ANSWERS: 16
  • How long has this been the case?, you guys really need to get talking. Remember that you can join him. this is a two way thing.
  • No. I would suggest counseling if both of you are open to it.
  • I'd start by picking one night a week and declaring it a "no t.v. night", and instead play card games, or board games, go for a walk or a drive, have the grandkids over, something. I noticed with my parents, as we the kids began leaving the home, was that for many years my parents had slid into seperate roles, and really only did things together when their responsibilities brought them together. Once we were all gone, they had to "relearn" almost how to interact again as they did before we came along. Its not always easy, and I think maybe my dad struggled a little with it, but they found new things to share in common. My mom still won't go golfing or fishing, and my dad isn't a huge fan of gardening, but they go garage saleing, hit the theatre, spend a night in a nearby city. With patience, some time and even a little nudging, you will both find a way to get that spark back:)
  • wow.....that is lookin kinda serious. I really am sorry, every woman deserves more than that. At this point I would invoke the knowledge of a professional. Find a family counselor and tell him everything you've told us. He will be able to give you good advice based on others' similar experiences........and I will keep you both in my daily prayers (I'm an Elder in my church).....but keep meposted either way, 'kay? Good luck Sherri7...:)
  • You need to talk to him Personally I can feel lonely in a full room
  • :D We (your friends here at AB) can be someone you need to talk to if you ever need it... I've got a choice of 2 shoulders for you to cry on should you need it and I have 2 ears to listen with, as well as a working brain to answer your questions and I am very capable of giving hugs if they're needed... :D Now, to address the problem... He seems to have a few issues, and I have a theory that he could be having an affair but pondering on how to tell you, but please ignore that since it's just a theory... Walk into the other room... Massage his shoulders a bit and put your head on his shoulder... Give him a kiss on the cheek... (he sounds like he would be tense, so all of this should relax him and make him ready to answer questions)... Then simply try asking what's wrong... If you don't get an answer; tell him how you're feeling about the way he's acting... Hope this helps... :D
  • I could not! Feel free to email me!! bannedfromyahoo@gmail.com
  • You have probably described about 85% of American marriages/relationships. The other 15% sleep in separate beds too
  • Wow! I think I must be naive sometimes! Unreal this question, how can this be? I couldn't behave like that towards my wife, ever. I don't think she would either, we are so glued all the time, I know it's only been 9 years together but still. Can't you talk to him to come near or you sit next to him trying to break that routine? :)I hope you both can change that, life is too short
  • Wife and i have been married 43 years. when we watch televsion, we are together and still snuggle. Your situation is not normal. How long have you been married to this hermit? I see some ultimatums in your future. if you two are not talking, but only living together, someone needs to file for a divorce. When the communication dies, so does the marriage.
  • At every moment in life, regardless of how old you are or what your circumstances are, you have a choice. It's a very simple choice, but very profound and powerful at the same time. The choice is to live or to die. If someone really SEES that choice, it alters how they live. Most of us do not see that choice most of the time, it seems abstract and distant. Most of us spend most of our lives merely floating along in a sea of jaded indifference, usually covering that over with a veneer of casual nonchalance -- a pretense of being satisfied with having to suck life up through a straw so long and thin that no real sustenance can be obtained. So that pretty much summarizes what's happening in your house, from my perspective: neither you nor your husband appreciate the incredible depth and absoluteness of each moment of life... that it is an opportunity not to be missed, not to be wasted, not to be sleep-walked through. At every moment, we have the opportunity to wake up. That's all life ever offers that matters.
  • Sounds to me like you need to find something to do away from the house in the evenings. Are there any book clubs, craft groups, or social gatherings in your area which may appeal to you?
  • I'd agree with another ABer and say 85% of long term marriages have these periods. It's one thing for a couple to be comfortable with it; it's another for one or both to feel neglected, excluded or drifting apart (only assumptions). Similar experience, my options were to leave the house to either - volunteer-join a gym - take a course. We are responsible for our individual happiness. See where your relationship goes or grows from there.
  • Since you are the one in this marriage having an open complaint, have you ever tried as a woman to distract him from his TV? Sitting next to him and starting small talk ( not complaints!!), making a compliment about his strong arms - or similar - believe me, it works. Do you switch your TV off sometimes or are you glued to it also? It takes sometimes diplomacy and a very special behavior to turn things around and get the communication flowing again. Make the suggestion to start to have 2 TV-free evenings per week, where you talk and listen to music and have a nice intimate meal together. Good luck!
  • No, I would not be able to sit alone night after night. If I were you, I'd move my bum, take a shower, blow dry my hair, do my makeup, put a cocktail dress on, stockings, high heels and take off to some nice and shiny place and have some fun with my friends. All of his senses will turn on if you MOVE towards being an alluring object. He didn't stop being a man when he signed those marriage papers. You have to be an interesting, sexy woman to attract a man. Be it, and you will see that all the time he didn't pay attention, he was just deadly bored from you.
  • at least you have a husband, i dont even have that

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