I think its a personality type..so no, i dont really think one time cheating is possible. i do, however, aknowledge that there are exceptions...i strongly believe that it is a personality type...a type that doesnt take alot of responsibility for their actions..someone who doesnt really care about or understand consequences. so of course, that could lead to other hurtful, dishonest behaviour.

How many times, in how many different wordings are you going to ask this SAME question????????? My answer is not gonna very, no matter how many ways you ask it. Nope. Cheating is a deal-breaker in my world. NO excuses, and no forgiveness. Once you've broken that trust, I don't think you can get it back.

shopping sheryl... do you honestly think that criticizing someone who is obviously confused and never been on this site before is appropriate behavior? Give me a break.

I think one time cheating is possible very early on in the relationship, especially at that point where it goes from casually dating to monogamous. One person may be on a different step in the relationship, leading to confusion.

anonymous, i think it can be all three, depending on what kind of person you are. if you're just unbelievably angry, hurt, confused at your partner and you want them to feel bad too, so you cheat, and you immediately feel horrible, you're not likely to do it again or make a habit out of it. in this instance, one time cheating is possible. if you're a cheater by nature, you've been doing it for years and just got caught, then one time cheating is an excuse. it's a lie, really. because it's not one time cheating to you, only to your partner, who is believing what you're telling them. i think perhaps "one time cheating" is the entrance to more dishonest behavior, because whatever mindset someone is in to make them do something like that, they're probably going to feel like that again someday. it takes a lot of willpower to resist something, and it takes even more willpower to resist something that you've previously given in to. i hope this helps.

OUCH! Once would be enough for me.

IMHO.. Once a cheater, always a cheater

It is dishonest and hurtful, absolutely no excuse for it

Anything is possible. I'm sure there's plenty of people out there that have cheated one time, and never done it again. That shouldn't be a pre-made plan that would take away your guilt from actually cheating though.

I cheated on my gf once and only once. my gf I would dump her imI got caught kissing a girl whilst drunk and have absolutley no recollection of it. Before this happened if you'd have asked me this question you would have got a very different answer. I would have ranted about how disgraceful cheating is. How against it i am and how it is never acceptable. "once a cheat allways a cheat" would have came out of my mouth. Ive in the past told imediatley if she were to cheat on me. She wouldn't have been the person I thought she was. I sat on a high horse with strong principles and morales. I was well known for it. Friends of my gf would describe me as loyal and tru to my principles. When I heard what I had done, I was gobsmacked but my feelings told me it had happened. I had dug my own grave really by being so outspoken against cheaters. I never thought in a million years I would become one myself. I love my gitrlfriend so much. I have always been so loyal. I dont't even have thoughts about any other girls because I see it as disloyal. To then go against one of my strongests beliefs nearly broke me. I have never cried so much in my life as since this happened. I am full of guilt every day and havn't touched a drop of alcohol since. i feel guilty even looking at girls now let aloine having a conversation. I could never cheat again. It would kill me. This is the truth. Before this happened i would never have thought myself humanly possible to cheat. I have though and lots of people could make the same mistakes. These people willt hen be seen theri whole life as a cheat. Getting looks everywhere they go. I will never stop being punished by myself or by toehrs. And nobody will ever believe in my relationship again. Most people wont have much sympathy for me anf understandably so. Cheating is after all never acceptable. Its one of the worst things a person can do. I would like to say, however, that good people do sometimes do bad things. I know now i could forgive my gf in the same situation. I know that life isn't black and white. I know the dangers of drinking to much and losing control. My gf has forgiven me but it still hurts her to thin of what I have done. I would do anything to take back that hurt but I can't. All I can do is be the best bf I can be and look after her the best I can. I will prove that the statement "once a cheat always a cheat does not apply to me" and it might nopt apply to lots of people. Hope what Ive said here will help people in the same situation. I love my gf, always will.

Cheating is cheating, whether it's one time or one hundred

My guess is that it wasn't the first time this person was dishonest,selfish or hurtful.It doesn't hecessarily mean having an affair.

Just to show how weak the relationship is and it start falling apart.

It's possible, but not likely. It takes a certain kind of person to cheat and once you've proven yourself to be that kind of person there's nothing left to do but get help for it, or continue to succumb to your urges when the opportunity arises.

One time cheating is not possible unless the reason for cheating has been eliminated or repaired.

I am 20 and have been with my bf for six months. From the beggining it was pretty rocky. He strung me along and i suppose he was testing me to see if i was worthy. I had trouble trusting and looked for reasons to support my theory that he didnt really care about me and surprise found a few. There were dodgy texts and comments from people i didnt know warning me about him. I didnt say anything because i was weak and didnt want to loose him i was crazy about him. This messed with my head and one night i got horrendously drunk. Everything built up, the hurt and resentment and i cheated. There is absloutely no excuse. I did it because i couldnt face what was going on, i was weak. I truly believed he was going to break up with me anyway. I have never cheated. It meant nothing to me and the whole time i thought of him. All it did was make me love him more. I realised that i was going to have to stop being insecure and grow up. I decided that if he said he was with me he must be and i was going to put all my trust into him (something i have never done) and spend the rest of however long it lasts putting my all into the relationship. Strangely now much later things are perfect between us. I decided not to tell him because i know how much it will hurt him. He is unforgiving. Everyday I feel overwhelmed with guilt and disgust at what i did. I figure its good though becuase it reminds me how much i love him and how much i deeply regret my actions. If anyone should feel like shit and suffer its me not him it was my action. The guilt will never go away. I am completely loyal to him in everyway now. I always felt this way but jelousy and an immature way of handling things made me act the opposite. I have learnt alot about myself and relationships. I have changed alot. But sadly it has stemmed from a wretched act. I dont know if ive made the right decision by not telling but our past of playing games and hurting each other is over and i just want us to go further and to work. Its never easy not telling and it shouldnt be. If it is you shouldnt be with that person.

It is possible, especially if they feel a lot of real guilt afterwards. With that said there is no excuse, and its something to be concerned about

This is long, SORRY. But, I can relate to Anonymous and her experience. I recently cheated on my boyfriend but before I go and try to justify my horrendous actions (which were absolutely unacceptable and are now tearing me to pieces) I want to say that for the most part everything was perfect in our relationship. However, I did feel that my boyfriend never trusted me from the get-go which was based off of my innocently outgoing character. I am a people-person and making small talk with the ladies in line for the bathroom at a club was seen as inappropriate and risky in his opinion. He has a problem trusting people. Anyway, I was loyal to him for the first five months of our relationship when I was at school--an environment which offered temptations which I resisted. Now it is summer and I guess he would have never expected me to commit this act of infidelity being at home--although technically I was down the shore when it happened. To make a long story short I was extremely drunk, was taken advantage of by a guy who ALSO had a girlfriend of a long time. This guy was accompanying his friend who was hooking up with my girl friend. Throughout the night we both made it clear that we were in love with our sig others and not looking for anything. We all went back to my friends house and I was all settled for bed when the next thing I know this guy is taking off my clothes and engages in sex with me. I was so obliterated that at first I didn't say anything. I guess I was in shock. There was no foreplay to stop me, just sex. I didn't give consent or say no. Seconds later I realized what was happening and put a stop to it all and kicked him out. Before I could confess to my boyfriend, he had gone through my phone and seen questionable messages I had sent to my girl friend about this awful experience. I felt so guilty and scared about what had happened that I had already scheduled an STD test at Planned Parenthood (you never know, even though we used a condom). I obviously was worried about the welfare of my boyfriend and I just wanted to be sure. So here I am, wishing the worst on myself for something that wouldn't have happened had I consumed too much that evening. I love him and he still says he loves me but his strong sense of pride is in the way of our reuniting. He knows I made a mistake and was taken advantage of and yet I guess he still views me as dirtied/impure to some degree. This experience has made me love him more but also brought out the worst in him. He obviously had doubted my fidelity and the one time I fucked up he found out on his own my invading my personal space. I don't know what the future holds but I know I am sincere and wish the best for both of us, together or not. I know I would do anything for him and I royally screwed up. One night. Five seconds. That is all it took to make me feel lower than life. I guess some would think he is being to harsh on me. I like to think he is. But he certainly makes me feel like I deserve this by not accepting my sincerity in apologizing for this event. To answer the original question about one-time cheating--is it an excuse or whatnot? In my case, all I know is I will NEVER make this mistake again. I realize alcohol was a factor and this experience has embedded within me such devastation that I will never binge drink again. My family has a long line of alcoholics and I don't want to be another victim of this bad habit, although lately I had been depending on alcohol more and more as a release (being unemployed and having personal issues.) I went down the shore in the first place to get away from my crazy family who is racist and trouble-makers. I went out to let off some steam with my friend, didn't eat enough for dinner, and ended almost blacking out--and the rest you already know. I certainly think that it all depends on this situation and the person confessing. For others maybe it is a gateway to more dishonesty, but every case has varied factors that can affect the overall outcome.