I'm 21, a guy, and a virgin. I don't know what to make of it anymore. I quit worrying about it when I was 19, honestly. It will happen when it will happen. The way I look at it is simple: there's more to life than girls. Once you quit caring you enjoy life more. Just live your life and have sex when you are ready. But if you wanna hear my story here it goes:
Ever since I started getting into girls (at 12) that was my main objective, to do it, with someone enough decent looking who could keep my erection up. As shallow as it may sound, that was my main mentality (90% of the time) up until I hit 17. I had three girlfriends. One at 13, and two at 14. The first one was highly religious and didn't even properly make out with me (lasted 4 months), second one was a bad girlfriend who didn't know how to make a guy feel good (in plain terms) (lasted 3 months), third one I barely even got a chance to know her (lasted 3 weeks). Up until I was 17 I can say that I only had one realistic shot at having sex with someone that was alright looking. I had a shot at 14, I was getting a hand job off this girl that was 13 AND a virgin at a party, and so I guess I probably could have done it if I wanted to (I will never know now), but I decided to pass it up, because I felt like a stereotypical douchebag that chicks go for and cry about later, and I guess I would have felt bad for taking her virginity without really knowing anything about her and she knew basically little to nothing about me other than my name and that we go to the same school together. She seemed like a "normal" girl outside of parties, so I thought it'd be best if she'd do it with a loving boyfriend, so I passed it up and was happy with the hand job, but I later found out that she did it a half a year later with some randomer at a beach in Florida (go figure!). Sometimes I regretted not doing it with her, but other times I thought I did the right thing. Now this is ancient history to me, so it doesn't really matter I guess (as far as my self-esteem and experience goes). But anyway, I got a little off topic here... all in all that was my mentality up until I hit 17. With every single year I was becoming more obsessed with it. (I might want to include that I moved countries, from USA to Poland at 16) Then one day, when i was 16, I told myself, if I don't get this past me before I turn 17 I should just quit giving a fuck. And yes, I failed, I went to parties, tried to get it on with some girls, made out with some, fondled some, but nothing more, I failed (this was my last summer visit in America, where girls are more liberated; I haven't been to the U.S. since). So at 17 I just took it a lot more easy. Unfortunately this was the age where my best buds were losing their virginity and you know how guys are about their masculinity at that age in high school.... when confronted with "THE QUESTION" I decided to lie that I had sex with this old female friend of mine that lived in the previous country that I lived in, told them a brief story how it went down, shown them a picture of a semi-decent looking, but not really cute girl to make it believable and they bought it all and after that we all sort of matured up a bit and quit asking each other about that kind of stuff - so I was off the hook and I avoided the ridicule in high school. After 17 I started thinking about the possibility of dating girls again instead of getting wasted all the time and making out with random chicks. That sort of attitude started falling in place when I became of age at 18... but still no luck, I kept on getting rejected left and right as far as relationships go. I started working out really hard at 16 and by 19 I was RIPPED (I moved to England for higher ed 2 days after my 19th birthday)! I mean Armani model toned. This was when I already moved out for university. When I was younger I always thought that guys with 6 packs and good physiques can get ass whenever they wanted to... yeah, I believed that until I became one of those guys. Boy was I wrong! What a myth! The month that I was in the best shape of my life was probably one of the loneliest episodes of my life. And I wasn't really looking for no strings attached sex anymore, I was properly interested in a stable and healthy relationship with a female. I quit drinking for 6 months as well, really cleaned my act up... but still no luck. I don't know, I didn't really feel a connection with English girls at first, but I did try to date 3, and they all rejected me. After realizing that being chiseled and muscular isn't enough, I sort of lost interest in the gym, got lazy, and my physique became quite normal again, and then slightly chubby. After my 1st year of my degree, I got my first job, and again, I had a similar experience from high school, all my co-workers were pulling girls left right and center at parties after work while I was only getting sings of interest from fat single mothers who had some of their teeth missing (welcome to England my friend). But because I was surrounded by these guys that were absolute players, I gave in and started looking for casual sex with decent looking chicks if I could find any on this island to see if anything changed in the way girls perceived me (this was when my physique was normal, not yet chubby). This was the summer between year 1 and year 2 of university (higher ed). AGAIN, NO LUCK! So just like when I was 17, a couple months shy of my 20th birthday I quit caring, I REALLY REALLY quit caring, started growing my hair out (I'm still growing it out) because although I look a lot better with short hair, I always wanted to have long hair for some time and since I wasn't getting anywhere with girls, I said why not? I'll do what I want, it won't make a difference anyhow lol And then things started getting better for me a year later shortly before the summer between year 2 and year 3 and that lasted up until nowish sort of. My attitude was very optimistic, my self-esteem was pretty low, I became unemployed and moved back to Poland from England, I wouldn't say I was confident, I got chubby because by then I had not worked out for 1.5 years, I got braces on my teeth(!!!) and like I said I didn't really care I wasn't really jumping at the sight of tits anymore... and IRONICALLY I dated 5 girls in the space of 4 months. Yes. I repeat: I was able to date 5 different girls at least once in the space of 4 months! WTF?! Anywho, I was able to get some dates!!! Who would have known! I wasn't on a proper date since I was 14!! I didn't really get anywhere that summer, probably because I was moving back to finish my degree after that summer (this was last year), but nevertheless this was a huge success! I have huge room for improvement, but AT LEAST I'm starting to get somewhere. Anywho, I'm 21 now I started working out several months back again and I'm getting in real great shape, my confidence is back up, but I'm real humble now and mature and I'm trying to keep it that way, because I suppose acting like God's gift to women may get you some action at parties and night clubs, it won't make girls want to date you, so I choose indifference than acting being needy and a pervert. I quit drinking after my 21st birthday and this may go on for a while (being tea total). Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm 21 and still a virgin, but I just quit caring anymore. I just reached this mental state where sex is not really a big deal for me anymore and I just don't want it as much as I used to (I used to think about it 24/7 and my libido was high as hell now I'm just like pfff whatever). I'll be cutting my hair off the same day they'll be taking my braces off (in 6 months) I'll have perfectly straight teeth and this will be shortly after I graduate from my BA degree, so I will have an alright job by then... who knows, maybe I'll meet a girl then? I'm more interested in other things now, like learning Spanish, working out, reading books, focusing on my education, and planning out business plans. I'm no where near the guy I was when I was an adolescent. I changed so freaking much lmao.
SHARE YOUR STORY. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF BEING A VIRGIN?
Comments
awwww *hearts*
i like you.
you're so honest.
this is what girls like me wish we could hear all the time.
i'm bisexual because i can feel a lot for girls. but also because a lot of guys are jerks.. [simply put] but i have found some nice guys here on AB.
you are my hero. :D
by BLUE LOTUS 935618 on January 6th, 2012
Who do you think will actually read all that ????
by calmwaters1 on January 6th, 2012
obviously you're a dude..
i read it :D
by BLUE LOTUS 935618 on January 6th, 2012
You're fine. At least you know what you want and you know when you want it. You just don't flow with just any wind.
by susan_madari on January 7th, 2012
well I certainly didn't expect to be anyone's hero after posting this lol but thanks for the kind words :)
by JC85cap on January 8th, 2012