Single women - why do you go out to bars and clubs with a bunch of other women? Don't you know that this will intimidate men from approaching you? Is that the idea - you go out with a bunch of girls to prevent men from trying to talk to you?

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• I sort of agree with both. I see the need for physical and emotional security. (As well as the possibility that they may not want to be approached). But on the other hand as a guy its a heck of a lot easier to flirt with a girl who's kind of on her own then one who's got a bunch of friends around her.

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  by Valparaiso on February 19th, 2007

• So ask her to the dance floor and then flirt away. Or ask her to have a drink with you at the bar, away from her friends. It's close enough that she'll feel safe and you'll get her 'alone'.

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  by Little Miss Dangerous on February 19th, 2007

• little> A lot of it has to do with humiliation. If the girl is going to tell you no or humiliate you then you really don't want to it in front of a crowd.

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  by Valparaiso on February 20th, 2007

• I know Val, I get it--really. It's the same for women too! But you have to put yourself out there a bit at some point. If all the gals are on the dance floor, why not try speaking to her then? It's not uncommon, and dancing is your forte, your comfort zone, no? ]
  You'll undoubtedly have to scream in her ear to be heard, and so no one else will hear the response. Sending a drink over ensures the worst humiliation would be taking rejection from afar, but it may just get you a wave over to her table or bring her to you.

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  by Little Miss Dangerous on February 20th, 2007

• I don't go out to bars much actually. I wasn't aware they had dancing. I'm not much of a drinker. . . (Which is why I didn't answer this question). If there was dancing I might consider it but honestly I'm only good at ballroom dancing because it has a structure to it that I understand. Plus I don't do the bar scene much because I'm about 95% certain that I would not be likely to find a woman that matches my views in a bar.

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  by Valparaiso on February 20th, 2007

• Well, you can't rule anything out. Clubs here (US) are all about dancing, which you'd probably be good at (all you need is rhythm). I am Christian and am not a big drinker myself, but did occasionally go out with friends for fun. You might meet friends at a bar that introduce you to that special gal. Good luck!

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  by Little Miss Dangerous on February 20th, 2007

• I've been to a club once and I definatly did not look cool.

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  by Valparaiso on February 20th, 2007

• +6 to your last point there! I HATE getting hit on at bars, single or not. That's not where quality women go to find dates. Ew.

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  by Shelby on December 23rd, 2007

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• Good. The fun is worth more than that anyway.

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  by Anonymous on March 27th, 2008

• I usually get hit on by more women, anyway, LOL.

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  by Sweet T on March 27th, 2008

• That's kinky!

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  by Anonymous on March 27th, 2008

• Kinky???

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  by Sweet T on March 27th, 2008

• Don't mind me. Women are beautiful like men could never be.

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  by Anonymous on March 27th, 2008

• it is actually pretty funny, It seems like I have a sign hanging on me, my sister gets a kick out of it...

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  by Sweet T on March 27th, 2008

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• Just out of curiosity...do single women ever hang out alone at places other than clubs and bars? I may be looking at the wrong places perhaps =)

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  by hoki on February 19th, 2007

• Maybe in front of their computers - but that's about it. Its human nature to travel in packs :) And for women, its not safe (refer to responses above) for us to go out alone. And, don't take this the wrong way, but everyone needs help in fending off creepy guys that you're not interested in talking to! You might have better luck during the day - at the gym, the mall, book store, park, etc.

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  by nittany on February 19th, 2007

• sprash, you know that women even go to the bathroom together! But it's not a bad idea to try and snag her on her way back to her table. Or how about sending a glass over with the invitation to join you for a drink? You'll know by the smile if it's a 'yes'.

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  by Little Miss Dangerous on February 19th, 2007

• am I really that much of an oddity that I do not have any desire to hang with my own gender and I'd rather be generaly alone than in a group of men?

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  by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on August 4th, 2009

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• I'm not flaming you in any way, but you have to realize that you're much more likely to find a bad or abusive jerk who is confident enough to approach you when you're in a group, than a god-natured and intelligent guy with a high-paying job. If you wanna have fun, that is fine - but later on don't think about why you were never able to get a good guy. I'm speaking from personal experience (and friends' opinions)

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  by hoki on February 19th, 2007

• woah! well, sounds like you dont go to the right places or if you do, you're weighed down with negative expectations.
  
  And are you saying that only jerks are brave enough to approach women who are with their friends? Wow. that's kinda sad. I'd like to think I've got more faith in males than that.
  If a guy wants a girl enough, he'll make the effort and once he does it will pay off in spades (providing there was an attraction in the first place).
  
  Sorry but from a safety in numbers perspective it's not going to make a female leave her friends just in case she gets a guy approaching who is good natured and intelligent.
  
  Hey, but then again, I met my husband online so I don't go man-shopping when I'm out dancing. ;)

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  by Ausbabe on February 19th, 2007

• sprash, take my advice to Valpraiso. Women are not unsympathetic to your plight. If you can get up the courage to ask her out on the dance floor, do your flirting there and then invite her to a separate table for a drink.

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  by Little Miss Dangerous on February 19th, 2007

• Thank you for saying what I've been trying to say.

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  by Ausbabe on February 20th, 2007

• No problem, Ausbabe! Glad to help.

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  by Little Miss Dangerous on February 20th, 2007

• Hi Ausbabe; it's true that most men simply won't approach a women who's with her friends. Usually it's the players who do that. It's far too exposed; being rejected is bad enough, being rejected PUBLICLY is more than most men are willing to risk. Men hate losing face above all else... our fear of rejection borders on the phobic, really. But in reality, a club is a crappy place to find a date since that's what jerks and players use as their hunting grounds. FYI, most men have been rejected pretty cruelly more than once... it either makes them fearless (that's what I'm wokring on) or the whole "once bitten, twice shy" thing kicks in. :)

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  by Langenschwert on October 8th, 2008

• Just remember there are a lot of sweethearts on that dance floor too.

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  by Little Miss Dangerous on October 8th, 2008

• aus... they did not say only.... just that the odds were greater. and he is right. nice guys are less ready to be short down because they are not just out to get laid tonight then never be seen again.

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  by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on August 4th, 2009

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• breaking away is virtualy your ONLY chance to get a non player.
  I was about to comment on you doing the aproaching then I read your last line.
  maybe bar guys percieve you as still being part of the group even though not physicaly in their location. seriously... nonplayers are usualy not confident enough to try compeeting against the flock even when the girl has strayed away.

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  by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on August 4th, 2009

• go by yourself to the bar to grab a drink. i met a sweet guy online that told me if he saw me at a bar hed wait till i went over to the bar, hed never be so bold as to talk over to me... so you dont have to fully do the approaching but at least casually "bump" into the guy or chill by the bar without your girls for a few

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  by Sunshine n Lollipops on August 4th, 2009

• I agree with the person who asked the question. Most guys don't want to walk up in the middle of a large group of women to try to talk to one of them. You may not want to go out alone, but try going with one or two other girls, and don't be afraid to talk to guys first. You'll have plenty of guys who are responsive this way.

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  by knownothing on August 4th, 2009

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• then go to an all womens bar...bars are the only places men have left to pick up women, dont take that away from us!

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  by BrianP on August 4th, 2009

• it isn't egotistical.... the guys are just there for the women so they assume women are there for the same reason.
  brian... try the internet. try the grocery store. subtly try work.

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  by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on August 4th, 2009

• OMG BrianP! There are NO women's bars...and if there is somewhere straight girls arent going to go to a lesbo bar...
  
  The bank, the supermarket, the pharmacy, ANYWHERE you go you can pick up a woman!
  
  Now, a drunk off her ass girl, well if that's the case why are you so pussy to approach her?

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  by Sunshine n Lollipops on August 4th, 2009

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• Its women like you that make the bar sceen such a boring place for men...may i suggest going to women only bars so men dont accidentally hit on you?

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  by BrianP on August 4th, 2009

• why dont you guys just let those women be?
  
  there is no such straight women only bars, we have the mall to shop, and then the bar/clubs to go out with our girls, it doesnt always gotta be all about you
  
  when it is about you guys then we go with only one or two of our girls to meet up with the single guys

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  by Sunshine n Lollipops on August 4th, 2009

• Bars are one of the few places men have to pick up girls, thats why i belive only women who are serious about meeting men should go, if not stick to the mall .

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  by BrianP on August 4th, 2009

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• unless you pay for it ha ha ha

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  by JC85cap on June 4th, 2009

• i guess im one of those guys who will have to pay for it then...lol

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  by BrianP on August 4th, 2009

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• then go to an all girls club. Let the women who have lives go to the clubs with men, so that we can actually have a chance.

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  by BrianP on August 4th, 2009

• Where is this all girls club you keep talking bout?
  
  Just know that you don't have a chance with the girls in a group because that's not what they are looking for...get it?

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  by Sunshine n Lollipops on August 4th, 2009

• So... go to a lesbian club? So that we still get hit on by people?
  
  You have a chance... it's called not being a loser and looking for a date at a club. Hasn't anyone ever told you that's no place to look for someone since the point in a club is drinking and dancing?
  
  Or are you just hoping for some boozed-up girl that will sleep with you, but that's not happening because her friends are there to protect her?
  
  The fact that we will go out to a club -not- looking for some cheesy guy is proof that we have lives. The girls you want are the ones with -no- life who sit around a club alone hoping for some creep to want to take her home.

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  by Elfie on August 11th, 2009

• Exactly Elfie : )

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  by Sunshine n Lollipops on August 12th, 2009

• Bars are for picking up girls. dont go there and not expect to be hit on. Go to the mall if you want to have fun, Bars are a man's domain. Where else are you suposed to pick up girls? Church? Yeah right....

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  by BrianP on August 16th, 2009

• We weren't complaining about getting hit on. He was complaining about not being able to hit on girls cause they're in groups.
  
  And most people don't meet their future partners at bars/clubs. You meet them at school, work, park, places you do hobbies.
  
  You can't dance at the mall, plus I hate malls. If I want to go out with my friends I got to the bar or a club to have fun. Unfortunately for you, a bar is -not- a man's domain. Not unless we're talking about a Skin bar.

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  by Elfie on August 17th, 2009

• Its girls like you who ruin the bar sceene for men...i still think it would be better for you to go to an all girls club...most women are 3 drinks away from being lesbian anyways so why not kill two birds with one stone, and leave the non-grouped girls for us to pick up...

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  by BrianP on August 17th, 2009

• Perhaps cause there isn't an all girls club?
  And it's ignorant men like you that ruin all scenes for women. Whether or not I was in the bar alone, you'd still be turned down, so what difference does it make if I'm there with other people?

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  by Elfie on August 17th, 2009

• Believe me i wouldnt hit on you for a million bucks...i could spot some one like you a mile away. As for the all girls club...go to the lesbo bar...your obviously not interested in men when you go out...so that must mean...

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  by BrianP on August 17th, 2009

• There aren't any lesbian bars here. And if I'm not a lesbian isn't it mean to be in a lesbian bar since I'm obviously not interested in them?

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  by Elfie on August 17th, 2009

• well then i guess men are just gonna have to stear clear of the boring one then arent they? I stick to my premise that bars are the ONLY place to pick up women easily; being in a group makes that harder for men, im just looking out for me and what USED to be a fun bar scene.

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  by BrianP on August 17th, 2009

• It's only fun when you can pick up a girl? And of course it's easy to pick up a girl at a bar.. she's drunk and doesn't know what she's doing. If that's the only place you can pick up a girl, perhaps you need to think about why only drunk girls want you.

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  by Elfie on August 18th, 2009

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• it is not wrong unless they consider them lesser beings... you are not required to be equaly attracted to every race. I find very few full blacks attractive... but give it a nice mix and WOW!!!!

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  by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on August 4th, 2009

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• wow! that was a very constructive opinion...(sarcasm)

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  by hoki on February 19th, 2007

• Sorry, but right back at ya. If you answered my questions, you'd have your constructive answer. You think *you* feel intimidated? Have you considered it may not only be intimidating, but unsafe for a woman to go out at night, to a bar alone? It's not exactly a neutral, well lit restaurant during the day. Sorry if you don't find it constructive.

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  by Little Miss Dangerous on February 19th, 2007

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