If your wife does not co-operate in sex, she doesn't like it that much and just does it as a job, what should a guy do about it?

I lost interest in my ex because I just plain didn't like him anymore. Women (Ok, me. I can't speak for all women) don't have sex just to have it. It's an expression of love (or lust). It's pretty hard to get hot and bothered over someone who hurts your feelings or doesn't come home at night or doesn't help with the kids. I think you need to look honestly at your relationship and see if any of the above is true. Fix that and she'll be "co-operative" (BTW, that conjures up a mental image of you having to tie her up)again.

Become less dependent on sex.

SERIOUSLY.

Sex is often used as a tool women use to manipulate, control or punish men. After my 1st marriage, I resolved to break my dependency. I never pursue my present wife for sex, I wait until she comes to me.

You might find she'll change her perspective and be a little more receptive if you don't make it an issue.

There could be many reasons so I would suggest talking with her about what gave her this attitude towards sex.

Otherwise, I would try to create a mood. Whatever makes her relaxed, candlelit dinner, watch some comedy play some pool, anything to make a pleasant atmosphere. For women a lot of sex/making love is mental. I would definitely work in some type of touch later, whether by massage or brushing her hair or lightly scratching her back.

After a time of more innocent touching, start slowly going for the more intimate areas. The key is to take your time and judge her reactions. Prolong the things she is enjoying and move on to something else if she gets uncomfortable. If you run into several touches she is uncomfortable with take a break and ask her what she did like and what she would like and make some suggestions of your own to get her used to the ideas. Or just keep going if things are going well. :)

Since I don't know your situation it's hard to go into more detail. There could be many reasons for not liking sex, anything from a moralistic 'sex is for procreation and it's a sin to enjoy it' to sexual abuse to being uncomfortable with her body and not being able to let go and enjoy the sensations.

With love an patience you can overcome most of those reasons, good luck to you both!

I have no idea. I wish I did. My wife was fine until we had a child. Now, she rarely gets turned on and really wants to have sex.

Im hoping that someone else will have a good recomdadtion on this cause I dont.

Its certainly not her fault. I think its natural in a way. The purpose of sex is pro-creation. Once that purpose is gone (My tubes are tied), sex looses some of its meaning and desire for women.

Least thats the best answer that I can come up with. Anyone else??

Seduce her, try showing her some "love-making" movies, spend time loving her instead of mindlessly jumping into bed. If that doesn't work, then try becoming a celibate. It’s "in" these days.

Nothing you can do, if she don't like it that's just too bad on you.
You have to decide whether you can cope with the amount of physicality she is prepared to give you and if you're not it's never going to work.

I am wondering, if she acts like it is a job maybe you could try showing HER more pleasure?

I think that if the man is always farting and watching tv, it's hard to be turned on to that. if the man doesn't take time to laugh with me, do things that make me happy, etc...and in bed if he just goes right for the you know what, it's a turn off. i have to say though, it's not about romance. sometimes i just want it raw and aggressive (not in a bad way though). if he's trying to light candles and do a back rub, most likey i will get sleepy. but what about a nice unexpected shake down in the middle of the night? that's nice. it's not the routine that is so expected. if stress has been part of her life, that will play a big part in her inability to get into sex. and finally, sex appeal has a lot to do with the man's confidence. if you want it, there it is, go and get it and show her how much you want her. don't leave it up to guessing games. a woman wants to be wanted and a confident and tactfully agressive male will be well received. the best man i've ever had was more clued in with my body than i've ever known since. make it your misson to make her happy in the sac. she'll beg you for more.

There are many reasons why either a man or woman loses interest in sex. Physical, psychological. Assuming everybody's healthy we turn to the mind. After all, sex is still 90% psychological. So if you believe your overall performance as a husband is at least satisfactory if not superlative, then perhaps a marriage counselor or sex therapist would be appropriate. One answer suggested a poor performing husband (not bedroom performance, overall performance) may be a reason. So examine your performance, honestly. If you're all right, and she's all right physically, then there is somethign wrong upstairs. Seek counseling.

Co-operate? I wouldn't "co-operate" either if my guy put it that way!

well if she thinks its a job I guess you should pay her maybe you could base it on her preformance then she might take iterest. no, sorry just kidden realy maybe forget about the sex and concentrate on the romance you once had

What should a guy do about it? Well, first to wonder where she is getting her sexual needs met.

Communication puts an end to confusion. If the spark is no loger there, ask her what has changed. One ounce of revelation, gets rid of a ton of consternation

Solve one problem at a time.

Problem: Why doesn't she co-operate?
Don't ask her do things she really doesn't enjoy. There are enough sexual acts and positions that you should be able to come up with something you both enjoy. If there is something you desire, let her know, but then let it go. Perhaps she will 'co-operate' when she doesn't feel it's mandatory. Talk about how much sex you both feel is appropriate and reach a compromise , if necessary.

Problem: Why doesn't she like it?
Make sure when you do have sex that she is greatly pleasured as well. Don't assume you're doing fine--ask her what she likes before you take your pleasure. Set the mood long before by romancing her a bit. Perhaps a massage, some chocolate dipped fruit, scented candles, or a romantic movie (or something more risque' if she's up for it).

Problem: Why does she do it as a job?
If she's treating it like a job perhaps she feels like it is a job. How's your timing? Maybe she's tired, overburdened and really just wants to sleep. We all go through highs and lows.

Make sure sex is appropriate (both in good health, no children around, not too late or too early, etc.). Women are greatly influenced by how they feel, and this includes her self image. How is her self image? Ideally, a woman needs to feel sexy to be a sex goddess. Good luck. I hope this helps!

Sneek some Zinc into her food- it will boost her sex drive! hahaha unless she already take vitamins-than i guess you are screwed (pardon the pun)!

In my case my husband does what I hate... spending volunteerily time with the person (women) I hate, the person who does not respect his wife for what she is. Where there is disrespect for your wife, how can you stay and enjoy chatting and laughing with such a person. Who is important and valuable in your balance? Your wife? Or... your so called friends who arrived yesteday and will catch the plane tomorrow...?
I share this story because, avoid places and things your wife does not like... this affects her psychologically... you don't really have to do more than that to please her and bring her to a good psychological shape. If you really love her, don't give damn importance to what she does not like and wash those away from your life... Really love her? You will never even think about... for example, in my case that women. Thats what is my opinion regarding your problem as I am no more interested in sleeping or even smiling at my man due some silly third party bitch! GOOD LUCK:-)

Go see a sex therapist. If she won't, then leave her. It's better to be with someone who actually wants to BE with you. OTOH, if you're OK with it, then don't do anything.

Simple, that's called divorce. Sometimes you realize that you just married the wrong person.

You need to excite her biggest sexual organ, her brain. You've heard it several times so far, and I'll say it again, talk to her.

Most women are mentally stressed more than physically. Instead of sitting around waiting for a good time to jump her bones maybe you should do some things around the house to help lighten her load. She too would like to relax before getting into more physical action. Fore play is not just done in bed, try a soft touch/hug through out the day as well as helping out. You'll be surprised what a difference it makes.

Leave her and start a new life with someone that wants you.