I forgave someone that hurt me a long time ago. I had a lot of hate in my heart and it was effecting me really bad mentally and socially. I didnt forgive him to is face but in my own heart. I dont carry around hate anymore and I feel much better about myself because of that.

yes, my stepfather was very abusive. It is not a question of forgiving, but I am past it and I refuse to let it affect my life in any way...it's over.

No I can not, will not and have no wish to try to forgive. The crime was too evil. it was not against me as such but against mine. Only God could forgive and I hope he does not Sorry, I am not a bitter person, just on this subject.

Yes, my first husband physically, mentally and sexually abused me for six years....that was 25 years ago and I HAD to forgive him so that I could "move on" and be happy. The forgiveness was for me, because to not forgive gave him the power over me still...I was still HIS VICTIM, and it was SUCH a release, totally to strip him of that privilege (which he enjoyed alot since we had kids and he still had contact w/me)

I label people for what they are - then move on.

I was sexually molested in 9th grade by three boys multiple times. I told the teacher, who did nothing, I later learned HE was molesting kids in the class as well. This was a metal shop class, I was the only girl. He had molested one of the boys who TOLD and was disbelieved! (He was much beloved by his students too as a "good guy.") He also proposed getting together with me at one point, sharing that his wife had MS and wanted to know if I might help him out.."she can't perform her WIFELY DUTIES." My parent's had talked to me about sex, but never had I heard the term WIFELY DUTIES before...I thought he wanted help around the house, laundry, dusting, cooking...and told him I'd have to ask my Dad to drive me over, but that I thought under the circumstances it would be ok with my parents!...He quickly said, "OHH, you are too kind, but don't ask your folks or tell them about my troubles, your Dad works hard all week long, I can't ask him to take time to drive you over to our house on Saturdays too...I've asked too much here, I can see that now, don't even worry about it." PRETTY SMOOTH HUH! When I tried to speak to my school counselor about the BOYS...she interrupted me before I could tell her saying..."You know this is the first year we've allowed GIRLS to take SHOP CLASSES, if you have a problem you can't handle with the other students...we may just need to stop the program altogether." I didn't want to be the cause of it failing, so I didn't tell her. I did get adult counseling, off and on, it helped some. I finally did write the Unified School District about this about 18 months ago...I'VE NEVER HEARD BACK FROM THEM at all, although I did receive the Signed Return Receipt Requested post card back..so I know they got my letter. It would be nice to hear something from THEM, but even just TELLING SOMEONE connected to the school system...made me feel much better. I also had an abusive Ex...moving over 3000 miles away, and being in a healthy, loving relationship now...with a great family that loves me is a lovely closure to THAT pain in the butt!

I found I had to forgive and train myself to let go of the internal victim responses. Every time an insecurity reared it head- I beat it down with common sense. I remind myself I am NO LONGER a victim. I am NO LONGER a victim. It takes time. But I am stronger and recognize an abuser b4 I get invovled.

Wel, I am doing my best. Forgiveness is something I do not have in me, nor does that arsehole deserve it. However, I have confronted the past, resolved it in my mind and moved on. Thing is... my past does not stay the past. And that is why my pain is unresolved. They just won't let it lie, keep gnawing away at me, picking away... but yes, as soon as the past freakin stays there, confront and move right along with my merry little life

Forgiving someone who has abused you is a blessing when your able to - Forgiving them doesn't mean you have to now spend time with them or even confront them face to face - And it doesn't mean that you forget - It's your heart and you - that need to feel the forgiveness - Do it for you not for them

I suffered at the hands of my parents for 18 years. As I grew up, my anger built until I was boiling with barely contained rage. I eventually realized that I was just scalding myself. I managed to let go of most of the anger but true forgiveness took almost another decade. For the longest time, forgiveness felt like I would be condoning what they had done to me. I had heard that forgiveness was for the victim, not the victimizer but had scoffed at it. I wish I could give instructions on how to forgive but, for me, it was just like a bubble popping. One day I realized I didn't hate my father anymore. I felt pity for him and mourned the father he could have been. It took a little longer to forgive my mother since she didn't have an excuse. It was within her power to remove me from an abusive situation and she refused to do so. Eventually, I was able to accept that she did the best she could and made the decisions she thought were right. I pity her as well because she has to live with her failures for the rest of her life. I never told either of them that I forgave them. I don't treat them any differently. I just treat myself differently. I gave myself permission to stop being defined by my own personal tragedy. I feel like a whole person now because I'm no longer dedicating a large part of myself to doing the abuser's job for him.

I haven't been able to forgive my husband yet. It's too soon. I have gotten closure on my own emotions, but until he owns up to his actions I can't face him. There was no reason for him to do what he did to me and he won't recognize it.

No, I haven't. Now, that doesn't mean I let it control my life. For the most part I've moved on. I've just decided that some people don't deserve my forgiveness. I'll never be able to fully get over the pain no matter if I give them forgiveness or not. It's more of reminder of why I don't want them in my life.

I have developed a personality disorder and I have no choice but to admit that my parents were somewhat at fault..but it was essential to forgive them if I wanted to heal and so I did. What really helped me was the knowledge that they were abusive because they themselves had been hurt in the past. And as I learned to sympathize it made it easier for me to forgive.

I realized that to continue to be angry continued to allow them the power over me they always wanted to have in the first place. Indifference removes their power. I have been away from him for seven years now. I saw him for the first time last December and it was really sad to see what a truly pathetic, miserable person he is. I saw him in a completely different light and realized I never belonged there. It was an incredibly liberating moment.

See the abuser in a new light. They are sick people. They didn't want to do this to you. They simply did not know how to love. Could you show them how to love?

The best way to move on with those whom I will never see again, yet made the biggest impact on hurting me, is to mentally forgive them and come up with my own closure. People throw that word around like it means something and what closure really is, is an excuse for one to get in the last word or last jab. That’s not closure; that is merely the last word in a never-ending argument. When you choose to let go of the memory and take responsibility for any part you may have had in the abuse (because there are aspects of abuse we actually allow), and if it is something you will never be able to face, like a childhood molester when you were 5, then you have to take the high road and let it go. Read “The Secret” or better yet, get the book on CD and listen to it all the time. Also, “You Can Heal Your Life” by L. Hay is always a good one too.

I've found that the only way that I can really forgive the people who have done serious wrongs to me (and I mean serious) is knowing that they are GENUINELY sorry for what they did. The ones who aren't sorry, or who don't think that they were in the wrong for what they did, are beyond my forgiveness, to be perfectly honest. I grew up with abusive parents. My mom was suffering through severe postpartum depression, and was also being abused by my stepfather, who is a classic example of a sociopath. Anyway, my mother realized that her actions towards me were wrong and was really sorry, and after a while we reconciled. I'm not saying that what she did doesn't still hurt, but we're better now. My stepdad, on the other hand, is, as I said, a sociopath - he genuinely has no conscience, and therefore thinks that whatever he does to someone they really deserve it - whether that be beating a four-year-old to bleeding with a belt for defending himself against a bully, or spreading vicious rumors about someone just to gain isolate them from everyone else. I will never be on "good" terms with this man because he will never stop doing what he does. I have had experiences with abusive relationships and sexual assault as well - and those people I will also never be able to forgive. My ex boyfriend was abusive towards me (and quite frankly insane). I won't go into details, but we'll just say that my Junior year of high school was hell because of repeat sexual assault and torture by the ex boyfriend, one of his friends, and then another guy entirely unaffiliated with them. The worst part was that I was convinced that it was all my fault and that I'd deserved it, because that is what the ex boyfriend (who I still loved and trusted at the time) and his friends told me. At any rate, I am able to admit that it happened now (for a long time I was also unable to talk about it to anyone). And knowing that it happened and I survived, and was able to effectively move on, has definitely helped. I don't think that the pain will ever go away 100%, but I don't let it rule me anymore, and I don't play the victim card.