Maybe your not the same women he married.do you still look the same as your wedding day?

...Maybe he's found someone else?

Talk to him.

At this stage, I wouldn't read too much into his behaviour. It's normal for couples to go through "down" periods, where one or both people may seem or be distant. Everyone needs personal space, and time away. In regards to not wanting to make love to you, once again, I would say that that is fairly normal. You, yourself, said that during those times when your husband instigated sex with you, you didn't really want to do it. He's probably feeling the same, but is more vocal about it. I know it can be hurtful, and feel like rejection when our partner "isn't in the mood", but try to understand that he probably really just is not in the mood, and that it in no way reflects upon how he feels about you or who you are. If you feel that these problems run deeper than what I have assessed, try talking to him. We can only really offer you a limited amount of help - the real work has to be done by you. Voice your fears and concerns to him, but try to not to become overly emotional or start accusing him of anything. Try to be calm, mature and rational. Explain to him that you love him very much, and that you are troubled by what has happened, especially that you have stopped saying "I love you" to each other. I really do wish you the best of luck.

Eek.

who cares if you look the same as you did on your wedding day? lame. so often, when there is an issue in the bedroom, we look for answers in the bedroom. we should be looking somewhere else. things at work? money issues? new baby? in- laws visiting? could be anything. ask. i wouldn't bring up what you did when you didn't want to or how many times who initiated what with whom. just let him know you're concerned.