ANSWERS: 16
  • Assuming that you have not yet spoken to your boyfriend about this, my advice is to not only forgive it but forget it. They didn't date and you indicate that he cut her off, so it seems that it's a non-issue. However, if you speak to him about it, the big question will be whether or not he will forgive YOU for searching his e-mail, which many people would consider a fairly serious breach of both trust and privacy. The fact that you were searching his e-mail indicates that there actually are some trust issues in the relationship. The best way to handle this is to talk about them. That doesn't mean you should tell him what you found. (Again, I strongly recommend that you completely forget it and never, ever bring it up.) What it means is that the two of you need to sit down and clarify your expectations of each other and work out any compromises that might be necessary. (This is the way to handle it even if you have already mentioned the e-mail, too. Assuming he's willing to work it out with you.) Talking about these things is tough for most people, but the best relationships are founded on good communication, so it's well worth the effort. The two of you need to discuss and settle between you what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to other people, both on line and in 3D. While you may have very similar expectations about dealing with people in 3D, you may find you have very different ideas about what's acceptable on line. Men often feel that e-mail or on-line messaging isn't "cheating," while women often do, so it's important to make sure you're both on the same page in terms of what's acceptable. While you're at it, you might want to discuss personal privacy, and what you each consider acceptable about things like searching each other's e-mail.
  • Since nothin HAPPEND between the two, AS FAR AS YOU KNOW, you shouldnt jump to anything just yet. But keep ya eyes OPEN girl, this is a warning sign.
  • You shouldn't have searched through his e-mail.
  • If he cut her off on his own without any prompting then you should forgive him, especially if you've been together a long time. He nearly slipped but loved you enough to stop himself from doing something stupid so perhaps you can let this one go.
  • I searched my boyfriend's email and facebook and found out he was seeing another woman behind my back for a couple of months. Before I atempted to log on to his email, I confronted him with my suspision and he denied it until I had proof. He then admitted it and promises me he never slept with her, they only dated. He said the reason he did it was because after I had cheated on him nearly 2 years ago with a friend of his, he hasn't been able to get it out of his mind and we were having problems at the time. Since forgiving him 5 months ago and attempting to move on with our lives, I checked his email again and found him flirted with another woman and asking her to dinner again. He says it was a another mistake and decided not to persue it. We've been together for 3 years and I do love him, should I forgive him.?
  • Yes forget and forgive it too.I have done it many times before
  • I think that you should be asking his forgiveness for searching through his private mail.
  • Why would you snoop? That's wrong!
  • Oh dear, I think the question is rather: "Should HE EVER forgive you? Your fault if FAR more serious than yours. Had my husband read my email, that may be the end of everything.
  • It seems to me that you may both be living a distrusting lie of sorts. It's not what I would consider for myself as "healthy", and would not result in an enduring relationship of happiness for either of you, which includes the critical elements of trust and fidelity.
  • NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Seems to me there are trust issues on both sides. This is where it might be helpful to have some real communication going on. Not only should you have not read his e mail..you should not have felt the need. A boyfriend should not be sending love letters to someone else, but did he write it before or after you were together?
  • You sould like a stalker. Why are you reading his E-mail? stupid thing to get upset about, what you found, too.
  • The past is the past and leave it that way. If you are happy with him now, why ruin a good thing?
  • Lemme see if I understand this: you went snooping thru your boyfriend's e-mail without his authorization or knowledge, I'm sure. In the process, you found an old letter to a flame but now you want to you if you should forgive him? Really! Ain't it convenient when people break all the rules in the book and rather than taking responsibility for their wrongdoing, turn around and blame the other person. Wow! If that ain't American society at its best, I don't know what is!
  • You should stop snooping. Everyone needs privacy. What you found out was that you can trust him to make the right decision. Leave it at that, and trust him from now on.

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