don't love anyone (problem solved)

When that happens to me, I usually give them time. Eventually they will work it out and then be able to talk with you.

It's like you're describing me. I do this.. constantly. I can't help it. When I'm upset at my S/O it's really hard for me to talk to HIM about it. I could talk to someone else about it, but I can't talk to him about it at first. Some of my reasons for being this way are that if I tell him then maybe he'll think I'm overreacting, or maybe I'm afraid of what he might say to what I'm upset about, maybe I already basically have an idea of what he's going to say so I don't see the point in telling him and having my assumption be correct. Having confirmation of what you're upset about is scary. Even if there's a sense of relief after you talk about it. I always feel some relief after I get some stuff off my shoulders... but getting to the point where I feel like I can talk is really hard. I want to talk about it so bad.. just it's hard. I'm waiting for the right time, for him to say the right thing that can trigger me to be able to respond and talk about it. I want him to guess and bring it up so I can more easily talk about it. Giving up on asking what's wrong isn't what works for me.. I don't need time. I just need to be constantly nagged and given openings to talk about it cause it's really hard to bring it up on my own.

i mostly just ignore it.

Pfff...I do that usually if it is something serious until I feel I am calm enough to have a conversation. What people shouldn't to then is tell me something like " well, whatever, call me when you want to talk, until then I have my own issues"...it just goes to show they don't care. They should say something like " I know you are upset and I hope you'll talk to me soon"...

First thing? I lose my appetite +5

Just go about doing whatever, I guess. This sounds like a time heals all wounds sort of thing.

I personally? Nothing. I back off and wait. It's not my call, it is his/hers. I'm not a mind reader and if the person remains upset and I don't have a clue why, eventually I get annoyed and then I don't care any more. I don't like playing games. I don't expect people to read my mind...if I have a problem with a loved one I say so right away. I'm not one of those people who say "well, if you loved me you'd know why I was upset". Boy that is a big turnoff to me. :)

I think that best thing you can do is wait and give them space to think about what is going on. You just need to let them think it over and offer your support so they know that you are there if they want you, and that you always will be. Good luck. +5

Been married to one for over twenty years and I have no idea - have tried every thing I could think of. I've got one foot out the door.

My response would likely be, "No talk, I walk."

If they need that kind of space, I give it to them, for several days.

I don't think I'd be able to put up with this for too long anymore. My last boyfriend would do this and the lack of communication on his part would bother me to no end. Open communication is very important to me. If a guy isn't comfortable enough to be open with me, we probably shouldn't be together in the first place.