ANSWERS: 15
  • If you were my daughter, you would have no choice in the matter - you would marry the father of your baby and keep quiet about it. If not because of my own old fashioned views on the matter, then because I don't want the neighbors talking. And if he had not offered to marry you, there would be a shot gun marriage. That means he would be forced to marry you. After all he defiled the flower of my heart, and too I don't want the neighbors talking. I'm rather old fashioned about these sorts of things. Ask my nephew who I have given endless grief because he did not do the right thing. Ultimately the choice is yours. And frankly I do not know you so I am not emotionally invested in your future. I could not care less what you do. But I do have a drop of empathy for the child, and I must wonder what lies in store for him/her since you are so self consumed to think about your needs over his/her needs. Plenty of people marry for the sake of the children. Many more remain married long after the love has died - for the sake of the children. You obviously felt something for the BF since you and he did married folks activities. To be blunt - had sex. I suggest you back up a few steps and figure out where you placed that love that allowed you to go and get yourself knocked up. BTW contrary to Hollywood fairytale movies, knocked up girls and women with children do not find "Prince Charming" the "perfect man" and marry and live happily ever after. In fact contrary to all of those stories we rarely do meet the Perfect Person - and we rarely marry The One. there are no 'happily ever-afters' in the real world. In the real world we fall in love and we discover that love is not hot passion for eternity. Love cools, doesn't matter who you are. People have problems - you won't always like the person you are with. you will scream and fight and have off years. But that is all part and parcel of being human and being in a relationship. No matter who you do marry - eventually the honeymoon will end. So this is your choice. Marry the dude who has some emotional investment to your "happiness" and well being - if only because he feels a duty to the unborn child. Or do it singly, and see how fun it is too raise a kid on your own, and find out through experience how few men actually want to date a mom. Either way it most likely will be a compromise.
    • Mushen
      With respect, thank God the world has moved on from this outlook.
  • No. Marry him because you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him. If you don't want that, then don't marry him. A home where you're unhappy is NOT a good home for your baby. It's far better for a child to have two happy parents in separate homes than have both parents in one home where they're unhappy. Being a single parent is tough, but not impossible. Certainly, it's no tougher than being married to someone you don't even love.
  • Don't get married if it's not for you. It's not worth it in my opinion. Children can grow up happy and healthy when their parents aren't living together, and I think that would be better for them than growing up in a home where their mum is unhappy, and thinking that's the norm. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck.
  • My sister did that and it worked out horribly. I would recommend giving your child up for adoption or abortion if you can't take care of it by yourself.
  • NO. Marry for love, not because of a child. If you don't love him, you will create an unhappy and unhealthy environment for your child. If you are unable or unwilling to raise this child by yourself, there are other options.
  • My sister too is in this situation. She came to my other sister and I before the wedding and said she felt she had to "do the right thing" and we told her that we would support any decision she made but that she didn't have to marry him. I can't remember the last time i saw my sister truly happy. Please only marry this man if you love him. I see how it's affecting my nephew and how my once bubbly happy sister is sad and miserable all the time. Not only that but even though she loves her son to death I think that sometimes she resents him because he's what tied her to my brother in law. I do not want that for your baby!
  • ok leave him and raise your child by yourself until you find someone you will fall in love with him and help to raise your child.
  • My advice to you is no. It doesn't sound like the two of you would be happy and I really don't think it's right for anyone to marry someone "just because" the girl got pregnant. I don't care if your parents don't want the neighbours talking and I don't care if your boyfriend doesn't want people knowing about it. Is it right to enter into a bad marriage because of gossip? In my opinion, it is not. You say that you do not love your boyfriend. Can you even see yourself loving him at all? Right now, you need to take care of your baby who is inside you and not necessarily worry about the stresses of marriage. Your baby's health is the most important thing right now in my opinion. I don't understand how people think marrying this guy is "for the sake of the baby". In my opinion, it isn't. I do have someone I am close to who is with a guy she shouldn't be with for the sake of their baby and it's annoying. I don't think she should be with him because he is not a very nice person at all. I don't know if the guy you're with is like that or not, but I'm just putting this out there.
  • NO NO NO.. thats a really bad idea. why would you want to marry someone you didn't love? are you going to have the child? this all just sounds bad all around :(
  • No!! that will only casue grief. dont get married unless you love the guy...
  • I think some of you guys are being real jerks. I am in a very similar situation and it's not her fault. And plenty of men want to date a girl that has a child, especially the "better ones" the ones that don't just want to shack up for a one nighter. The only thing is it's very hard to believe another man could love your child more than the father himself but if the father is willing to be around then the child will get fatherly love. If not, then you may get lucky and meet someone that will fall in love with your child as much as he is in love with you. I feel for you because I am in a similar situation. Best of luck. If you want to write me an email it's jessica.galiano@yahoo.com would love to chat with you and find out how things turned out for you.
  • No, you shouldnt have to marry him or feel as if you have to. But you need to keep in mind that a baby is alot of work so you need to make sure you have that support system at home or within your family/friend circle. If you arent sure what to say, I'd vote to give it up for adoption (not like my opinion matters but hey), there are always willing families who will take in a child (especially babies) and can finically support it. If you choose to keep him, you should probably let him be involved in the kids life...he may be able to help pay for the child. Take the relationship slow and maybe you two will fall in love.
  • You are going to live the liberal American dream. The baby will live separately from his/her father. You're going to force the father to pay child support. And the father and child will never enjoy all of those special moments together..........congratulations
  • Absolutely not. You don't love him he just happens to be the father of your baby. Gone are the days when we demonized single mothers and worried more about what people thought than anything else. Do as you wish.
  • No. You do not. Once you have that kid put yourself on birth control .

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