You and your "man" abviously do not communicate enough to get married or you wouldn't have asked this question. How long will it take before you talk about having children or not, four more years? Move on.

To: Yhtomitzlots I guess I'm more in the line of commenting and questioning, because I ended up on this page because I wanted to know the same thing. So I could use some insight as well. My question is, why are we expected to wait for extended periods of time for the man to simply propose? I haven’t been pressuring my boyfriend at all, and I won’t allow anyone else to either. Why? Because he should want to. If it’s not his idea, I won’t no part of it. However, I just don’t know how “long” I should wait before this becomes insulting to me. For some gals, it’s fine to wait on the line for…ever! But that is not me. I’m intact with my self worth and I realize my time, just like his is valuable. Why isn’t it observed that women have plans, dreams, ambitions, and goals as well? (sometimes those plans do include marriage). It’s not very fair and it does not show consideration for the lives of both individuals. I am 7 years older than my boyfriend. I’m 28. I have my own job, car, and place. As does he. He is in college. I have 2 degrees. I have no kids. I pay my own bills and make my own way. I have a very supportive family and my parents have been happily married for over 3 decades. So now, my question/ comment/ rant is now... Why do we have to wait for such long periods of time for the MAN to ask? I'm old fashioned and I DO NOT BELIEVE in asking him. I however do believe you should show your intended your actual intent. No one wants to sit and listen to anyone blather promises with no involvement of understanding of the fulfillment of that promise. We've been together for 1 year and nearly 8 months. And HE brought up the subject of marriage. After month 3, said he could see me in his life always... Month 6 he said he definitely knew he wanted to marry me and since then he‘s mentioned it often….but it's always "one day". My mom and his mom and grandma are all wondering, "Why is this taking so long?" I ask them not to say anything to him...(or to me for that matter because it is embarrassing) But to myself… I agree. Year 2 is approaching, Now it's time for some sort of display of intent. Why won't he ask? You don't instantly become hitched and broom hopped and knot tied as soon as you engage. So if it is time that is needed to get "goals and things" aligned, at least have the common curtsey and damn it, the common sense to know that you need to secure your lay-away plan!!There is another LIFE on the line here. Another human being is waiting! I’m not about the habit of wasting time. My goals and plans for MY FUTURE are just as important as his. And yes, I know that life is not a fairy tale, but if I said…(hey, Dre I want to get married. Why won‘t you propose to me?) Look at how much of my “dream” has been washed away. What ever happend to the touching "surprise" or the warm knowledge that,yes he wants to have you in his life officially just as bad as you do. He should “want” to ask and do just that. I’m not in this “love” by myself. He constantly says he loves me and we have an excellent relationship together. Why won’t he just propose? Last summer (year 1)I got a promise ring… My dad asked “what was he promising?” (too little too late for the proper effect - i was happy, but I wasn't pleased. I hinted month 6 before that I wanted one). Enough time for all that has passed. I don't want my engaging moment to feel like that. If he does not want to marry… he shouldn’t say so, and certainly not so often. It amounts to making me feel that he wants to make sure there’s not someone else out there he’s missing… or there’s not something out there he wants to do that can not be done once he’s signed, sealed, and delivered. That’s single people talk. We’re supposed to be in a committed relationship, so if that’s the dock he’s standing on, my ship needs to sail on because that’s showing me he’s not feeling the way he tells me he is. And that’s wasting my time. If we’re gonna live like we’re single then "I" at least need to BE single. I don’t want to be someone’s little “experience”. I’m not prepared to feel a fool and wait around for him indefinitely. If pressure for guys will make them leave, they need to know that procrastination does the exact same thing for us. At least for me anyway… I’ll only wait for the “Big Question” silently for the duration of ½ of 2009. After that…I’m sure my heart will heal. Do you think I'm being irrational?

The romantic notion that the "Man proposes" is from fictional novels, or long past centuries. In most good, long lasting relationships, the couple talks to each other about their feelings and reaches a mutually agreeable understanding about their future.

I think that it really depends on why you got together in the first place whether this happens or not. If people meet each other on the same plane, of both looking for a marriage mate, then a wedding usually takes place as soon as they make sure they are right for each other. but I find that often people are just 'looking for someone' and they don't make it clear that they are only interested in someone that is marriage minded. Then when you find out the other person is a bit slow on the proposing, it's almost to late to stop those feelings of love. I think that's why it's so important to find out what their intentions are from the get go before you develop those strong feelings of attachment. It isn't fair when you've given your heart and they aren't advancing the way your heart feels it needs to.