ANSWERS: 13
  • Sweetie, when are you going to get rid of this guy and go back to your soul mate of 8 years?
  • Sounds like you have some serious doubts! It also sounds like he is not really committed to the idea - a marriage should be a partnership in all aspects. If he does not want to stop smoking you are fighting an uphill battle on that one - as a person needs to want to stop for themselves in order to do it successfully. I would want to talk to him about want he *really* wants, and go from there - I would interpret his current actions as actions of a person who does not want to get married to you right now.
  • Are you sure he wants to get married? Either he is a selfish man, or he is making excuses to avoid marriage. On the other hand, why are you giving him ultimatums about his smoking? Was he a smoker when you fell in love with him? Attempting to change a man into the one we really want usually fails, you are better off looking for a non smoker who isn't stingy.
  • HECK NO -
  • galaxy, let me get this straight - you're still in med school, right? Your first priority needs to be YOU, not getting married to someone who won't even freaking buy you an engagement ring. Holy smoke! That's unbelievable. Stay in school. Get your MD. Believe me, that is BY FAR your best course of action. Do NOT allow your love for him to interfere with your common sense and the excellent advice people here are giving you. We only want the best for you. Think about it.
  • No I would not. If you are having disagreements about finances now it will only get worse when you get married. I would wait until we were more prepared financially to get married. And I would not marry someone who smokes.
  • His behavior is telling you the type of person he is. You have to decide if that is the type of person you want for a husband.
  • NO! I would never marry a guy unless I was sure he would help with the financial responsibilities, because I married a guy when I was 18 who didn't work the entire duration of the four year marriage....and yes, I brought my own engagment ring, and wedding ring!
  • I want to say thanks to everyone who took time to answer and give me advice..i am glad i asked this question on AB. You guys re-assured my opinion of him which is he is not the right guy for me.
  • when my husband and I got engaged, we were still at university. we had very little money, but he wouldn't have dreamed of not getting me a ring...and I chose CHOSE a very inexpensive one that I loved the look of because I knew he didn't have much money...honey, my cousin got her weddiing ring from a chain store and didn't tell anyone...no one knew until she replaced it...they were poor at the time...there are 2nd hand stores...pawnshops...all sorts of places you can get something temporary until you can afford one...and if he can afford smokes, he can afford a ring...he is a louse honey....let him crawl away...I've had my husband for 27 years and we haven't had a lot of money, but I have never gone without basics...
  • Over the stop smoking thing-yes. But the rest hell no. He's just gonna bugger out on all the other bills too. He should be just as willing to fork out the cash as you are. He sounds selfish.
  • DUH, Honey, WAKE UP! Can you spell "G-I-G-O-L-O?" This guy is looking for a Sugar Mommy. How much do you wanna bet that he's also seeing another woman on the side? What a creep! He has dollar signs in his eyes because he probably thinks that you're going to make a good living in the future, plus, I'm sure it is very prestigeous for him to tell his boss and coworkers about you: you are educated, professional and a good person! But what is he? YOU make him look GOOD, RESPECTABLE and DECENT, and give him a "false identity" of having his act together. He is using you in this way. You're still young..... don't waste any more time with a loser like this. He is self-centered, an opportunist and a low-life. Take a walk all by yourself alone, without this jerk, and believe me, you will meet someone FANTASTIC that will get the 3 or 4 karat diamond engagement ring you deserve! Good luck from a friend in the Texas Medical Center.....
  • Ummmmmmmmmmm NOPE! Wow these are not small issues and I think your marriage is doomed before it happens!

Copyright 2020, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy