ANSWERS: 11
  • If nothing else it would be a tremendous sign of respect for the family you are entering. The decision is ultimately a very personal one so it is up to you. I don't think putting others ahead of yourself could ever really be a bad thing.
  • if you're not religious it doesn't matter if you're confirmed, because it doesn't mean anything. you're still not catholic, you're not following any religion, you're just going through the motions to please the family. and i suppose doing it would make both your husband and his family happy indeed of coruse if you feel uncomfortable don't do it. he has no right to force you to do it to get married. you can always just of a nondenominational wedding, hell, even a vegas wedding.
  • I do not think it is wrong. Does he go to church regularly? Would he expect you to go once you are married?
  • If you are doing it for him and really love him it's fine. But if you are doing it and are not really converting or taking it seriously then be careful. Does he know why you are doing this? And are you planning on converting? I don't see anything wrong with doing this for him and his family. But stay strong to your beliefs. Let him know why you are doing this and that it doesn't mean the same to you. And it would be a very nice ceremony, I'm sure.
  • No, not wrong, as long as everyone knows how you feel and that your conversion is merely legal and not spiritual. You seem to want to avoid the appearance of hypocrisy. Will you continue to participate in religious activities to please others? Will your kids be baptized? Does your husband-to-be value religion? You are setting a precedent, can you continue? These are just a few complications. Only you know how serious they will be. Is there a more "honest" marriage arrangement that you may be comfortable with? In the long run, it is what you and your husband want and how you intend to live that answers this question. Best of luck. And kisses to the bride! PS: I see you have added a bit. So, go ahead and do the church thing. I feel this is what you really want to do and no reasonable person will criticize you for it.
  • I'm not sure what this means in the Catholic religion. But you shouldn't make any promises that you don't mean.
  • You had better have better reasons than "for his parents sake and the beauty of the setting". You are heading for a disastrous marriage unless you truly know in your heart this is what you want for YOU and no one else. Determine what you want in your marriage before you make this leap. Although I have many friends whom are Catholic I do not hold with many of the Catholicism beliefs of the church. I recommend you put a hold on any marriage date until you are absolutely as sure this is what you want and the reasons you want it. Talk to your husband to be and explain any misgivings or unsure feelings.
  • Did you grow up Catholic? If not, you will need more than confirmation. There is a process that leads up to confirmation first.
  • Both partners do not have to be Catholic in order to be sacramentally married in the Catholic Church, but both must be baptized Christians (and at least one must be a Catholic). You can marry as a non Christian but you will need permission from the Bishop, this will be classed as a natural marriage but not a sacramental one. You might want to think on this if their religion is a big part of their life, but if it isn't a problem to you, then get baptised and get married.
  • Well...it seems both deceptive and lacking in integrity. It's an almost classical case of the moral question, "Do the ends justify the means?" Christian philosophy has always answered: "The ends NEVER justify the means." *** But there's more to that answer than meets the eye at first. Sometimes (rarely, but it does happen) there is a situation in which ALL perceivable choices involve immorality. So: what is more immoral? To lie about being a devout Catholic (allowing you to marry in church), or to be honest and NOT marry in church? *** Certainly the first choice is immoral in means - i.e. in the actions taken. IS the second choice immoral either in action or in consequences? If it is, is it MORE immoral than the first choice? THAT is what you ought to decide. *** IN MY OPINION, it is ALWAYS best to be honest and to act with integrity. If I were in your situation - with your feeling toward religion - I would NOT become Catholic. To do so would be too great a deception, too great a lack of integrity...but I say that as a Christian who BECAUSE I am a Christian values personal honesty and integrity.
  • I don't believe "Are you Catholic" is part of the ceremony. If you want to remain unaffiliated, you should be able to. It doesn't take anything away from having a formal ceremony in a church setting if that's what his parents would like to see. But if they insist that you become a Catholic, run away as fast as you can. If they can't accept you as you are, then they are too judgemental. If you allow them to run your life this early in the game, you're in for a rough marriage.

Copyright 2020, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy