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by catlovr on December 27th, 2006

catlovr

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Help answer this question below.

One of my mother's all time favorite sayings is "God never gives us more than we can handle". I also hear it from others. If this is true, why do people commit suicide every day? Didn't they get more than they could handle?

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Answers. 51 helpful answers below.

  • by unknown on April 5th, 2007

    unknown

    God doesn't give us more than we can handle because he also gave us the Holy Spirit to be our helper. But if you don't call on Him in your time of need He can't help you. It's like having money in the bank. It's your money but it doesn't do you any good if you don't get it out of the bank. You have to ask God for help before you can get it.

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  • by 8 Jan 2004-10 Dec 2009 on March 6th, 2007

    8 Jan 2004-10 Dec 2009

    Just because we CAN handle something, that doesn't mean we will. Sometimes we have artificially low perceptions of our own abilities and give up under pressure. Even though the external causes are not enough to break us, they can make us break ourselves.

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  • by WhyamIhere on April 5th, 2007

    WhyamIhere

    We always have a choice. Mental problems in addition to other imperfections can sometimes cause us to only find one solution when sometimes there are many more. Kinda like when someone we know has resolved to kill themselves we sometimes say "He/She had so much to live for, why didn't they just do this or that instead the situation couldn't have been that bad"


    Our mentality can sometimes make us feel that this illusion of "we are the only one with this problem" is real and no one understands and we may tend to feel sorry for ourselves and look within ourselves for the solution when in reality alot of people may be going through it and if we would only think and reach out for help we could fing the answer we are looking for.

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  • by Anon y mouse on January 27th, 2008

    Anon y mouse

    Because it is a falsehood and yes, these people have had more pain than they could handle.

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  • by MelindaWarren on April 5th, 2007

    MelindaWarren

    I don’t think they were given more than they could handle. They just convinced themselves they couldn’t handle it and decided to commit suicide. Thinking it would be easier.

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  • by Verminator on December 27th, 2006

    Verminator

    They chose not to handle what they were 'given'. The future can seem scary to some, and sometimes they don't want to face it. The saddest part to suicide is that the future is uncertain and anything could happen at any moment to change how someone may have seen themselves beforehand.

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  • by mcclisteraf on December 27th, 2006

    mcclisteraf

    There are a lot of Christian quotes that are inacurate...

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  • by mikey.grrrrrrr on January 29th, 2008

    mikey.grrrrrrr

    First off I do believe in God,,ok enough said----

    Wife had been givin 12 months to Live ( Lung Cancer),,
    Hospital Bills are outragious,,

    she has had seven Chemo treatments--and they can be just like death,,,and still only 12 months to live,now they talking Radiation,,,

    More Then You Can Handle---Lets be Real Folks,,

    noone deserves this and god whouldn't let it happin,,
    But it dose happin everyday,,This one just seams to be home at my doorstep,,it suxs,,and dose happin

    ( Belive me--It is well more then some should half to Handle)

    Then again who said life was Fair!!!!!

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  • by anon on April 5th, 2007

    anon

    Maybe they got more than they deserved?

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  • by fallore on April 5th, 2007

    fallore

    Maybe suicide is their way of handling it.

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  • by Yarnlady is happy every day on January 29th, 2008

    Yarnlady is happy every day

    If there was really any such thing, would 20,000 children die of starvation every single day of the year?

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  • by Lyk OMG itz a turtle on January 29th, 2008

    Lyk OMG itz a turtle

    They don't get more than they can handle, they get more than they think they can handle. But they don't try to handle it, they just decide that it's too much and don't want to bother trying.

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  • by Anonymous on September 11th, 2007

    Anonymous

    I would wonder if - and its a sensitive subject, and quite rightly so - I wonder if one could not propose that the victims of suicide are 'handling it' in some sense....it may not be the BEST way of handling one's troubles, but I personally cannot think of my God being so cruel as to TOTALLY abandon or ignore someone who asks for assistance from Him....
    The question then becomes, of course, 'is suicide GIVEN to someone by God, or is it a choice among many OPEN to those who carry it out?"

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  • by BrokeDog on April 5th, 2007

    BrokeDog

    IF we are Christians, we also realize that Satan is right there, doing everything he can, to make it worse for you. He WANTS you to think God has put too much on you, then left you alone to fend for yourself. Look what Satan did to Job.
    I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm just stating some Christian beliefs. Any one that's been on AB very long, knows my beliefs are in the minority. But, it's just MY opinion. I'm not speaking for other Christians.

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  • by Metaphiz on April 5th, 2007

    Metaphiz

    I have always taken that statement to mean that God would never give you more than what you have the potential to handle. It also works on the assumption that you trust Him.

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  • by abzilla on February 8th, 2007

    abzilla

    Because faith is in short supply these days

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  • by mac1896 on February 8th, 2007

    mac1896

    Because sometimes we give up on God, as we don't see the whole picture the way He does.

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  • by Goldencat on November 17th, 2008

    Goldencat

    Okey-dokey. Let's look at the actual verse:

    1Chronicles 10:13 There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it.

    This means that if we are tempted to sin, God will make us a way to avoid giving in to it.

    The passage, taken in context, says we were given examples of those who gave in to sins like tempting Christ, illicit sex, and idolatry as a warning. So we will not give in to the same things and get into sin.

    It does NOT say God won't put more on us than we can handle. Read it again.

    People have misread the verse to mean God will not let life situations overwhelm us. They apparently think God micromanages all our lives, and every happening is direct from Him. Therefore, even evil things like cancer, Hitler, and drunk drivers must be part of His divine Will for us.

    They certainly are not.

    People chose to reject God's way - His rule over their lives - at the Garden of Eden. We chose to listen to the Devil, and choose good and evil for ourselves.

    We were sold out to the Devil ever since, by default. That is why it took the blood of Jesus to ransom us back, and get us full access to God again. BUT it is still an individual choice for or against God.

    To make things worse, the Church has been disobedient to the point that miracles and healings seldom happen today. The early church had them all the time. They fasted, prayed, and were united in confidence that God would help them. and He did! He still does, for those who believe - like the persecuted church in Romania and China. (look up Dmitru Duduman for one)

    Now, another myth-buster: God only intervenes for His own people, not every person in need. Free Will is expensive. God must be asked into one's life before He will take action on their behalf. (of course He wants to help - but unlike Satan, He plays by the rules)

    That said, let's look at suicide.

    From a counseling viewpoint, suicide is the end result of psychological pain that has gone unresolved for a long period of time. There is usually a trigger event, such as a broken romance that is "the final straw" and overwhelms the person.

    So much mental pain is stored up that the person feels hopeless, and may even feel the world is better off without him. For some, it is a choice to end senseless suffering, as in the case of terminal disease.

    Life in a fallen world, people, the Devil, and plain old age and disease can overburden a soul to the point of suicide. So can mental disorders, psych drug reactions, and demon posession.

    God does not.

    He is there to help His children deal with those situations. Jesus paid for our healing as well as our freedom to choose a personal relationship with God. Healing covers mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical.

    The issues of divine healing, deliverance, and miracles is lengthy, but documented on Bible study sites.

    Evangelists like Kenneth Hagin, Sr., Rick Madison, and Sid Roth are also sources of information about modern miracles and the Holy Spirit.

    So yes, people can be overwhelmed by life events, for many reasons. This is especially true of people with no spiritual foundation to encourage them.

    Yes, Christians do commit suicide, and that is between them and God. Judas killed himself, and he was one of the 12 disciples!

    No, it is not always a sign of cowardice. No, a person is not automatically damned for suicide. No scripture says that. God looks on our hearts.

    God bless and shalom.

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  • by -O-uknow on July 22nd, 2008

    -O-uknow

    Obviously more than they wanted to.

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  • by evilchinesekid on July 22nd, 2008

    evilchinesekid

    I guess this, in its most basic level, is a matter of religion and faith, whether God takes good care of His people or not. personally, I'm actually an atheist, so I'm probably not the best guy to answer this, but I found that with religion, one is able to get through many hard times, but when there comes an incredibly difficult time, they feel abandoned by God and lost. others will not have this advantage nor liability. it all comes down to how you cope with the loss or situation and not to let it overwhelm you.

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  • by jmsofmo on July 22nd, 2008

    jmsofmo

    The saying that God doesn't give us more than we can handle comes from the first book to the Corinthian believers. I Cor. 10:13. It goes on to say that He provides a way for us to escape temptation or to endure the trial. God may allow us more than we THINK we can handle for the very purpose that we will realize our need for Him and cry out to Him. Idne is correct that God has given the Holy Spirit to be our helper and our comforter and those who do not turn to God do not use the "funds" that are available to them in their "bank". He resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Our best chance to become humble is when we realize we are unable to save ourselves. Some will not choose God or His way to endure and will be deceived into believing that there is no hope or that suicide is a good solution to whatever they are struggling with. In truth our struggles are the very things that many times help us grow closer to God. Deception many times is the main ingredient in the mind's workings of a suicidal person. "There is no way out of this mess" "No one cares or loves me" "There is no hope for me" "No one will miss me" "I am not of any value" etc. These are all lies. There is always hope. And for those who are in pain and suffering and want to end it through suicide I have the most heartfelt compassion for them - but at the same time would plead with them to endure to the end trusting that God even uses suffering to conform us to the image of Christ and knows what He is doing. Trust Him and do not give in to ending your life yourself. There is nothing we cannot handle WITH GOD. The darkest hour is just before the dawn. I have lost both a family member and a friend to suicide and feel strongly that they chose the wrong path. But, having been in such a depressed state to have actually wished for death instead of waking up to another day, I can say I understand the mindset that leads to suicide. But, thank God - I chose to trust God and walk through the valley of the shadow of death - and He brought me out to the other side where there is again joy in living. It was not an easy or fast road, but it was step by step. If you know someone who is suicidal get them help! If you are that way yourself - seek help! Don't be afraid of getting help! "Perfect love casts out fear." (1st letter of John) I John 4:18.

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  • by angel on February 19th, 2008

    angel

    Without getting into it too far. I say it's bullshit. Although I personally can handle what I have, I know others that can't, and they believe in GOd. I can imagine that it was a way to cover when some poor person was losing their mind, and some religious "head guy" couldn't answer why god let him suffer, and threw it back at the poor person, making him feel guilty that he wasn't holding up to what "god gave him" Just my take

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  • by UneFille on January 27th, 2008

    UneFille

    My mom says that too. I also wonder about this. Can children in other countries handle being sexually abused 30 times a day, or how do people live after having lost their children. I have to say I am a little nervous about the saying...I suppose everyone has a different capacity. I think when people commit suicide they feel like there is no end to their pain and there never will be. Day after day the intensity of pain and grief or humiliation ensues. It never seems to find relief. I personally feel like I have been given more than I can handle and I don't understand why. All I can say is that perhaps severe pain and trial is God's way of helping us detach ourselves from things that can hurt us such as ego...and pride. Sorry if this doesn't help much.

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  • by Chaysgirl24 on September 11th, 2007

    Chaysgirl24

    My mom says that to me a lot too! I guess the way I look at it is that God basically tests us! He allows things to happen to us to test us! I hope this makes sense to you!

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  • by zee-ster on April 5th, 2007

    zee-ster

    in my opinion, yes. but some would argue that they could have handled it and just choose to give up...

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  • by SillySusy on April 5th, 2007

    SillySusy

    maybe they thought that their situation was soooo bad that they didnt consider any possibilities and any other choices other than just getting rid of their TEMPORARY pain and hurt and didnt think that it would be temporary and just decided to end their lives...all though i agree with the saying...He does give us time of turbulence becuz everyone goes thriugh it and just becuz your a certain religion doesnt mean ur gonna be exactly problem-free, we're gonna have time of trouble cuz we're human and we bring it upon ourselves, but He always gets us through it and i strongly belive that becuz it's happened to me..maybe people who commit suicide think htere is no other way of getting out of their situation other than killing themselves on purpose...

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  • by Bluerose on April 5th, 2007

    Bluerose

    Sounds to me like your mum is trying to convince herself more tan anyone else. Why not see what you can do to make her load a little lighter?

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  • by Friartuck on March 6th, 2007

    Friartuck

    ...maybe because there isn't a Deity Anguish Filtering System after all, and life just happens to people...?

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  • by Sidhedarkness on March 6th, 2007

    Sidhedarkness

    Because many people don't realize they can handle a lot more than they think they do, and need a lot less than they want.

    I posted, and then realized I should clarify something: Not everybody is actually happy, some people have very real mental illness that can cause irrational thought process, as well as delusions. There is, and never will be perfection in the world, and suicide can easily be brought about by the totally mundane influence of those around you.

    Sure, the gods may bring you luck, or throw a good job offer your way, but people can be cruel, and many suicides occure thanks to the machinations of our fellow human beings.

    As for those who suffer from a chemical imbalance, or a mental illness, well, I can't say. Perhaps there is a divine plan there of some sort.

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  • by Mirage V2.0 AWOL on February 8th, 2007

    Mirage V2.0 AWOL

    This is taking a religious platitude, and asking a sociological/psychological question.

    I'd call that a non sequitur.


    Main Entry: non se·qui·tur
    Function: noun
    Pronunciation: 'nän-'se-kw&-t&r also -"tur
    Etymology: Latin, it does not follow
    1 : an inference that does not follow from the premises ; specifically : a fallacy resulting from a simple conversion of a universal affirmative proposition or from the transposition of a condition and its consequent
    2 : a statement (as a response) that does not follow logically from anything previously said

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  • by Valparaiso on February 8th, 2007

    Valparaiso

    Because people are so selfish and don't trust or have hope. So they kill themselves just to take the pain away without thinking of who they are hurting in the process.

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  • by Gingerminx on January 29th, 2008

    Gingerminx

    Did anyone think perhaps in the emotional state suicidal people are in and the fact they are not thinking with logic but emotion, that maybe they believe they are doing what is not just going to end their pain but be better for those people in their lives that they, rightly or wrongly, believe they are hurting?

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  • by Jane on January 29th, 2008

    Jane

    you sure make a good point there. I can't disagree with ya on that one!

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  • by Stevopedia on July 22nd, 2008

    Stevopedia

    No, God alwayse gives us a way to be happy, and escape temptaion. Suicide is very sad, very serioue, and is often related to depression. But those are people who maid the easy decision, becasue the right one seemed almost impossible.

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  • by Wickels on January 29th, 2008

    Wickels

    The religous answer, is that those people were not in touch with God or the Holy Spirit, that would help them through there difficult time.

    My answer is: Becuase sometimes, you are giving more than you can handle. And that whole line is to make you feel less overwhelmed.

    How well is someone going to handle fighting with their best friend, losing their job, their car breaking down and getting evicted, all in three days? It is a bit much.

    Terrible things happen to good people all the time. For some, sucide is the only option, either due to depression, drug use, not wanting to face the consequenses of actions etc.

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  • by Firebrand on February 8th, 2007

    Firebrand

    Because he thinks we are all 400lb linebackers with 6ft wide shoulders.

    Why else would he pile so much anguish on some people?

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  • by frankb182 on February 1st, 2010

    frankb182

    this is because, well i believe, God doesn't hand us anything, we gotto work for it...

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  • by thatsJustme on February 1st, 2010

    thatsJustme

    maybe it pertains to those who have a relationship with HIM.........I know it has saved me a few times ..:)
    HE wants us to turn to HIM in our darkest hours, just like Job, Jonah, many did and do, to ask for help....

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  • by 23Skidoo on February 1st, 2010

    23Skidoo

    I guess you could say they got more than they could handle - more depression, more bad luck, more unhappiness...

    But not from God. There is no such thing.

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  • by Bob on July 22nd, 2008

    Bob

    maybe not. isn't suicide one way of handling it? it might not be the procedure that any of us would commit to, but, it is one way of handling difficult situations and it, undoubtedly, requires some courage to execute the act.

    i think that yours is an insightful, brilliant question, thank you!!!

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  • by Nick from New York on September 11th, 2007

    Nick from New York

    You know what, that saying is the absolute stupidist thing I have heard. Say that to the starving kids dying by the thousands every day. People with horrible diseases, people tourtured. (Usually in the name of God) God says you can handle it. Wake up, God is a fairytale.

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  • by shrinkess on November 25th, 2008

    shrinkess

    I don't think that saying is true.

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  • by His Lordship... has left on October 15th, 2009

    His Lordship... has left

    Apparently so.

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  • by Nightwatchdog on October 15th, 2009

    Nightwatchdog

    Well - there are many reasons to commit suicide and stress is only one of them....

    Perhaps God has over judged on what people can handle, or perhaps He is just screwing with people for some Goddish reason of his own.

    Most likely it's just because these are trying times and some people just give in to easily because life hasn't taught them how to deal with stress properly.

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  • by Vaporeongirl on October 15th, 2009

    Vaporeongirl

    Some people just have too much faith in God, that's all. I don't believe that God actually cares that much for us or makes sure we don't have too much to deal with in our lives.

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  • by The Crimson Magician on October 15th, 2009

    The Crimson Magician

    People commiting suicide is a selfish act. They can handle the pain, they just DONT WANT TO. Sadly thats another reason why people cut themselves across instead of down. They dont have the guts to cut down, but they have the guts to use physical pain to TRY and end the emotional pain. Of course that back fires cause now u have a physical scar that will always remind u of the emotional pain. People just dont have "balls" sometimes.

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  • by Ray Del Sol on October 15th, 2009

    Ray Del Sol

    I do not know about God, you would have to ask him/her, but I know that what makes the difference in people's lives by and large is nothing but ATTITUDE.

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  • by andblack on April 16th, 2009

    andblack

    no those people just dont have god in their life. god is not there for those people who dont him there remember that

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  • by Twisted Taco on January 16th, 2010

    Twisted Taco

    Crock-O-Shit

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  • by Temporary Name on October 15th, 2009

    Temporary Name

    euhh.. maybe there is no guy on a cloud orcestrating your live. Maybe it´s up to you. Just maybe..

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  • by Anonymous on November 25th, 2008

    Anonymous

    I have been looking for some inspiration to help me as we come to the first year since my brother took his own life after the loss of his wife in a car accident 2 months prior. It's funny those are the exact words I said in my speech.In the end it was his choice & he knew the hurt, anger & pain that would follow( and I respect others views but am not interested in hearing them) I love him unconditionally and miss him. So maybe the lesson in life is about us and how we come thru this. I have a sister who lost her husband thru a heart attack 18 years ago, yet what she has achieved since then is amazing. Her choice was to face life and she is reaping the rewards. It is an individual choice to live no matter how much love and support we give them it comes down to choice.

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More Questions. Additional questions in this category.

You're reading One of my mother's all time favorite sayings is "God never gives us more than we can handle". I also hear it from others. If this is true, why do people commit suicide every day? Didn't they get more than they could handle? - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • If Deity gives us no more than we can handle, why do we have suicides?

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