To me it sounds like she's still maintaining the relationship but on a different level. Maybe she's just needing a little space. If she was totally against a relationship, Im guessing she'd not call you again or treat you so well. Maintain status quo and be there for her. Who knows what will happen in the future. I wish you the best of luck :)

LOL...YOU answered your own question beautifully! "She doesn't want a relationship RIGHT NOW." She is wisely choosing to keep those deeper emotions under lock an key to heal, and explorer what she DOES WANT for her future! This is a great thing, because it means she is REFINING and defining what behaviors, personalities, and feelings she wishes to expose herself to the next time she feels attracted to someone. This is a big benefit to YOU, because she obviously values YOUR friendship, and it gives YOU a chance, realizing I rather assume that you are attracted to her, what qualities OVER ALL YOU would want in a closer relationship. No one is perfect! In every relationship we create there will be SOME qualities we all wish the "other person" didn't have. THE TRICK is to learn what qualities are most important to us and what ones, we can truly over look that annoy us, so that we can create healthy, happy, loving relationships where both people support the important goals of the other, strive to meet COMMON goals we share, love fully and have lots of fun together no matter what life throws at us! I'd say you have a good or better a spot now than most other people...you are truly working on a solid FRIENDSHIP...and THAT IS the best foundation to create to move towards learning how to best love.

Run and run fast. She is using you for what she needs and you don't get what you want. Does that sound like a fair assesment? Women don't turn around and change their minds and start dating their friends. Plus that not wanting to be in a relationship right now bit is priceless. If a girl/woman finds someone they like in a romantic sense they don't pull the plug on it just because the timing isn't right. Seriously don't buy into that trap, she will get exactly what she wants and you will watch her continue to flounder in relationships which will only cause you misery. If she can't see your the right guy, right now she never will. Don't believe in the hollywood ending "Best Friends Wedding" crap. Good Luck, I know I am cynical but that doesn't make me wrong.

she probably won't consider one. Chances are she's filling a void being that she is no longer in a relationship, doesn't want to be in one with you but calls because she misses having someone to talk to all the time. Sorry man.

i dont think she will ever give it another go, reason why she wants to stay friends is she dusnt want to make thing complicated between u, second reason shez feeling lonely plus shez not losing out in anything!

I can relate as I was in the same boat not too long ago. In my situation there was alot of attraction (a little messin' around) but she clearly stated she is not ready for a relationship. Trust me, she is using you to fill a void until she moves on to find someone else EVEN though she tells you different. Its will drive you nuts if you keep on pursuing and remain friends. DO yourself a favor and find someone who is willing to spend time with you and satisfy your needs instead of being in the 'friend zone'. Role on..

I been there b4!! Honestly what she is saying is that she just wants 2 F**K! If she is really feeling u and she is always calling but doesnt want ties then she just wants sex!! But I could be wrong, maybe she needs time to heal from her past relationship but still wants u around!

As a woman, I can tell you honestly: there is a window for sex and it closes when we say to a man, "not now." You have two choices, my friend: (1) accept friendship w/no hopes of booty call or (2) be pleasantly surprised by the booty call. Please don't make yourself TOO available to listen to her breakup insecurities...or you'll just become "one of the girls." --Max--

There's a serious lack of information going on in here in order for anyone to answer this question all that well. Mainly considering that she calls all the time, as in how often? And as "a friend, and quite a close one", as in what kind of a close friend? Other than that, I don't think you've got good news coming your way. The fact that you're here asking about this already tells me that you've got a certain uncertain feeling about this situation. It usually happens for a reason, and alas, that is the case here too. When a girl says she doesn't want a relationship right now, and states a reason (of which by far the most common is "I just got out of a relationship"), she's talking in a secret language only meant for women to understand. I call it womanese, you call it whatever you want. This lingo is quite elusive and most men fail to understand the true meanings behind the plain sentences. In this case, she's saying nothing more than "sorry, I'm not interested in you". Now, if someone who would pique her interest and stir feelings of attraction was to come along, let me tell you, her time of not wanting a relationship would come to an abrupt end. Why women talk like this, I've found out that it's mostly because they don't want to hurt the male ego, or break your heart. They don't want to have their consciense knocking after seeing you go down in flames, simply because especially for attractive women, it would happen all too often. Now, you should never say never, but what I'm going to say here is that you have marginal to nonexistent chances for a relationship here; better not to waste your time and just find someone else. What is happening here is that you're now under her "friends"-category, and that's a category you really don't come out of, unless by some peculiar event and a statistical nightmare. People say that a friendship is the best base for a relationship, and that is true; that's why you date before settling into a relationship. The ones who say that you should first spend a couple of years as her best friend before trying to date her, forget that. These people are the ones who never had the guts to go and ask her out in fear of rejection. So in case you want a relationship with this girl, you aren't her psychologist. Girls value these psychologists way too much to let it slip into a relationship and endanger the whole existence of a personal psychologist with it; they'll find other guys to play around with. So, get on with it and go date some new girls, get some new phone numbers and forget this one! The world is filled with pretty and smart women, you don't want to be hung up on a single one.

Try and get her in bed as quickly as possible?

im in that boat right now. this girl and i have fooled around alot but she says she doesnt want a reltionship right now because of a recent break up. i see her chilling with other guys but i dont no if shes messing with them to. she puts on an innocent play so u think shes clean when shes not. i have no idea what to do, right now i just fool around with her but i want more.

Wow, tough one. I can only speak from personal experience. I was good friends with a guy for years who I never thought of dating. I went out with all kinds of losers, and got into some really nasty situations, and he was there to support me. Then one day something clicked! He was the guy I'm supposed to be with, and now we've spent four incredibly happy years together and are getting married in January. Sometimes good things really do just take time....

K this is my story, I knew this girl from the Yukon, only met her maybe 3 times, I moved to BC, she rencently moved here, I contacted her, met up with her friday, had a great time, driking etc. that night she was saying how she does not want a relationship, just needs friends, blah blah.. then saturday we hang out again, drinking,, by the end of the night we are making out for 2 hours, but during it she is still saying she feels bad cause she doesnt want a relationship, but she is loving the kissiing so much, and says if she does want one im first on her list, blah blah, but we had such a good time, im thinking she does want one now, but I dont know what she thinks and I its been a full day i didnt talk to her, wat should i Do,

If you are friends, then you have a relationship already. Be happy with what you have and don't try to push her into something she doesn't want.

No. She's a little fickle one isn't she there? Throw her away.

Hey man, alright, I too am in the same boat. Yeah, it sucks. I really really liked this girl, and took her to a dance (homecoming). We danced to the song "All of the People", and everytime the singer said "I can't keep my eyes off of you..." we would find ourselves staring into each others eyes :) However, I txted her after and said that I had so much fun, etc. and that I missed her already, and couldn't believe that it was over, and that i didn't want it to be over. I was shocked that she texted me back saying "Hey, your a really great guy, but truly, I just want to be friends" So im reading this thread right now, because I also do not know what to do. All of my friends are saying that its all gonna be okay, but I don't know what to think at this point.

this girl who i have liked for a long time now told me she didnt know what she wants in life. i told her i liked her and thats what she said. idk what to do now we r really good friends i think and she txt me every day. but sometimes i get the feeling that she doesnt care at all not even as friends. idk what to do

it simply means that she just doesnt want a relationship right then. She needs time to reflect on herself and see her errors and evaluate what she really wants in a guy. If shes talking to you still and you are good friends, then shes probably considering going out with you when shes ready. Odds are shes not ready to risk getting hurt again if shes been hurt before. Im in a similar situation with a guy I'd love to have a relationship with but the timing just isnt right and we talk every day just about. Its just awesome to have a guy friend who's that close that will talk to you and actualy listen to you...

I just told a guy that I like a lot that I don't want a relationship. I just broke up with a guy I dated for 5 years and don't want to use this new guy as a rebound...ya know find out if I really like him first. I feel like it is a sign she wants to get to know you better and if you are persistant. This guy is about to get lucky b/c he has been persistant and I do like him!

No she will just right know she needs a break. Sometimes as much as guys they get tired of stupid realtionships that aren't taking serious. Or sometimes they dont want serious realtionships and just wants to have fun. But she will sometime consider a realtionship she just needs time

i would still be there but not 100% i think she needs to miss you and see what it's like w/out you. she might need some time to evaluate things. i just went through something like this, i kind of let her go though. she had told me the same thing "i just dont think i want to be in a serious relationship right now". after she had told me that, before we split. she had ignored me at her friends party, a lot of times i felt like i was on standby for her. whenever she wanted me, i would be there. this make's any guy feel like trash if you ask me. so that's basically why i broke it off. we still talk but i feel like she doesnt respect me, she's kinda selfrighteous and gives a lot of unwanted/unasked criticism. i guess this almost another question.. :) what do you ladies/guys think??

I'm a woman in a similar situation. I just moved to a new city, started grad school and ended a whirlwind episode of dating. There's a wonderful guy in my program who pursued me right off the bat but I'm honestly not ready for a relationship. Part of it is because I'm not sure I want him, part of it is because I really need to work on myself (get back in the habit of studying, work out anxieties from past relationships, etc.) before I can love another person. He handled it very respectfully. And I still talk to him a lot as a friend. So the door isn't closed because he demonstrated he actually cares. But trust your intuition. If you feel that she's taking advantage of your understanding, or might harbor other reasons for not wanting to be with you, then don't be afraid to confront her. You deserve respect as well.

That's a tough situation, but I think RedHawk nailed it. I have a similar story where I was told she wasn't ready for a serious relationship and now she's in one with someone else just a few months later. However, despite what common sense and the majority of people say, I haven't given up hope. Why? Because I'm viewing this as a gift to really get to know her and to show her that I value her for just her. Granted, she's still with the new one but I suspect she's working out some of her own issues while with this new person rather than continuing to subject me to being hurt with her bullsh*t. I feel badly for her new person b/c a) she keeps flirting with me b) she keeps trying to kiss me - to which I tell her no c) she repeatedly says that the new relationship isn't one that will last and d) she doesn't feel the new person is worthy enough for me even to know a first name. As a result of maintaining our friendship (granted, after months of struggles and space) I've learned that frankly I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her now b/c of the way she's treating her new one. She needs time to grow up and work out her issues. And in the meantime, we can continue to grow closer as friends (but with no ulterior motives.) In time, we may wind up together as lovers again. But if not, at least we're good friends. A frankly, those are much better odds in opening up any chance at a healthy relationship where we are both ready again.

OK, I have a similar situation to this. A "friend" who I have known through my previous employer, probably the hottest woman from this office by the way and always got hit on, has confided in me to be the one she talks to about my marriage that just disolved and her relationship that just ended. She texted me the other day and invited me to go away with her for the coming weekend. We talked about the details and she mentioned that she had rented a room, and asked if I would be comfortable staying with her there. Of course I told her yes, and she said, well cause you know I dont want there to be any pressure since youre one of my friends. Talk about a brick wall. Im thinking, why invite me to go to a city that is 500 miles away, on one of the best drives up the california coast, stay in the same room and then throw the friend card at me? Am I reading too much into this? Is she just suggesting this to me to make me think that nothing would happen? FYI, there has been flirting........