ANSWERS: 5
  • Im always confused when people say "she/he is my soul mate, the one person I love" then either have an affair or "fall" for others. If you find your falling for others then you really need to step back and ask if she really is the one for you, because to me if your that much in love you wouldnt need another.
    • officegirl
      Sorry but seems you have bought into a lot of cultural mythology. "Love" does not conquer all not does it automatically make you exclusive. Think about it - how much of your thinking comes from your desire to have a relationship that personally defines you ? Then if something goes wrong you tell yourself oh well I didn't "love" him or he didn't "love" me etc. Which is like the cart pulling the horse. Or being set in a situation where you are not allowed to feel anything yourself. If fact it can often be just the opposite - the better time we have with a lover the more we want to have as great a time with other lovers!
    • Jewels Vern
      Officegirl, you are full of shit. "One and only" does not allow other lovers. You are talking about lying, not loving.
  • No I think that is normal though some people will try and tell you it is not. Of course you will like different girls because it is natural for you to be attracted to them. If you did not you would not be human for goodness sake. But you need to sort out for yourself the difference between that and being serious about someone and marrying them. And when you do will you be able to accept that your wife is just as human as you are and may well have many of the same desires toward men that you have for women?
  • Yes. You are not ready to think about commitment. That's OK. But it is important to know that about yourself.
  • 01-01-2017 As long as you have no self control, I suggest you do not pretend to have a faithful relationship. It's just a matter of honesty.
  • Some of the answers here are rather harsh, but they have a kernel of a point. To start, at the biological level, human males are programmed by evolution to want to seek out as many sex partners as possible. (Females, by contrast, as a general rule are programmed to seek out only one because they can only bear - and care for - one infant at a time.) So, at one level, you are following instinct. It is natural for you to want to be with as many women as you can be. However, here's the problem. We are NOT purely instinctive creatures. The instinct can be fought, and part of the job of culture and society - where they are healthy - are to teach you that seeking out many partners is not a good thing. You ask, is there anything seriously wrong with you. Seriously wrong? Nope. However, it may be - and I don't mean to sound harsh - that you need to grow up and mature a little bit more. You need to be driven less by your emotions and more by your intellect and - dare we say it - your moral standards. You are mistaking your feelings of sexual attraction for something more serious. That's normal and in the normal course of things you should outgrow it. However, it is indicative of a bigger problem. You say you think you are serious with your gf. However, that is problematic. A man who cannot separate adequately in his head mere attraction from real love is not going to be the best judge of other people, let alone of whether he is truly serious about someone. If you like your gf and you want it to be serious, you need to discipline yourself - and by all means for heaven's sake, until you mature, you should NOT be proposing marriage. Frankly, I don't know how old you are, but for the time being you are probably best off just dating and making no commitments. To be cliche, if your gf really is "the one," time and your actions will tell. Until then, there is nothing "seriously wrong" with you. Actually, the fact that you had the wisdom to ask of your question speaks VERY well of you. It shows more self-awareness than you see in most people and suggests that you are capable of reflection and maturing. Great for you. However, you are where you are at this stage in your life. Until you can answer your question and say to yourself, I only want to be with my gf, you are best off "playing the field," making sure your gf knows where you stand. (She is part of this and has rights too. This might not be fun. In the course of things, women tend to mature faster than men - its partly that evolution thing - and you may find she is MORE serious about you then you are about her. Be advised that you may hurt her. That said, if you must hurt her, better now than when you are married with a baby on the way.) Best of luck - but don't let some of the harsher remarks here offend you. You are actually, in a way, a better guy then you are giving yourself credit for. You just need to keep trying to be better - keeping in mind that, in the end, this may not end happily ever after.

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