ANSWERS: 9
  • Luckily, I haven't been in an argument that has escalated out of control.(Yet). I think I know what you're referring to. Yes, life goes on as usual for most in AB. Just imagine if everyone would want to put "their two cents" in an argument (specially when it turns into a very personal series of attacks and accusations). There are enough questions to keep everyone occupied. :)
  • Yes it's good to get back to normal people. I've also learned to "walk away" when it gets out of hand. No sense in arguing after a point. Concentrate on the 95% good ABers! Let the Mods deal with the rest.
  • Never. I can't imagine anything here making me smokin' hot angry and I HOPE that everyone else here can see AB for what it is - entertainment.
  • Well I think it's true that when we're in the fire, it's hard to see that the rest of the forest is doing just fine. But as for smokin blazes, I do have some recommendations: - Know when something should be handled out of the public eye... it's not a good idea to publish every argument. - Don't set yourself up as the ultimate infallible Voice of Truth -- we all make mistakes, we're all vulnerable to being carried away by our own ego... as the Christians say: "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". - Do your best to resist responding in anger or hurt. The presence of those emotions distorts judgment, and almost always contributes to the vicious-circle nature of these fires. This can take enormous self discipline: fortunately AB provides lots of opportunities to practice and develop those "restraint muscles" - Understand "mirror opposition": the more you see your opponent as the "evil enemy", someone who must be crushed, the more likely you are to commit the very crimes you're accusing them of. - Ego comes in lots of variations. One of the most popular is pretending to have the moral high ground: "I'm trying to help, you're just being a troll". Any statement rooted in the desire to punish the other party is skewed before it gets out of the keyboard. - Your opponent has something to teach you. Some people are just bad at delivering the lesson, and it's probably mixed up with a lot of crap. But usually there is a kernel of value and truth to what they're saying, and if you can find it, and acknowledge it, you can both learn something worthwhile from your opponent and defuse the battle at the same time. In the end, life will always present us with difficult people and relationships. This is how it rubs the sharp and ill-formed corners off of us. It's a worthwhile exercise.
  • I've retired from all that. It's all peace and love for me on AB now...ok, FOR now, anyway..
  • I have been very passionate about something in a Q, A or comments string. It is my nature however to not hold anything personal. I can laugh at, acknowledge, give points to, etc. the very person I was hotly debating moments before. It's all about keeping things in perspective. Some of the folks I disagree with most I also think are great contributors to AB. I HAVE had the same thought Jodie, after leaving a hot topic thread and going back to the home page people are blissfully asking about how to get bunnies to do the 'wild thang' I'm thinking "this is a good".
  • It's heartening to see that life still goes on oblivious to the momentary fire that I was just involved in. I think it provides some sense of perspective. It helps me to see that often it's just a tempest in a teacup.
  • I don't think so. i have never been angry here. Maybe I am among the 95%
  • My prescription: take one look and all smoke will dissipate:)

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