It's bullsh*t. Everyone says what they mean. They just say it to your face and louder when they are mad.

Anger is a real feeling, but fortunately it is usually only a temporary feeling. Sometimes we give in to it and then we are left with other feelings, like guilt and remorse. Go with those last feelings and apologise to the person you told off.

Sometimes words can hit harder and leave a deeper "scar" than a fist. Words leave a much longer impression. Be careful what you say in anger. You know if they were "real" words by the feelings you get when saying them.

well at least for me , i have stated a lot of mean hurtfull words , but at the time i was so inraged , i couldnt think rationaly, so for me id say it depends on the person , and what the fight was all about and if it is possible to forgive and forget and then make up , the id say yes.

Probably depends on if you think you might have really hurt the person some way. If you went over the top, you should maybe say something reconciliatory to them at some point.

I just did that, and he knows I was angry and rightly so. They were also my real feelings. I left for the store and my husband was with my autistic son. I came home in 5 minutes. He had a cigarette standing straight up on the counter like a smokestack, and it was lit. He was on the phone. My son actually knows netter than to touch it. But for one, I don't take chances like that, and for 2 We do not smoke in the house. I know he was right in the garage and heard the phone and put it there, but it is stupid, no matter how you look at it.

First of all, "anger" is not a genuine feeling, but a mask for fear or frustration. Babies are born with only Joy, fear, and frustration. All the "feelings" we develop after are a result of our response to what the world does to us. So, when someone behaves as you describe, 'anger' is not the real origin of what they are feeling. There is more underneath. If the person is angry with you, if their remark (or yours) was part of your interaction with them... well yeah, we all get lit up, passionate or enraged by things now and then, say something we wish we hadn't... let our feelings run away with us, but it does deserve a sincere apology and not just a worn out excuse. If YOU did the "telling off", then anger is not really a so great reason for loosing control and being immature. We all have to take a little more responsibility than that if we expect to have relationships that have real meaning. If it was someone else, i would certainly challenge them on using such an excuse, but if the person is valuable to you, go easy. Accept what they say as true for them, but at the same time there is nothing wrong with making it clear that you aren't here for them to vent their frustrations on, or to be their punching bag. People are taught how to treat us BY US. What we allow is often exactly what we get. Once you assert your right NOT to just take everything you are handed, NOT to accept a lame excuse for being dumped on, well, You begin to show others just what you expect, what they can get away with and what they can't and more of how you expect to be treated in the future. That thing your mother might have told you ... "Count to 3 before you speak"...? Well, i happen to think it's a great idea. It can often keep us from opening our mouths long enough to insert a foot... or both. Gentle thoughts...