ANSWERS: 3
  • When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, It is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1. "Hello." "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole." Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said. "Hello, asshole," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew. NOW I feel much better. You know, this anger management stuff really works. From: http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/archives/002411.html
  • The link that you give does not work! Please provide the information again in some other form!
  • I found following information: 1) "This fancyful tale of revenge began circulating on the Internet in January 1997. It's a tale meant to be enjoyed, not dissected, but what the heck [...]" "The story's charm lies in it's theme of revenge sought and exacted." http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/jerks.asp Here the story is analysed as an urban legend. Maybe some people would have believed that it was true. 2) "Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 09:05:01 -0500 (EST) From: Keith Bostic <bostic@bostic.com> Subject: Today's fantasy. To: /dev/null@mongoose.bostic.com Forwarded-by: Dan Cross <tenser@spitfire.ecsel.psu.edu> Forwarded-by: JEFFREY ALLEN DURST <jfd6@aber.ac.uk> Forwarded-by: Bradley E Wiggins <bewst7+@pitt.edu> So there I was, sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude." Source: http://spaf.cerias.purdue.edu/~spaf/Yucks/V7/msg00004.html This was collected from an email sent on Thu, 27 Feb 1997. This email was a forwarding from the original message sent by Mr. Keith Bostic <bostic@bostic.com> . "Keith Bostic is a computer programmer from the United States. 3) Bostic was a member of the Computer Systems Research Group (CSRG) at the University of California, Berkeley, who created BSD UNIX. Among many other tasks, he led the effort at CSRG to create a free software version of BSD, which helped allow the creation of NetBSD, FreeBSD, and OpenBSD. BSD has also influenced and been influenced by both other Unix variants and other Unix-like operating systems, such as Linux." Website http://www.bostic.com/keith.html Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Bostic Warning: there is also a football player with the same name. 4) However, this is not sure. Some people use false email addresses to send their spam, using the names of famous people. Keith Bostic may also not be the author of the text, even if he possibly sent it. I suggest that you ask him.

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