My sister is running away from her abusive husband and she's coming to stay with me. What should be the first thing to do to keep her and the kids safe from him?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 20
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get yourself some teeth... lethal ones because the moment he sees you are willing to fight back he will keep his guard up and/or get lethal himself. when it comes to an abuser you do not want him to know you are ready to fight back until he is dead at your hand or you WILL be dead at his. a gun is the easiest way to win however you have to go get the gun and load it. you can have a katana as decoration in your living room and that is ready in an instant but you better know how to use it.
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Get a restraining order and tell the police, because otherwise the husband can arrest her for kidnapping, and he would have rights to the kids if no legal action has been taken against him.
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Call the police and explain exactly what's happening. They will help you, that's their job yo...
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call the police...trust me
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Inform the police, get a restraining order, get legally separated, arm yourselves, don't hesitate to drop the guy if he comes to do harm.
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You need to call the police and show pictures of him around the neighborhood. Also, if she gets a job, you have to show the employer and let them know he should not come to work to bug her.
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Witnesses from the past always help with things like this. Pictures help. Alert the police ahead of time. Ask their advice. Be aware that he may get to her and talk her into coming home and there may be nothing you can do about it. That sucks, but sometimes that is what happens in situations like this. Don' forget, she has kids with him. However, what you are doing is a good thing and that should not be forgotten. God Bless you and Good Luck.
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I hate to say this, BUT. She shouldn't be coming to stay with you. She needs to be in a shelter for awhile where she will be safe. And this puts you in harms way too. Yes I know you don't mind, she's your sister, but if he's very anger there is no telling what he might do and if you get hurt or worse the family will be destroyed. I hope your sister is ok, I'm glad she is getting out of this ugly mess. But please be safe!
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Don't let her stay with you. Put her somewhere that he won't think to look. You will probably be the first place he'll check.
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With written description of his behavior and photographs: Notify every police force, city, county, state etc. Notify every neighbor. Try convincing her to contact a women's shelter. Change all the locks on all doors & install dead bolts. Secure all windows with locks and secure bars. Find some counciling for her and her children. BE VERY CAREFUL
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law enforcemtn MUST get involved. Do an Information report with the local agency, file for order of protection that includes the children, get the divorce filed (even if its contested, file it!) Be sure the kids are escorted to and from all activities. Notify ALL neighbors of the situation, include his photo if you can.....and let him know you have done all this. If he KNOWS for 100% he is going to be caught, and has NO CHANCE of getting away with it, he may be less likely to harm them or you. (but not always)
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If you have good neighbors let them know.
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The police will do nothing until somebody is dead. Make sure it isn't you. Good luck.
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that is true, I stayed at a friends...and he still came and got me forcefully (with a gun, and kidnapped me)... Lock the door...Never open it for ANYBODY Have somebody on look out...Everynight - even if you havta take turns - for at least a week have weopons available (incase he does break in) Have an excape route Make sure you call the police department...and notify them of his abusive ways...and that he is very dangerous Make sure...MEN are there, not just women and children (close family memeber, friend, boyfriend) Keep a video camera near. (if he shows up...hide it and push play) Be very aware.... It was the scariest night in my life...but you MUST keep her and those kids safe.
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The first place he will look is your house and experience shows that anyone involved in trying to protect the abuse victim can be harmed as well. It is NOT a good idea for her to stay with you. You cannot protect her. She needs to be in a safe house for at least a few weeks until things cool off. Trust me when I tell you he WILL be to your house first thing and it could mean your life, her life and the kids life. You can get a restraining order and all but the cops can only do so much and honestly, she could be dead before the cops got to your house..not trying to scare you but that's life.
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Her over dramatization. Second to that your reaction to her over dramatization.
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Get a lawyer and make a police report if you haven't already. Install an alarm system in case he tries to intrude. Reroute all of her mail to a PO Box address. Tell a neighbor you trust to call the police if he/she hears suspicious noises coming from your home. Install a deadbolt lock in her room and kids room that can only be locked from the inside. Get her a cell phone to carry at all times. Put the following numbers on speed dial: police domestic violence hotline family/friends local battered women’s shelter Think of at least four safe places she and the kids can go if she leaves your home. Create an escape plan and rehearse it regularly. Put together an escape bag that contains important items, and leave it in a safe place in or outside of the house.
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Restraining order......HELLO
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Well if u are that scared of him maybe a womens shelter is more in order, but if she must come and stay with u ALWAYS keep the doors locked, neighbours notified just in case of an emergency, snd never let your guard down!!!
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Go somewhere where he doesn't know you are.
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