• "Moooom, get me my G*DD*MN* CHOCOLATE MILK! B*TCH!"
  • Our daughters love the outdoors and can't wait for it to snow. As soon as the weather turns cold they constantly ask "when's it going to snow"? One day in particular they kept asking over and over and my husband finally said "Only Jesus knows when it's going to snow". My oldest daughter looked at him for a moment and then said "Can you call his cell phone and ask him for me"?
  • My nephews have the strangest imaginations of any kids I have ever met. These boys can make up stories that you wouldn't believe, and NO ONE, even their parents, knows where they come up with some of the things they say. Anyway, I was at my sister's house and we had just left the hospital after my grandma passed and the kids were asking me if it was my grandma too, how did she die, and all those curious kid questions. Well, after I explained to them as best I could my 5 year old nephew says..."Well, one time my grandma died too (all his grandparents are alive) cause she got shot right in the heart with an arrow.....and it looked like a decoration!"
  • when asked why not to give people dogs for christmas... "because theyre too hard to wrap up"
  • my grandmother has bad teeth i mean real bad and my mom said that when i was little that i asked her grandma why dont you brush your teeth and my mom said it was everything she had to hold back her laugh funny huh
  • When my cousin was about 3, she was at the table eating a bowl of cereal. She dropped her spoon, then looked at her mom, and said, "Get me a spoon, buttocks." I about died..
  • I told my daughter she should take a nap and she told me "But Mom, I'm not crying yet"
  • I'm just your inner child because you never had one yet or "Where's my $2.00 to buy a bowl of rice today? After all you sponsored me!" while I get this on my cell phone, lol.
  • I tell my granddaughter it time to go to bed i tell her goodnight she tells me no papos goodmorning!
  • my niece and I were eating dinner this week. She was going to share with everyone. I told her that she could have some of my meal too. I said in an exaggerated excited voice, "I got Noodles with shrimp and chicken and beef....mmmmmm" and she looked at me with those bright eyes and she was so happy...she said, "WOW, I love Sushi" I laughed and told her that isn't sushi. She looked confused and then asked, "Shrimp isn't sushi?" I then realized how smart that little bugger was

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