her smile.
  • I don't think it's too late and I think your friend will appreciate that you are thinking of her. Please send her your condolances.
  • i would send the card. it will make her feel like she has many friends who care about her, and make her feel happy. as for bringing up bad memories, do you really think that she has forgotten things about her husband? she thinks about them every day, remembers all the times, good and bad. what is there to "bring up"?
  • I don't think it would be appropriate to send a card. A card is a simple acknowledgment that an event occurred- sending it now is odd. An "belated birthday" card is one thing- "belated condolences" is another. Instead, invite her to lunch, and let her talk about whatever she wants to talk about. If she wants to talk about the loss, be a sympathetic ear. If she wants to talk about other things, then be there to keep her mind off of it.
  • Very good question, and one that I've been unfortunate to experience, as well. I ended up sending the sympathy card after 1 yr., noting the good person they were, with a few words of encouragement. I'm still not sure it was a good idea after sending the card, but it was from the heart, which I would think means *something*, right? :)
  • I would go and visit her with flowers or some other gift, apologize for not knowing sooner and offering condolences and any kind of moral support she would need. Then maybe invite her over for lunch or dinner or just tea. She will know you care and your gestures should have more meaning that any words you could say.
  • I agree with Koz. I suppose it depends upon your proximity for a visit (you could be quite a distance from her), I would definately call her and follow-up with a visit or send her something to know you care and are thinking of her.
  • If you're uncomfortable sending a sympathy card, you can send her a "thinking of you" card and let her know that you care about her. I agree with Gideon...it's always the thought that people remember.
  • Absolutely send a card - if her husband died 8 months ago, she's living in hell with it every day... you couldn't possibly bring up "more" bad memories. It will be of great value for her to know that there is yet another person in the world thinking of her, loving her, and available if she needs a shoulder to cry on. I would use wording like "I just found about about your loss and was deeply saddened. I know we haven't been able to stay in touch, but I want you to know I'm here should you need me..."
  • i think its a bit late to do that
  • It is never too late. Send the card today.
  • Yes, send a sympathy card and tuck in a letter letting them know you just found out, some personal memories you'll always cherish about the person who has died, etc. My next door neighbor died and I didn't know it for six months - another neighbor stopped by when I was out doing yard work and mentioned the other neighbor's death. I was so embarrassed that I hadn't known and I then made a homemade loaf of bread, bought a sympathy card, and went over to visit with his widow. It's never too late to let someone know you are sorry for their loss.

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