ANSWERS: 9
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There's not much you can do except to shower them with love and attention when you see them. Unfortunately there really isn't much more you can do. The courts try to protect the childrens best interests, but best interests don't include protection from idle gossip, no matter how painful or dangerous.
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You're making a lot of assumptions. Talk to the woman, try and explain your feelings and ask her how you can help her make sure the kids have an active participation in BOTH sides of the family. . On a side note be prepaired to learn that you did actually harm her in some way. Differing family values leads to much stress in relationships. We'll use religion for example. jewish mother, and catholic grandparents works out poorly for grand kids. You may see it as normal and healthy, she may not.
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Tell her to be a mom and not use the kids and make them hate everybody as it is bad for the kids. It took both t6o reck the marriage and not just her. Maybe her part was bigger, but he did some of it. But both should love the kids and all take care of them as they ar the ones suffering anyway.
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they are passing a law in some states now ,parent alienation, where if can be proved that one parent is trying to a child against the other, they will take it away and award custody to the "good" parent...there are some states that have "grandparents rights also"...these kind are very selfish ,jealous, evil people....but the courts are rampant with them and their best enabler is their lawyers(thats how they make a living)they will try to accuse the other of anything and everything to keep them away, even molestation...seen it happen ,but it didn't work thank goodness....and it wasn't long before HE had sole custody!!!u can't stop her...just never stoop to her level and take all u can for UR GRANDCHILDREN"S BEST INTEREST...it will be a while but most see the BIG PICTURE once an adult or wisened enough to see whats going on...do what u have to ,take what u have to, they are worth it...she wanted out and she is selfish and little enough to use her kids to get hurt u and get them out too... call Dr. Laura...she is the BEST there is for these EVIL PARENTS as she calls them...she will help...:)Justme
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I'm going to offer some very good advice to you that you probably aren't going to listen to, but here goes anyway. Forget everything that has happened before. Refuse to talk badly about your soon to be ex-daughter-in-law. Make it clear to her that she is still part of your family. Invite her out to lunch or something and talk candidly about keeping a relationship with her and the children. Don't discuss the relationship between your son and her. Don't get in the middle of it at all. Don't talk about it to your son and let her know you won't. Tell her that it's important that your ties to her and the children remain strong. Then stick to that.
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How do you know this? All you can do is be good to them and know your rights about your grandchildren. Don't worry about her, if she is doing this she would jump for joy to know how you feel. Beat her at her own game, stay calm, smile always be nice to her, love up your grandchildren. AND NEVER argue with her in front of the children.
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The kids eventually see the truth. Just keep being good grandparents.
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I would try to find a time to see this woman in person. I would talk to her. Tell her that her marriage to her son has gone bad, BUT that is between them. Tell her that you'd like to have a separate and good relationship with her and the kids despite whatever may go on with your son. Don't be angry and bring up the stuff she has said. Try to make peace for your grandchildren.
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Some people (amazingly) are that way. They will probably never change. The best you can do is provide the children with a good understanding of the kind of people you are. Let them decide who is full of it and who is not. i think you'll find they are prety aware of how it works.
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