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My father who is German does not like me to spend money on anything nice for him. An older German woman I know doesn't like her daughter to spend money on her for Opera tickets. Are Germans so cheap they don't even want others to spend money?

By Sheriff Raff -Answerhag Asked Feb 7 2009 10:50AM
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Top Answer out of 8

by suzycue on Feb 7, 2009 at 10:56 am Permalink

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Another interpretation: Unselfish.
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Avatar Sheriff Raff -Answerhag Feb, 07 2009 at 11:05 AM
He spent so much money on me raising me from a baby to the age of 20, the least I can do is bring him some nice imported beer for him to enjoy.
Avatar suzycue Feb, 07 2009 at 11:19 AM
Do it anyway...he will never agree...but he will be tickled that you did!

Answer 2 out of 8

by JakobA is a hydromoron on Feb 7, 2009 at 11:05 am Permalink

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There are lots of possibilities.

Most likely I guess is they do not want you to spend money on them. And while the reason for that could be thrift, it certainly do not mean that they are 'cheap'.

Or maybe they know you well enough to predict that you will buy them something utterly useless and unwanted, witch will then make them obligated when your birthday comes along. (PS: it really IS very difficult to find a good gift for people from a different culture and of different age)

regards JakobA
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Avatar Sheriff Raff -Answerhag Feb, 07 2009 at 11:17 AM
I don't celebrate birthdays or holidays and neither do my parents so when I ask my husband to bring my dad some special beer or a cake to their house, it's because we want to. Recently, I gave them a kitten that my co-worker's son needed to find a home for and I paid for the shots and the neutering...at one point he didn't want the cat neutered because he didn't feel it was necessary. This is what I am dealing with.
Avatar JakobA is a hydromoron Feb, 07 2009 at 11:59 AM
Well, I can easily imagine him not wanting a cat in the first place; I sure dont, my flat smells bad enough with just me ;-)
Daring to venture a guess, I think the present your parents want the most is to have you visit, and spend some time with them.

Answer 3 out of 8

by lonelydragon on Feb 7, 2009 at 10:55 am Permalink

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It's probably because they grew up in a post-WWII, very poor Germany.
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Answer 4 out of 8

by Old School - Soul of Distortion on Feb 7, 2009 at 10:54 am Permalink

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I suspect that, much like my parents, the lessons of thrift that they were *forced* to learn in the aftermath of WW II have stuck with them for a lifetime.

I don't think it's so much a 'German' thing as a 'post-war refugee' thing.
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Avatar suzycue Feb, 07 2009 at 10:55 AM
Or even just a post-war thing. My parents were also very UNselfish and frugal...while they wanted me to have more than they ever did, they would deprive themselves to achieve that.

Answer 5 out of 8

by LindsayJ. on Feb 7, 2009 at 10:53 am Permalink

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i dont think theyre cheap eactly[i too came from a german family] but itd a culture thing.
do you also find your family to be very cold EXCEPT in times of tragedy>
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Answer 6 out of 8

by eric on Feb 7, 2009 at 10:52 am Permalink

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Das Tightenwad!
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Answer 7 out of 8

by dea_ex_machina on Feb 7, 2009 at 10:53 am Permalink

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It may not be the nationality, but the age, and experiences they have had. My father, who is from NI feels the same, and my mother, who is Dutch is exactly the same. What they have in common is that they went through the war, and lived through difficult financial times. Maybe that is the answer.
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Answer 8 out of 8

by RosieGHM Jetpacker on Feb 7, 2009 at 11:40 am Permalink

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I think your choice of words is unkind my friend. You might more properly have used the word "frugal". They are trying to conserve the assets of their children are they not? Why would you call that cheap and not loving or selfless or thoughtful? If you walked in your father's shoes and lived his life perhaps you might understand him better..so too with the daughter of that older German woman. You cannot possibly judge that which you do not understand and clearly neither of you can fathom why your parents would make that choice. I understand perfectly well. Happy Saturday!
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Avatar Sheriff Raff -Answerhag Feb, 07 2009 at 11:42 AM
my father is cheap... pure and simple cheap... not thrifty, not careful with money... cheap... cheap... cheap... he is proud of his cheapness.
Avatar RosieGHM Jetpacker Feb, 08 2009 at 01:29 AM
Oh..I stand corrected then. Happy Sunday sweetie. Jim and I are extravagant about food (our main/only luxury) and I think frugal about purchases for us. If my son were to use the word "cheap" in relation to me, my feelings would be quite hurt. I shop with coupons at the market, buy what is on sale, and don't buy things just to have them, but to use them if I need them. :) ((hugs)) I think it's kinda sad that your dad won't accept a gift from his child though.


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My father who is German does not like me to spend money on anything nice for him. An older German woman I know doesn't like her daughter to spend money on her for Opera tickets. Are Germans so cheap they don't even want others to spend money?

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