You don't HAVE to do everything for your mother. As much as she wants you to be in a specific position if life, it may not be suitable for you to live in. You may never get used to it. Talk to your mother about it, and tell her how you feel about it.

yes my mother picks and nags at everything i do from the way i walk to the way i eat my broccoli. i could be the first women to become the president of the united states or discover the cure for aids and she still wouldn't be happy

No,I was very fortunate that way. Once I left home she never tried to run my life in any way. She was always there if I needed help or advice but let me discover the world the way I wanted to.

Louboo, It is unfortunate that your mother treats you that way. I have had similar dealings with my own mother and I recognize how difficult it is to handle the situation. I can think of three basic approaches that *might* work. I've tried them with my own mother and had occasional success. The most obvious method is direct communication - Tell her that her constant ordering you around is rude and irritating and that you'd wish she would stop it. Sometimes, if you can find a situation where you can 'turn the tables' and deliberately behave the same way towards her might work as an object lesson. When she gets upset at how you treated her, you point out to her that it's the same way she treats you. Another method I've had some minor success employing involves 'asking the next question' to exhaustion. Example: Mom -- You should get an MBA. Son -- Why do you care whether or not I get an MBA? Mom -- Because it will help your career.... Son -- I like my career as is. Why should I get an MBA? Mom -- Because you'll get a better job with more pay... Son -- I make enough money and don't want a higher-stress job. Don't you think my happiness is more important than how much money I make? Mom -- But Jane's son got an MBA and he's got a Porsche... Son -- I'm NOT Jane's son and I'm happy with my Toyota. Why should I get an MBA just because Jane's son did? ---etc., etc., etc. Eventually, your Mom might begin to understand that she is trying to impose her own wants upon you, rather than being happy for you when you achieve your own wants. Option #3 is the Nuclear Option. You cut off contact with your Mother. State clearly, fairly and honestly why you're doing it, then go away. I've had to do this recently with my own mother and it's hard. But I also found getting my concerns out in the open was quite liberating. Good luck. I hope that you and your mother can find a more satisfying way to relate to each other.

I ignore it... and sometimes do the opposite when it suits me of what she says.

I have been running into this issue lately with my mother. My situation: I am a 31 year old non traditional college student in my junior year. I just waited until I was 28 to go back to school. I started off going to University A while I lived with my parents. I moved back in with them after a stint in the Military, 5 years in Hawaii and a 6 month backpacking excursion in Australia. Now I have transferred to University B, 3 hours away and am pursuing my BBA. I didn't know how prestigious this school was till I got here, but I have learned more about the business world in one class here than my entire time at my previous hometown university. It appears my Mom doesn't understand. When issues of finances falling through (like right now) she always tell me I should have stayed in Kingsville. I reply stating all the reasons why I moved and am actually learning more and finally getting my shit together and being the most focused I have ever been in my life (finally....) She doesn't want to hear it. She is short with me on the phone and is reluctant to help in any way, be it emotionally or financially (something simple as a phone bill). I have become disheartened. This is negativity that I don't need in my life. She used to be so supportive. Now it's different. Plus the fact that I have been diagnosed and am being treated for Schizo-affective disorder, which she has seen me go through a hospital stay already (that's why i ended up back at home to get on my feet) I have had many ups and down in my life and she has seen me through tough times...but this semester has been different...like i said.....too much negativity I don't understand what is going on and am afraid to ask...I will prob be seeing her next week to move back home until the summer session starts and i want to find out what is going on but don't want her staying upset... What should i do? Follow advice here? I try to reason but to no avail....this is all emotions... confused snazzy

At age 38, it's water off a duck's back for me..