ANSWERS: 5
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This was 40 years ago, is this REALLY that big of a deal? =/
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Yes, if you are told something so personal and with him knowing that she hated me of course it is hurtful because he had lied for most of our married life. It may have been 40 years ago to him, but i have only just found out.
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It seems odd that he would tell you now when it was that long ago. Are you sure there isn't something more recent going on?
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It must be such a disappointment to you to know that your husband cheated on you. Even though it has been 40 years it must still hurt. Why did he tell you? Was it something that he still felt guilty over? He's carried this for 40 years and if you have no other suspicions I would let it go. You have a right to be angry though. I wonder if his brother knows.
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It is a big deal since, for you, it just happened regardless of the timeline. The part that just happened to you is NOW, not 40 years ago. He did this to make himself feel better. He lived with the guilt and didn't want to do so any longer. Not cool to dump it on you after all this time!! What he obviously doesn't get is that now all the pain is fresh for you and something that you may or may not get over. You will most likely have to go through all the steps to rebuild your marriage that you would have needed to take 40 years ago, had you known then, IF you decide to rebuild your marriage. Otherwise, he's out the door. Does he not get this? Is he this dense? Your marriage will never be the same again. Everything changed with his letting go of his guilt. Shame on him twice over!!!!!!!
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