He's certainly not being very respectful of you, that's for sure. Is he aware that you know this, or did you just stumble upon it? Either way, I'd talk to him about it. It's not fair to you.

While it's not respectful that he's doing this, I am forced to ask, how do you know what he's saying on the computer/phone? If you're sneaking into his things from lack of trust then I think you both need to reconsider the relationship.

Personal Opinion! I believe that it is cheating, the fact of that you are debating whether it is, means you are feeling very unrespected, and he isn't thinking about you. If he's like this right now, I can only imagine him in a marriage. Relationships have to do with respect. Any emotional connection with another girl, especially an ex-gf who he's already had a relationship with, is easy to re-kindle. The fact of his interest in her life, means he's interested, or slowly becoming interested in her. I'm not trying to put thoughts in your head, but if this was my bf, I'd say, "I love you, and I would never start talking to my ex bf and asking him questions through emails to know if he's "getting any", I don't want to be a controlling gf, but honestly, if this doesn't stop, then I can't do this anymore. You aren't respecting the fact that I don't like it, and it's making me feel uneasy." The thing is, you have chosen to be in this relationship, and you've chosen to give him your time, because you care about him. Don't let him take advantage of that! If he'd rather have a connection to his ex and make time for her, then you need to say goodbye. First, though, approach him about it, and see if he listens. If he doesn't, you know what your gut is telling you is right!

She is pregnant

He is a stupid guy and probably doesn't know that it's a dumb thing to do around you. He probably still cares about her, but only as a good friend. I wouldn't worry. Maybe it's you who needs to trust him more and let him have an innocent male-female relation without jumping to conclusions. I bet that if I were a girl in your situation I would probably be scared too, but I'm a guy and I think your man is innocent.

i belive there is something going on tho i do not how he is or the whole story. it is possible to maintain a relationship with an ex but come on it sounds like they are pretty close from the activity and personal ?s they share. explain and ask him to put him in your shoes and how he would feel about you doing the same thing he is doing with a guy nevermind an ex chances are no . even when people brake apart theirs always still a little conection between them and its easy to start back up .watch your self dont let him fool u .he will propely say anything not to get caught. dont ask him to much ?s but let him explain to you he will eventually get caught up in his lies if he lying.maybe they are just one of the few who can see each other without being more than freinds but not likely etheir way its not fair to you . im not proud but i pulled the same lines and behaviur on my girl with one of my exes and we ended up hooking back up. i denied it up and down sick i know but. we all learn from our mistakes she got revenge of course but i wont go into that it was brutal be prepared for anything.feel out the situation for awile i dont wont to ruin a relationship but i would leave him because it does not sound like a healthy relationship and one thing leads to another and you might find yourself hurt in many ways. this maybe not the case but from my experince and what i have done it does't sound good . asking secrets/argueing/going for walks /chatting is what you guys should be doing not them it sounds like he spends more time with her than you.this coming from a guys point of veiw if i was just this honest before take it as a warning more than a fact.

Either she was a really nasty girlfriend to cause him to act that way, or he's very immature. Tell him to grow up and leave her in the past. It's disrespectful to you if he's asking her if she's "getting any".

Whether he's "cheating" or not is immaterial. Your question, which is more of a rant, already points out that you're not happy with the behavior. You need to sort this out with him and let him know how you feel.