How can I console my 15-year-old sister who just broke up with her boyfriend? I already told her that I love her and that everything is going to be okay, and that I'm here for her if she needs anything. It just kills me to see her cry. Any suggestions?
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ANSWERS: 4
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Basically, stop trying to "fix" her pain and make things better. The one thing you can do that's actually helpful is to listen with some compassion... just "be there" and care. Life includes pain, nothing anybody can do about it. When someone is hurting like that, it does no good to tell them it's all going to be better -- because it's not true, and they know it. It's going to hurt, and that's a process that takes time to resolve itself even if they handle it in a healthy way. But to have someone who cares to share it with -- someone who will acknowledge your pain and not pull away and hide from it, or try to fix it... that does ease some of the suffering. That's called "compassion", and it's as good as it gets for this kind of thing.
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Ice cream or her favorite comfort food a box of tissues, listen and love her.
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There isn't really much you can do- except what you're already doing. You can't fix it, but you can be there for her to talk to and have a shoulder to cry on. That's the best thing in the world. Plus, don't let her desperate-dial him, and all that stuff that happens during a break up. Just continue to tell her that you love her, and that you're always here for her. To listen, to talk, to giggle, or so she just doesn't have to feel alone. I'm so glad she has a BROTHER (:P) that cares enough to want to help. Good for you. I hope she feels better soon.
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Just continue being sweet to her and spoil her with affection and sweets or whatever it is she likes - know that you really cant replace her boyfriend, your function as a brother is entirely different. . Let her grieve and get it out of the system, that's a process she needs to begin and end all by herself :)
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