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You need counselling, my friend. Because of your past, you are setting yourself up for failure. I know what it feels like- I have done the same thing myself. But it doesn't have to be that way. Go and talk to a professional- a pastor/priest/rabbi or counsellor and see how you can change those negative feelings into positive ones. You know, you sound like a sensitive person to me, just from your question. And you clearly are someone who thinks and who appreciates. These are all good qualities. I really feel that you have the capacity to succeed if you can learn to "throw with the correct hand", if you understand what I mean, if you go with your strengths. Let me know how things go. All the best. (BTW I am a pastor's wife. If you would like my hubby to give you some help by email, just drop us a line. Go to my profile page. Our website is there. You can contact my hub through there. )
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