- NEW!
by nucleotideboy on July 3rd, 2009
"And if you look out of the front window you can see the Twin Towers. Allahu Akbar!"
by Dodgy Dog in a Sable COAT on July 3rd, 2009
On a twin engine plane:
Ladies and Gentlemen, we've lost one engine so now instead of getting to our destination in 2 hours, it will take 4.
5 minutes later: Sorry folks, now we've lost the second engine so the new flying time will be ........
by Anonymous on July 3rd, 2009
Woops!
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on July 4th, 2009
I am serious... and don't call me shirly
by Jazz-Man on July 3rd, 2009
heya im paris hilton and ill be your captain for this flight
by Marky Mark on July 3rd, 2009
"This is your captain speaking. Please remain calm. Is there a airplane mechanic onboard...nevermind! Geronimo!!"
by Roadapple Cider on July 3rd, 2009
Oh bother, feather the damn thing!
The pilot just passed out and the co-pilot is hung over.
Do you think we have enough fuel to make it to the airport or will we have to ditch in the ocean?
I hate the smell of electrical wires burning.
by Sid on July 3rd, 2009
"What the f*** are all these levers and buttons for? and where's that bint with me booze?"
by jtolb65 on July 3rd, 2009
...but I thought YOU fueled up before we left...
or
Will someone PLEASE tell me what that flashing light is over there, and turn off that damned alarm!
or
My wife left me, my kids hate me, I'm gonna get fired for being drunk on the job again and now you're telling me I have to fly this tub into Newark Int'l??? Oh hell no! If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me.
by BigDaddyBS on July 3rd, 2009
Oh, SH-T!
Did you see that light? It hovered right outside my window, then took off straight up!
*RALPH* Oops!
I'll be right back. I've gotta get a dose. Do you have the needle and spoon?
Tower? This is the stewardess. The flight crew is down! Can you talk me in?
by jin jang on July 3rd, 2009
"please prepare for a soft landing" while flying over the middle of the pacific ocean.
by Over and Out on July 3rd, 2009
Announcement ... "Good Morning this is your Captain. Just wondering ... Has anyone ever landed a plane before? No rush, I can't find the runway yet."
by call me Kat on July 3rd, 2009
"Is this supposed to come off?"
by dead leaves raked in a pile on July 3rd, 2009
You had the fish too??
by Scrappy on July 3rd, 2009
oh no there goes the last engine
by MrJosh on July 3rd, 2009
Uh, what do we do now?
by Bookworm on July 3rd, 2009
Now where is that darn runway.
by Certified on July 3rd, 2009
Anyone seen where i put my mushroom stash?
by vera city on July 3rd, 2009
uh, oh...
by Anonymousdummy on October 7th, 2009
Bang!Bang! especially if its a 2 pilot airplane!
by cincyaviation on August 13th, 2009
(over atlantic ocean)
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, So thaaaaats where the fuel dump switch is...
by Omar Little on July 4th, 2009
This.
by Aaron wears a COAT of Fantasy on July 4th, 2009
"Folks, don't panic, but it seems we're out of fuel... We were supposed to fill up before take off but me and my co-pilot had a bet on how long we'd last on just a gallon... Also; this airplane recently had some renovations including installation of new seats... But there's a problem; they forgot the seat belts... Again folks; don't panic, because nothing can be done as we fall to the ground..."
O.o of course; hearing the pilot having sex with the female flight attendant could also be weird...
Hope this helps... :D
by halfbubble on July 4th, 2009
Boy, I'm sure glad I packed my parachute!!!
by Piggle on July 4th, 2009
Ladies and Gentlemen, please assume the brace position....
by Sympho de Proggy on July 4th, 2009
ooooh, what does this button do ?
by Someguy on July 4th, 2009
Hmmm. I wonder what that flashing light means.
OR
I thought YOU knew how to land the plane!
OR
I hate when I'm running late and have to chug my last beer before getting on the plane.
OR
I bet you $10 I can land this thing without putting the wheels down!
by Darth NANAME on July 4th, 2009
...The hell does that light mean?
by PrivateGomerSpooner on July 4th, 2009
Captain:-
And if you all look out the windows on the left side of the airplane, you will see an orange coloured inflatable in the ocean. That's where I'm talking to you from.
by Rinky Dinky Do on July 4th, 2009
We're going down!
by Big Purple Blob in a rainCOAT on July 4th, 2009
"Oh, look over there, it's my buddy Jack." (Waves, yells frantically) "HI JACK!"
by calicorey on July 3rd, 2009
And what are these levers for again...?
by TERRYTUKER on July 3rd, 2009
where we going again
by Mr. Knowitall- The Poli Sci Guy on July 3rd, 2009
this is your captain speaking, judging by the looks of things we appear to have lost a wing, please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened
by Allison on July 3rd, 2009
To steal a line from my favorite movie... "Houston, we have a problem!"
by Bowen on July 3rd, 2009
"Is that supposed to be on fire?"
by mom3b on July 3rd, 2009
"Good Evening! This is your Captain! I would like to welcome you aboard! Also, I like beer."
by LarryH54 on July 3rd, 2009
Is there a doctor on this flight?
by nutmegcollector on July 3rd, 2009
May Day, May Day!
by FutureMarine95 on July 6th, 2009
excuse me sirs and mams but the pilot has just stepped out for a sec.
by Audiotron on July 6th, 2009
(over the intercom)
" The low fuel light is on Frank! The low fuel light is on Frank! We are all going to die! We can't stay in the air without fuel!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaa! Oh, wait. That is the intercom light."
by raylrodr on July 6th, 2009
Your turn! Spank my monkey now.....!
by miteb on July 5th, 2009
Is there a pilot in the passenger section?
by That Guy Again on July 5th, 2009
Anybody know what this button does?
by mrk2k4 on July 24th, 2009
Um this is your pilot speaking, Gosh you guys are gonna hate me for this...
OH F*%K NO!!!
by KiwiBruce on July 24th, 2009
YO! Where's the vodka!
by Anonymousdummy on October 7th, 2009
Women voice: OH GOD!OH GOD! OH GOD!OH GOD! were almost there!!!!
by michaelbaker on October 7th, 2009
Hey Tim, let's see how close I can fly this thing to those mountains.
by Anonymous on July 26th, 2009
and if you look out to your right were all going to die. ide be excited cuz i get those mask thingies that make u high on oxygen. best death you can ask for.
by KevinW42 on July 26th, 2009
What the hell is with this clock? It only goes up to ten! Are we on metric time or something? Oh, and look at this, now it's going backwards, and rather quickly at that.
Why are more modern aircraft including Boeing 747 jumbo aircraft having more controls managed by computer or fly-by-wire? Is it safe?
by NiCkIzBacK on June 8th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Has radar technology in commercial aircraft really become more advanced or changed much in technical terms over the last 30 years?
by NiCkIzBacK on June 8th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Can you say that you have gone up in more airplanes than you have come down in? I can!
by Texaspete on June 30th, 2011
| 3 people like this
Do you get aired when you're on the scareplane?
by Andy B has left AB on October 13th, 2011
| 3 people like this
What would you do if there was a sleeping baby on your plane and you haven't cried for 2 days?
by Andy B has left AB on October 13th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
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Comments
Love it! Your answer that is not the actually event!
by Anonymousdummy on October 7th, 2009