ANSWERS: 2
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She can't 'keep' a 25 year old from doing what they want. There is some collusion here from the youngest. The way you paint it her 'baby' is happy to be a victim. You can't stop her loving all her kids. You can't stop her from wanting to be useful and needed and important, nor can you stop her fearing the opposite. That's just human nature and its in all of us. You CAN give her other ways to feel like that, and you can work on the child to get a backbone and step out of this comfort zone, or give them the support and encouragement to leave that their mother can't or won't give, if they ask for it. Don't step in uninvited or else you will just become a second mother and get stuck in the same 'provider' dynamic. Sour the milk.
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Unless you mean he is physically restrained, you can't do much. If this is a friend tell her how it appears to you, and how you feel it might be better for her son if he grew up. If this is not a friend, butt out.
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