Have you phoned the police? Is she aware of the availability of shelters? Unfortunately, there is a limit to what you can do to help an adult who won't help themselves. Seems like you're probably trying the reasonable things -- being supportive, pointing out that she's responsible for her own life, etc.

Oy vey! If I were you I would shut my door, call the cops and have both of them hauled away. I might also call adult protective services, and get them involved. Ultimitly, you may have to just shut her out for the sake of your sanity..Good luck!

if you don't do anything it won't ever get better. i a man so i would take care of it my self as i have in the past since 10 or 11 years old. i came from a violent household not quite what you r probably thinking my dad was a jobless womanizeing drunk,scottish and very big. my mother was tiny and italian hard working angel but she smacked the crap out of my father when he came home after his usual 2 or 3 day binge.he never lifted a finger towards my mother or us when i was 11 she threw him out of the house and me my younger brother and a bunch of my little rascal friends made sure he never came back.so i have this hard to explain gift i guess you can call it i cannot and will not stan for any man to lay a finger on any lady. since im not there i would get the police involved this s/o sounds typical he'll probably be drunk and resist the cops its only a tempy fix but it'll be on record ,with the cops involved he won't have to many chances before he gets in big trouble then she can move on..or i probably not the only man the would put a scare into this punk, so ask around guys like me know we would be doing the right thing by handeling it the old fashion way.. i hope you and your friend find someway to put a stop to this animal.. bye for now jim

You are in the unenviable position of being the marriage and family therapist and counselor who is not in a position to help, apart from listening. Explain to your neighbour that you are being put under considerable psychological pressure because you feel helpless, perhaps even guilty, for not being able to help. Suggest they contact the right people for help because wife beating is rarely, if ever getting better by itself. If you really want to do something you might even ask the police on behalf of your neighbour what possible avenues there are open to them. Good luck.

Had the same situation about 20 years ago. I too took her in but I always called the police, this man was well known to them. He had guns in the house and had actually shot his eldest son in the leg before I moved in. Then one wonderful day his alcohol and pain medicine abuse kicked in and put him in a wheel chair. His wife got her revenge without leaving a bruise. She left him then. Helpless and alone,hurting. just like she had felt all those years. best law ever written was that wife no longer need to testify. Cops are my heros. They hate these type of calls more than any others.

ignore her, blow her off, and stay far away. she doesn't care about her safety and certainly not yours.

I would call the cops. Period. She goes back, then she is not welcome in my home. I don't need the drama of some victim who won't change.

Don't engage her. She is within your circle of concern, but not in your circle of influence. You can tell your you feel for her and worry for her but that's it. Don't listen to it anymore an dget some information about battered women and give it to her. There is nothing youcan do so you need to remove yourself. If she were a family membner of something maybe you could be more concerned, but you can't. And if she has kids, that is not your concern ether. A lot of peple get involved becaseu they think they are helping the kids but they are not.

After the second time (I'd give her the benefit of the doubt on the first) I'd refuse to get involved any more. What she's doing not only puts a psychological strain on you (wanting to help and being completely powerless to do so), but puts you in potential physical danger as well. That is, danger from not only him, but BOTH OF THEM. There's a reason why cops find these their most dangerous calls. When they try to confront the abuser, something in the victim's psyche often kicks in, "recognizes" the cops as a threat to the "family unit", and can make the victim side with the abuser in attacking the cops. Inexperienced cops are often blindsided by this, even though (I think) their training teaches them to be aware of the possibility. It's just so foreign to our "normal" way of thinking, that we have no expectation of it. Typical scenario might be: Two cops come to the door of the complaint dwelling, and one takes the victim to a safer area nearby while the other confronts the abuser. If that confrontation threatens to turn violent and there are no additional cops, then the first turns his back on the victim (since she -- usually "she") is now "safe" and turns to aid his partner. If the violence escalates, one or both of the cops may find themselves attacked from behind ... by the nominal victim, who is now freakishly reunited with her abuser in a common defense against the police. You don't want to be in this position! The best you can do for this woman is to call the police yourself, anonymously if you can. For your own (and your family's) sake, you should refuse to engage her further if she won't take positive steps to remove herself from the situation. Because she is obviously unable to resolve it "from within".

i would just continue to call the cops, and tell her if she doesnt want help then to keep you out of it

Keep calling the cops and dont let her over anymore unless she leaves him

First off I would call the police for her and be very careful. He just might start beating on you next. He is a dangerous man and you need to get her as far away from him as possible. Get her into a support group with other women who have been through the same situation. Its only a matter of time until he hurts her real bad, and she needs to realize that as soon as possible.

If you care about her safety, and you obviously do since you continue to help her, you need to continue to try to convince her to leave him. Then she needs to seek protection like a restraining order. Then she needs counseling. She is suffering from battered woman's syndrome. One of the reasons she returns to him is that even though she may not like being battered, she is more comfortable with that (because she knows how to handle it) than the idea of having to fend for herself or just moving into a new situation. One step at a time. Don't give up on her.

This is very bad advice, but if I were in your position, I would have very little patience with the situation. The first few times I'd knock on the door and politely as the two combatants to keep thier fight from entering my apartment. The third time I'd break his hands, and then explain the need for quiet, non-violent resolutions to problems. Morally ambiguos? Yes. I grew up with that sort of thing, and I found out unfortunately that sometimes, answering violence with violence works.

Call the police.

I would still report what happened to the police. I am sure the police would take action and give a warning to that man even though she goes back to him. +3

Get yourself a court order against both of them, he's a dangerous ass hole and she's an enabling bitch .. Sometimes you have to force the hands involved into doing what needs be done and the sharp knife cuts the quickest and the cleanest, this has been going on for a very very long time it's time to end it as you are doing neither party a favor and may be helping to continue it and making it more dangerous for all involved incliding your self your family and your friends ... ~Nemo~