My boyfriend has a 2 year old daughter by his ex-girlfriend. She calls about this and that and issues with the baby. He and I live together so I tell him that I feel it is disrespectful to me for her to keep calling his cell like that. He disagrees!
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 12
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when theres a baby involved theres always going to be a mom or ex calling. but there should be limits on the phone calls, she might be trying to make you jealous. id just tell him how you feel. And dont let her know its bothering you. or it might get worse..
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You would not truly respect a man that did not fulfill his responsibilities as a father would you? I mean his doting nature to his daughter is probably one of the reasons you fell in love? You should have sat down and discussed the boundaries prior to moving in together. Making sure you understood the expectations and roles. These are very tricky situations. And feelings can get raw, deep and sensitive. I could go on and on, and would LOVE to spend some time having a conversation with you to get more to the point of the issues, because the answer to this will really depend, on certain things. I have been on both sides of this situation so I might be able to offer you some more even advice, not bias from one side or the other. If you feel you would like to contact me and have a conversation through email or IM let me know. You can reach me at nmsillak@shaw.ca
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I disagree with you. My boyfriend has a three year old son, and he speaks to his exwife a lot, but it doesn't bother me. Even if my boyfriend were to leave me to go be with his exwife and son, at least his son would see his father much more often. I care so much about that little boy, and I respect my boyfriend for being as good of a father as he can be, although his son lives in a different country.
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I am in a similar situation except by boyfriend and i recently had a son together. His ex won't leave us alone. He sleeping with her was a huge mistake and he regerets it everyday. She got pregnant even though he wanted nothing to do with her so she could use her daughter to get what she wants. Although he hates his ex he is still a responsible father and pays support as well as sees his daughter almost every wknd except when she denies him access. We actually have a court order for her to stop calling and harassing us. She is always after more money and threatens him by using his kid. We are going to court to stop all this nonsense and since we got a court order for her to stop calling and texting things have improved. Yes parents need to communicate but if she's calling him to piss you off that needs to stop. I agree with you and think it's entirley disrespectful to call you b/f all the time. He needs to tell her to call only if it's about him picking up his daughter or if it's an emergency.
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You are a part of your boyfriends duagther life now . You should explain to your boy friend that it feels disrespectful, but you should ask your self why do you feel that is disrespectful. You ,yourboyfriend and the kids mother should talk about the situation and try to come up with a solution. Because the child need not suffer becuase adults want to react like children
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Have you thought of trying to get to know her? Maybe if you and her had lunch together or something and talked it would help. After all, this woman is not going to go away. She's the mother of your boyfriend's child and it's important that dads stay involved. I speak from experience. I remarried and my ex has a girlfriend who he lives with. My ex even stayed with us at one point when he moved out here to be closer to our daughter, who is 14. I even took my ex and his girl on family vacation. Trust me, it's better if everyone puts whatever feelings they have aside and get along. The kids really appreciate it. And my daughter loves her dad's girlfriend. If you're more involved and agreeable, your boyfriend and his child will appreciate it in the long run.
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Wow the biggest point answer is kind of harsh. Yes if he is a man he will take of his daughter, however if the ex calls about every little this and that then I think your point is leggit. If the phone calls are to set up visits, the child is ill, or even money for things the child needs then those are important issues that need to be discussed. You know of course he is missing out on alot of milestones in the childs life due to her age should she call about those? Grey area there they could maybe discussed when the next visit occurs. BUT if she calls like a wife would call a husband do you know what your daughter did or things of that nature then she is being intrusive and those types of calls should be nixed. And if these are some of the calls he is recieving she may just be trying to annoy you. And on a final note unless an emergency could these calls be made at other times so you don't feel intruded upon? A relationship is two way respect as much as you must repect his fatherly duties he could possibly have the ex tone down the calls while he is at home with you. hurtzsogood
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It's quite simple. His child is the number one priority in his life if he is any type of man at all, so its important to keep contact with his ex about his child. Its not like he is sleeping with her or anything.
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I wouldnt mind her calling for important things like ,baby, sick, money wise but her calling every day. or more than 3 times a day yes i be mad, especially if she be calling late at night,, maybe she is still not ready to let him go, and uses teh baby as an excuse.. trust me ..I've been there and done that... so try to get to know her, if she dont want to get to know you, that may be a bad sign , that she stil wants her man.. back.. thats what i think...
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Sounds like they both have responsibility for the child. You've got to suck it up or move on.
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And so he should.! Responsibility of a child should be shared equally between parents.
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There is one thing ALL (extremely stress all) women that are dating a man, should remember, is that a child ALWAYS COMES BEFORE ANYBODY in ranking of importance. Don't get jealous if your boyfriend spends more time than you with his son/daughter; it's only natural and right. Besides, what kind of father would he be if he didn't have some kind of connection with his ex-wife. Women in general often get very jealous of her boyfriend's relationship with his son/duaghter, thus not knowing how to handle it (women are extremely emotional & irrantional). It is definatley not disrespectful to call his ex-wife.
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