• im 21 and my mom puts me b4 my step-father it could be for many reasons, was he always there when they were growing up? Are they closer with their mom? Whats the situation? i mean they are his children, they are always gonna come first.... i wouldnt take it to personally u would know where to draw the line if u had to
  • I am in the same boat, I have been with my husband for 7 years, we have only been married 7 months. He resents having to help me out financially, we do not share any accounts, or money, we even split the grocery's!!! His daughter from a 1st marriage uses blackmail {I won;t talk to you anymore dad, if you don't give me what I want} Manipulates him to no end, and he feels like he will lose her if he does not give into her selfishness... Mind you this daughter of his is 19 going on 20 years old very soon. It has reached the point where I am bitter, angry and filled with total resentment... He told me not to make him choose between us!!!... He has a son 18 that does not want to work, dad pays his insurance, gas money, cell phone.... Neither one of these spoiled self centered children never call their dad unless they want something. He knows all of this is true, he doesn't deny any of it, but has the DADDY GUILT because of the threats his adult children make!!! It is fighting a losing battle, BLOOD IS THICKER THAN A MARRIAGE LICENCE!!!
  • Based on the information given and in order to keep your sanity along with a more positive direction in the relationship you need to have a very frank conversation that clealry spells out how awful you feel, and how you're going to fix this problem together or if he prefers apart. I know it's easier said then done; but, honestly you're more guilty than he is for not drawing some very definite lines for him not to cross. What you need to do is communicate what the consequences will be if the problem isn't resolved. If you fail not to provide him with some definitive perameters on what you will and won't tollerate; your words are falling on deaf ears and you're dignity is being walked on. The only way one becomes a door mat is if they allow it. You really need to take some ownership here on your own failure of not making it clear what the consequences will be if this slop and crap goes on. If you fail to define the consequences to him, and in turn fail to draw the line with him when he's gone to farr; well, then your more guilty than he is for allowing others to walk all over you. Now go have a cup of coffee or tea and think about it. Good luck
  • In a similar situation- He (my man) spoils his teen because he feels he needs to make up for the thirteen years his mom abandoned him for. Now she has decided to be his mother(after walking out on him not leaving any of her prada or high heels behind as a baby) after marrying some guy that has kids and gave my man's son a baby brother so the teen can clean up after everyone. So though we used to have him he lives with his mom now and everytime he comes to visit us he complains about how mean his mom is and how unfair things are even though he could have chosen to live with us. I can't stand how I have to live with the mistake my fiance made all those years ago knowing what would happen without a condom (he says him and his ex didn't have sex- she needed visa and they were friends so he married her) and I'm still angry with him for not explaining to his son that although it was his choice to go with his mom, it was the wrong choice because he knew what she was like while he visited her when he lived with us. Now I have this grown teen always complaining about her when I have no office in my home so he can have privacy in a room of his own that he may use once or twice a month in an expensive condo on the beach. When we drive him back to his mom it is over an hour trip each way and he is never happy but it looks like he wishes he should have stayed on the water with his dad who was actually there all his life. I bought the kid a skateboard after his dad took away the lord of warcraft which was always starting arguements between my fiance and I. All three of us are skateboarders. I've been waiting for months to be invited skating and nothing. My fiance even takes my board without asking, they have done it so often. I just back off and let them have all the time in the world that they can together and they both act like theirselves when I'm not around so I'm grateful for that. My fiance won't even kiss me after dinner prayer at the table if his son is visiting. I may say bad words sometimes unlike my fiance when his grown teen is visiting but I can't help that I am always myself in front of anyone and everyone. It hurts everyday.

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