The legal aspects of this should be handled through the court system. The bottom line is, does your son want to see him? Children should never be put into the middle of this kind of dispute. If your son wants to see his dad, it should be allowed no matter what problems transpire between you and the father.

I have been going through the same thing for 11 years now. I have no contact w/ him, but my daughter can call him whenever she wants. I let her try to keep the contact, I will never stop her from seeing him if it is what my daughter wants

I HAVE TO ADD, MY SON IS ONLY 10 MONTHS OLD AND IVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF HIM BY MYSELF SINCE DAY 1! HIS DAD IS INTO BAD THINGS AND ONLY WANTS TO SEE HIMN WHEN ITS CONVENIENT FOR HIM! HE WONT PAY FOR ANYTHING AND SOMETIMES GOES 2 TO 3 WEEKS BEFORE HE WANTS TO SEE HIM!

Take him to court. He will have to pay and the judge will set up times when he can see the child..You should get some legal help though.

Go through the courts and make it legal that way you have leverage if you think things are dangerous for your son.

I think you should let, him see his child, but I would suggest you go to family services, and they will make him pay and set up a visiting schedule, for you. Please dont base your child being with the father, over money, it isnt fair to your child.

society without the father discusses the importance of a dad in a child's life. some dads may be monsters and exceptions ought to be made. in most cases, children should be given the chance to be with, grow with their dads. child support is another matter which merits direct discussion. i wonder what you mean by "his terms".

love your son more than you hate his dad. does he want to see his dad? is visiting your son "up for the highest bidder?" if there is a next time "play house" with a more responsible man-in the meantime all this BY MYSELF drama is called motherhood.

My children's father contributed as little as the law allowed and took them out to dinner once a week. EVERYTHING else was on my plate. I chose him to be the father of my children. There's no other decision a woman makes in her life than who she's going to allow to be the father of her children and she either suffers with it or regales in it for the next 20 years. A father is a very important aspect of a childs life and formation. I vote he sees his father but on a mutually agreed upon time frame.

PLEASE take my advice from someone whose been there & done that. NEVER keep your child from the father BUT make sure he's safe. If he has a drug or alcohol problem then have someone YOU trust as a supervisor. If you keep him from his dad, whether right or wrong, he'll grow up hating you

i would say yes i am in the same situation as you i support my daughter on my own but i have to do what i can for my daughter all i will say is make it on your terms you tell him a time every week that suits you if he cant make it tough but then you are giving him the oppertunity to see your son

Well, my initial reaction was "NO! You don't get to decide what part of parenting you want to participate in!" but now that I've read the other respondents, I am not so sure about that. Instead, my advice is to just make sure your son is safe and then make sure that you have legal recourse if that's ever not the case.

bottom line, love your son AND yourself above all others. If you have a dead beat dad on yor hands but he's a ok guy then dont keep your son from him if your ok with him as a person outside of the finacial problem. he is a child and if his dad is going to be bouncing in and out of his life then thats your child and your call but he does need to take care of business sooner or later.

First, go see someone like a lawyer or mediator, to get some advice on how to get some support from this guy and work out a visitation agreement you both can stick to, sounds like he wants to take the child when it is convenient FOR HIM, and that is not good for the child, it becomes this irregular, sometimes spur of the moment thing and if you are not on good terms with the father, which is what it sounds like, it is stressing you out as well, plus you can't make plans, you just have to live by HIS schedule. Another bit of advice I learned was to speak to the Ministry of Children and Family to help speed up the process of custody/access/support. However, he WANTS to be part of this child's life, so don't take that away from the child if you think it will be beneficial TO THE CHILD. I don't know what this guy is about, but my ex still wants to see his kids, and I will never take that away from them, I hate dealing with him, but that is their dad, plain and simple. Don't make your son resent you for not "letting" his dad see him. I live in Canada. I did have to get an interim order for visitation because he was just taking them when it was convenient, changing the plans while they were over there, telling THEM the plan before talking to me...it just wasn't good. I tried every avenue first, before taking it to the court, I asked him to sit down, then asked him to go to a mediator...He was determined to do things HIS way, but I thought of my kids first and dealt with it accordingly.

I dont think finances should determine the relationship your son has with his father. Let him have his 1 day a week. You dont want your son thinking that finances is the driving force of this family....Good luck