By the sounds of it, you have been through the mill as far as men go. It's very hard not to assume everyone the same when you have never really seen anything to suggest they do act any different to what you have experienced. I wouldn't say you are scared of men, but scared of becoming involved with men because you fear the pain they could potentially cause. The best thing I could advise it to get more male friends. Male friends are a great way to see what men are really like without the whole emotional pressure. Men are not the same in anything but their anatomy. It's useful to remember that. Maybe you should view people as 'people', not men and women. Women can be just as bad.

I've been hurt a lot by guys too and I always thought poorly of them. So, now when I meet guys I have a tendency to just stay friends with them and it made me see that not ALL guys are rotten. There are nice guys out there. I think it's hard to see how good someone is if you're not friends with them first.

All men are not the same. Maybe the way you are choosing men is the problem. You need to find men who have the same values you do. If they don't have, you are bound to have problems down the road - understanding each other, respecting each other's ideas and goals, developing and maintaining trust, or even appreciating each other's sense of humor. Decide what it is you value and what direction you want to go, and you will discover men who are on that same path.

I really respect this question, Kiki. If you are asking about crummy men and why you seem to be a magnet for them, then it shows you realize something is wrong and are taking steps to try and end that cycle. A lot of women realize that they need to change, but don't want to change anything to get there. I am by no means an expert, but, have you tried new places to meet men? Most people size up the men they work with pretty quick, and bars are usually NOT a high percentage place to find decent guys, (and I'm not saying thats where you've been looking, just giving an example). Sometimes your friends can fix you up with a decent guy. If you have kids, sometimes you can meet decent single Dads at children's functions. A bowling league may be a place, or a church, (because you can associate with people for some time before forming an opinion). But, do remember, that just because it's a church, doesn't mean a man is automatically decent. A few of the worst men , (relationship-wise), that I've ever known, were regular church-goers. And, please don't think I am slamming church-going men, because I am one myself. I know this is a long answer, but I'm just saying that sometimes, if you try shopping at different stores (so to speak), you may be pleasantly surprised.

well.... although everyone gets hurt @ one point of time & we women all have the tendancy to think that all men are no good! but you wouldn't know how that indivisual is until you really get to know that person 4 them. but all i can say is the next relationship you get in just try not 2 put your all into some one unless you know that it is REAL!