ANSWERS: 58
  • Sounds like it's time for a new G/F. Sorry.
  • No, it's certainly not, but perhaps she does not define it as 'flirting'. Maybe your definition on flirting differ, you should sit down with her and tell her how you feel about it and both agree on what's acceptable and what's not.
  • Perhaps it's normal for her. The bigger question is, is this outside of your expectations for the relationship? Did you discuss such things? Why or why not? You need to address this right away. Perhaps what she sees as innocent flirting and friendly touching is perceived differently by you. Communication, communication, communication. Good luck!
  • i dont personally think this is normal. if she is your g/f she only should flirt and touch you. i wouldnt keep going out with her.
  • No, it's certainly not u must talk to her
  • flirting is normal. I am a flirt by nature but would never cheat on my boyfriend. If it ever turns into them hangin out or such then start worrying. Until then, it is prob innocent.
  • I can't say it's cheating or not. In my country it is and is also a serious shame for the masculinity of the man. It's a disrespect. You should have a serious communication with her, letting know you're uncomfortable with it. Stablish limits for both of you. Good luck!!
  • I think for some women it is normal, same with some men, they flirt because they are insecure..or so I have heard.
  • Friendly flirting is not too bad but it would depend apon the kind of touching. Flirting is inbuilt in some people . If you find it upsetting , tell her it embarrasses you.
  • Not with any women I have dated.
  • Dear JD, How long have you two been together? Are you on the same wavelength/page as your girlfriend in viewing what you two and where you two are at in the relationship right now? I mean, if she still sees it as casual dating between the two, then it is normal, assuming if you are in a individualistic/western society. (In any collectivist culture(E.g. Asian), it'd be abnormal really, so in this case, the term normal really depends on where you are right now). However, if you are both on the same page, and have been together for quite a reasonable amount of time, then I guess this is not normal. Is this something she started doing recently? Or was this who she was from the start? (You could have ignored this side of her because you liked/loved her at that point, and as we all know, that stage of a relationship is blinding). However, even after all these self-questions have been answered and you still feel that it is not normal, I suggest you talk to her about it. Also, you want to inspect your own expectations of her, and try to be reasonable about it. She is your girlfriend, don't make her feel suffocated. Flirting is fine, as long as it is within the respectful bounds towards the relationship and does not harm the relationship. Anymore than that, it's wrong in my opinion. Cheers.
  • it's normal for women who cheat... no, man, it's not cool. I would say something to her. She's probably going to make you feel bad, like you are just being jealous but this is actually HER problem. Dont let her make you feel bad for feeling uncomfortable with this
  • no.. well I don't know.. It really depends where she is touching them and what she is saying. If she is play hitting them and telling jokes.. I'm sure its not a big deal.... if you know what I mean.
  • I depends on the degree of touching and flirting, I think. My wife is very friendly, and she has a 'way' with the men, but she's not phony, at all, if you understand me. But, she is comfortable touching or laying her hands on a man. She will readily 'feel your shirt', for example, of touch your arm when she's talking to you. For some women, that is a natural thing. I guess it's up to you to decide if she's being friendly flirty or inappropriate. The one thing I 'will' tell you is that if she is naturally a warm and touchy person, trying to beat that out of her will make her absolutely MISERABLE and she'll resent you for it, in the end. The relationship will never last if you can't allow her to be who she is, providing she is just being 'herself' and not trying to prove she can get any man she wants. There is a big difference between those two types of women. It's up to you to determine which type your girl is, and if you can handle it, in either case. Personally, I love the comfortable way my wife behaves with people. She's warm and friendly, but doesn't give the wrong impression to anyone who doesn't want to read more into it than there really is. :)
  • Funny... I had that problem too... I put an end to it (basically said if it kept happening our relationship was over). and it stopped immediately! The down side is that if it is simply normal for her and there is nothing "funny" going on you have just forced her to make a change in herself.... or.... force innocent characteristics into a little "brain jail" Which will constantly remind her that you are controlling and oppressive. For my part if she can't accept it happily then we're not the right match and it is best for both of us if we call it quits.
  • When i talk to people regardless of their gender I touch their arm.....i use my hands when i talk and touching their arm is part of this as well as being friendly, it doesnt mean i fancy them at all.
  • would it be normal if you touched and flirt with other girls? I dont think so. Good luck with that one.
  • It depends on the type of person they are. Me and my Gf have a 'open' relationship you could say i.e. that we can flirt and 'touch' other people, to a certain degree, as long as we stay within rules that we have agreed upon. Maybe try something like this? It works quite well for me :D
  • hi my partner flirts with other women hug and kiss on the cheek, on the other hand i do to to other men this i c as fine as we both agree on limits and if the other felt uncomfertable it would stop! no questions asked i would talk to her tell her how you feel and if she had respect for you she would apolagise she didnt realize it would hurt you and stop! good luck
  • I think your answer is gonna be a question back to u.. Does IT BOTHER YOU? Forget normal... how do u feel when she does it?
  • it's a balant disrepect, especially if she/he is with you. Whether she or he with with you on an outting or not they should resepct the realtionship and you. Just talk it over calmly, let them know loving what is bothering you. If it continues than you have to decide how to handle it it. You don't want it the hurt or anger building inside you and changing the way you interact with the other. Good luck (I am having the problem, ha!)
  • It may be normal for her....but how do you feel about it? If it makes you uncomfortable and she refuses to stop, then she is being disrespectful to you. That may be normal for her too. Is that what you want?
  • I'm a touchy feely person... There is a line, and I do not cross it.
  • Is it normal? Maybe it is for her. Does that mean it's right? No. She is obviously hurting you, so I think you should talk to her about it. If she makes excuses for being the way she is, I will go as far as to say that she probably cares more about herself than she cares about you. I'm really not trying to be mean, but I know the feeling, and that's how I feel when things like that happen to me. I feel like the person doesn't care about me at all and that his feelings are more important than mine. Maybe you feel this way about your girlfriend. I don't know. It is very possible, though. So, yeah, talk to her. If she really loves you, she will listen or she should listen and consider your needs. If you feel insecure, in my opinion, she is the direct cause of that insecurity you are feeling. I realize I might get hated for this answer, but I don't care. Someone needs to say it.
  • If this is her normal personality, then yes. If she's only flirting with a certain person...well, no.
  • No it is not normal My GF would NEVER do that! She is loyal honest and I adore her....
  • Oh no. Kick her to the curb. She doesn't seem faithful if she 'touches' other men.
  • If she's naturally like that, it's totally normal. If it really bothers you I suppose you could talk to her.
  • a little flirting is okay, but touching? she shouldn't be doing that if she's in a relationship.
  • yes that is very normal..when she thinks she can walk over you get it!
  • No, it's disrespectful. I know you can get a nicer girl. Good luck! :D
  • Perfectly normal. Do you guys want to go to lunch with me?
  • i would say no. if my girlfriend did, there would be some serious problems.
  • flirt ahhh OK maybe she really needs it but touches???? what do you mean?
  • Well, your girlfriend may not relize she is flirting or may not relize its hurting you talk to her and try to explain what she is doing! trust me it works my boyfriend talked to me because (ur girlfriend may be like me on this) i dont really get the whole flirt thing and dont know whn im doing it so you should do what my boyfriend does and tell your girl when she is flirting and to stop!
  • It is if she isn't committed to you.
  • I would have to say that this is not normal. What is even more distrubing is that she seems to be doing it right in front of you. Here is my advice....break it off with her and go find a nice young woman will treat you with respect.
  • it usually is normal but personally i would be still jealous if she flirted other men and not me. I honestly would try to piss off the guy she flirted wit
  • I've NEVER dated anyone I had to worry about this with UNTIL NOW! Trust me, i don't want a robot who sits in the corner and obeys my every command. I want a fun G/F! But why does fun always have to be getting to within 6 inches of anothers guys face, or leaning on them, or arm around them when we go out together to pubs/restaurants? I'm a VERY non jealous, laid back man and have had my previous two long term relationships (one marraige) both tell me how i was so much different than most men and that i was the most secure person they were ever with. It's not about jealousy or insecurity, it's about respect. I had my g/f basically talk with the same person for over 2 hours, brush me off in light hearted conversation, and then had the GUY stand up and make a comment to me that was over the top rude (it's your birthday, your a REAL MAN now) Being it was someone's house i didn't cause a scene but want to talk about a slap to the face. When he said it, she sat there, didn't defend didnt' say a word, and i even got a look from this other guys g/f like (what is going on w/ these two) COMMON SENSE, BOUNDARIES, AND RESPECT!
  • Absolutely not. She sounds like the type of person you can't trust. I had a friend like that, and I told her boyfriend that she was flirting with other men and that she told them that she wanted to be in a relationship with them also.
  • It's normal for women that are big time flirts. And I hope that she's not doing it front of you, that would be so wrong.
  • yeah pretty much, some girls just can't help it. honestly, if she liked you enough, she wouldn't do it. that's how it was with me.
  • I'm having the same problem... I totally agree with Taylor about letting her be who she is... However, resting her hand on the upper thy and playfully pinching behinds, is just too much for me... Especially when she just meets the person. I mean its funny the first two times, but it can't go all night. I've told her kindly not to do it, but she just shuts down for the rest of the night... Then I feel like an a-hole. I don't care if she pinches limbs, or even sides... You can even see how some people's faces change when she does it, its uncomfortable for them. And I've expressed this all to her calmly, but she just doesn't care for the "criticism"... I just don't know how I could express myself any more clear. If there is any advice I can get here, I'd appreciate it so much!
  • Yes, if she's an extrovert. Some women do things like this without even realizing it or intending to cause harm. You could mention that it bothers you, but do so tactfully so you don't seem like a jealous fiend.
  • Definitely undesired, but normal for most women. Talk to her about it if you feel you have to, but I wouldn't take it too seriously.
  • depends if arm no harm if thigh i wouldnt like it . say it to her
  • hey she might just have that different way of being friendly. but if you don't ask her about it than it's going to swirl around in your head slowly escalating into something negative. So just ask her. if she says yes it's her being friendly not flirting than theirs your answer. but if it bothers you ask her to stop. if she respects you she'll stop. because nobody likes to see their girlfriend touch other guys. so i hope i helped.
  • For a lot of women, yes. Not most, but certainly not a small number either. This is one of those things you probably should have thought about before she became your girlfriend. I'm guessing it's not a new thing. At least, though, you can get it out of the way now, before marriage and legal commitments, so that you can either get over it, she can learn to stop (don't count on it), or you two can decide to move on.
  • Flirting? Yes and men do it every day. Touching? Oh hell no.
  • I'd say it's pretty normal if she's a vivacious, energetic gal - the kind who most guys would want to be with. If it's bothering you you should just ask her about it. Something like, 'Hey, I get uncomfortable when you touch other guys. Would you consider doing it less?' And if she freaks out, says you're over reacting or shutdown or gives you any other dramatic response THEN you know you have a problem. Negotiaion, it's what relationships are about. Good luck!
  • She's lookin for love in all the wrong places
  • um....maybe she is just a flirt....but, obviously, if it upsets you, you need to talk to her about that...really......take care....Brian.......
  • She flirts and touches, other men, I think she is not into you..
  • It may just mean that she is a physical person, and is comfortable with touching other people. It may not be that she CRAVES it so much as that's how she's used to being around people. Of course a lady I knew who acted like that cheated on her husband for years before finally leaving him.
  • Yes if it is in societies norm. Like in the middle east she would be consider loose, but in some societies it is perfectly normal. Considered more to be just a friendly person. Usually normal is defined by our own principal and sometimes we over react. I once was a teller and this guy got nasty with me because I had to get the manager over to get rid of him. He claimed that I always flirted with him and all I ever did was smile at him and say have a nice day. I was as nice with him as I was with old ladies. It was my job to smile, laugh, be helpful and make the customer feel like they were special. I never came on to him. We knew that at any a bank employee could come and shop us and we had to be the same with every customer. If there was a difference in our treatment then we would get written up.
  • I agree with many others here. Some people are just warm and friendly. This has happened to me with my GF and we are a new couple, in our 50's. I first noted her allowing men to touch her on the arm and she responded in kind, last night. These were men she knew, however, and I had just been introduced to them. At the time, these men almost had her cornered and wouldn't stop talking to her. I was actually distraught with each man when it happened. I found the best way to deal with it is to walk away to some other area of the room/bar, etc. Strike up a conversation with someone over there and just let her be. She wandered back to me. I didn't say a word about it after. I decided I will let this occur and deal with it the same way. The one thing I won't do is stand next to her and be ignored. I'll continue to walk away and let the matter cure itself. It works, kids. If she doesn't wander back over to you, she's not worth your time...move on. At the same time, don't just stand there and be taken for granted.. go be sociable with someone else for a few minutes, instead.
  • My old girlfriend did this and then she went and cheated on me! FUCK HER!

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