by 
eddie1
ANSWERS: 3
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My advice is to find out what it is exactly that is so offensive about the best friend to the partner. I'd do it in a non-accusatory way and with an open mind. Maybe the friend did something that turned the partner off.
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Decide which one is the most important. Generally this should be your partner, to whom you are committed. If you feel more committed to your freind, as in having a new partner, then maybe you should consider trusting the judgement of your best freind. It really depends on who is truely more improtant in your life. Some may say that you should divide your time, keep them apart etc., this will however not work in the long term and lasting conflict will be the result if you do not resolve this soon. In my case my partner is my best friend and that is the best solution to avoid this type of conflict in ones life.
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You could say...."Lighten up. You're my partner...she (he) is my friend. You two don't have to spend time together. And neither of you is allowed to say something bad about the other in my presence. OK?" Keep them apart..and don't bring them up in conversation...until you figure out the 'why' in all this.
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